Oh.My.Balls. Surprise Mega Bowie Radness Happening Right Now!

Oh, Twitter! How I love thee! Why you ask? Well. Because of Twitter, I was able to have a 140 character chat with Doug Murphy, aka PlasticGod, aka 21st Century Andy Warhol, aka Mr. Rad as fuck.  I half-jokingly (only not jokingly at all), twit-asked him if he'd be, I don't know... willing to... you know... display his giant Bowie art piece at our wedding...

I didn't hear from him... until yesterday... when he offered to fucking do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So Bowie will be there. In the form of a giant disco sparkle face art piece. And it is going to be THE TITS.



Thank you, PlasticGod. From the bottom of our Bowie-loving balls hearts.  Check. It. Out.

DIY Bouquets: PHASE 3, The Final Phase

The look of our DIY bouquets has changed yet again. I just couldn't stop futzing with the shape and look of the bouquets after I originally posted them on Broke-Ass Bride.  So I decided to do a new post on how the bouquets have evolved over the last four months... The bouquets I originally made look nothing like the way they look now. Head over to Broke-Ass Bride and check 'em out!

Titty Tape

My boobs are having difficulty staying in my wedding dress.  And since I dance like a crazed maniac, I need to make certain my girls don't prematurely fly out of their holster before the huzz and I head back to the hotel (haaaaay).  So I presented this question to the Twitter Universe, and I got a lot fo great suggestions. But my favorite suggestion came from @senseicorykun. He wrote:

"my g-cup wife uses the 'scotch foam mounting squares.' Listed as "permanent." Get the large, avoid the nipples."

I laughed my ass off at this tweet and immediately proceeded to google "scotch foam mounting squares".  This is what came up:

Here's what these suckers can do: "Foam Mounting Squares can be used on wood, ceramic tile, gloss and semi-gloss painted walls, glass, and refrigerators."

Well. Now they'll be used on BOOBS too. So go ahead and add that shit to your product description, Scotch.  Hopefully I will be able to "avoid" the nipples when taking these things off by the end of the night. 

FYI...

Mike is kicking some MAJOR last-minute wed-planning ass. The beer bottle chandeliers are going to be so bombass. He secured a free parking lot for our guests to park at -- a strip club. AWESOME. He got the hotel to let us rehearse in their mezzanine.  He's buying all the remaining supplies. We have an awesome guest book. AND he's gonna make the lighting design for the dance party. It is going to be PIMP. He's taking care of everything. For the first time since my meltdown, I feel excited! And ready! And happy! And holy shit we have 12 days left! WOOOT BALLS WOOOOOT!

Our Honeymoon Villa in Puerto Vallarta

We lucked the fuck out with the honeymoon accommodations.  Mike's uncle owns this beautiful 5 story condo in Puerto Vallarta that he rents out to vacationers (the fifth floor is the rooftop with a panoramic view of the bay -- what'sUP!). And guess what?! Mike's uncle is letting us stay here 6 days for FREE!! As a wedding gift! Isn't that amazing? We are so grateful this. Otherwise, we probably couldn't have afforded a vacation this nice. And it will be awesome to head back to the city we got engaged in. I am very much looking forward to relaxation. Like, I cannot even fathom that I get to do nothing for 6 days in Mexico. N-T-H-I-N-G.  It's all about eating, relaxing, and swimming.

Here's some deets on the honeymoon suite:

Piso Superior [3rd and 4th Levels]

The 3rd floor has a fully equipped kitchen, dining for 6, living area with a day bed for extra person, a writing desk, and bath with tumbled marble shower.

There is cable TV and DVD, and a local phone.

There is a balcony that runs across the entire width of the house on the street side.

The 4th floor is reached by a circular stair or by an exterior stair and has a bedroom with windows and views on all sides.

Glass doors lead to a large roof deck with landscaping and views of the mountains and city. The circular stair continues on to yet another roof deck at the 5th floor with 360 degree panoramic views.

There is a queen size bed and armoire for clothing.

There is Cable TV with DVD on this floor as well.

Rehearsal Dinner Dress! And shoes! And bag! Oh my!

A huge thanks to my girl Emma over at Cake for Breakfast for posting this dress -- because I freaking love it and would never have found it without her!! Thanks, Emma!! Love ya, girl!

I'm almost as excited to wear this outfit as I am to wear my wedding dress! Notice a "heart theme" going on here? Yeah, me too ;) Ah, love.

Dress: Lipsy. Shoes: Harajuku Lovers Bag: Roberto Cavalli (bought on ebay. ha).

No More Mister Nice Groom

OhmygawdUguys. Mike blogged! He said he was going to step up and take the wedding reigns from here on out, and I am ecstatic he made the time to blog about it!! So take it away, my dear Aladdin Love...

Get ready wedding blog readers, there’s a new sheriff in town.  The date of our vaunted nuptials is fast approaching, and there simply isn’t time for any more of this froo-froo “oh they turned our venue into a toxic waste dump” nonsense.  I will now be commanding this wedding, and I intend to rule with strength and with terror.  

Bowie Bride has taken the lead throughout the planning of our wedding.  She has done excellent work in the creative and organizational realm.  She has a coherent vision for our wedding that I love.  She is wonderful and intelligent and sexy and blah blah blah she’s not in charge anymore.  The time for creativity and lace and bouquets is over.  Dead as disco.  Now it’s time for construction, logistics, and pain.  

See, BB isn’t just excellent at the creative stuff needed to make this wedding work—I’m terrible at it.  Take colors, for instance.  She finds certain combinations of colors that look good together, and is able to compare those combinations to one another in order to determine the “best” one.  I can’t.  I’m attempting to think of a color combination that works together and am drawing a complete blank.  Blue, gray and yellow?  Green, Orange and white?  (I cheated and looked at my T-shirt and Snapple bottle, respectively, how’d I do?)

See, to me when I think of colors, I think of this:

And when somebody says to me “blue orange and white are a good/bad combination,” I think to myself  “what is it about the photons at 450 nanometers wavelength instead of 600 nanometers wavelength on the spectrum of visible light?  What property makes them look good together?”  Which, clearly, is no way to plan a wedding.  
 
Fortunately, wedding planning is over.  Don’t worry your pretty little head, Bowie Bride, the cavalry is here.  I had to smile and nod when you talked to me about design decisions, but I feel physics in my bones.  Constructing light installations?  No problem.  Building a photo booth?  Child’s play.  Creating an audio setup blending I-pod, videos, live music, and spoken word?  Laughable.  Beer bottle chandeliers?  Hanging aluminum can lanterns?  Bench seating?  Public transportation?  Figuring out how to get all that crafty crap in and out?  How to remove staples from your groomsman’s face?  Stay tuned.