(source)
The fight for Marriage Equality is constantly on my mind. It's obviously a huge issue here in California - but, personally, it has come even more to the forefront of my mind ever since Mike and I have been immersed in the wedding world. I saw something on TV the other night that pushed me over the edge - so I thought I would use this forum to discuss it.
The other night, the contestants on Bravo's Top Chef were split up into two teams - BASED ON GENDER - which pissed me off for another set of reasons, but I'll get to that in a sec. They were then told that they would be catering a heterosexual bachelor/bachelorette party - girls serving the guys, and guys serving the girls. One of the contestants, Ashley, was quick to disapprove of this challenge. She stated, "I find it beyond comprehension that they're making us go do a wedding challenge when effectively at least three of us aren't even allowed in that institution." This statement broke my heart. It disgusts me that we live in a country that denies fellow HUMAN BEINGS the right to legally marry. These contestants were basically forced to participate in a challenge that reminded them AGAIN that they are treated as second class citizens. One of the contestants, Preeti stated that she's been with her partner for 13 years. 13 YEARS! Imagine being with the love of your life for that long and STILL being denied marriage rights. What else does this community need to do to prove that LOVE IS LOVE, dammit! If I were homosexual and one of my hetero friends told me they were getting married, I'd of course congratulate them, but deep down I would be jealous and thinking, "Well, good for you. Wish I had that same opportunity. What makes you so special? What makes your LOVE more acceptable in the eyes of the law?" As I continue to plan this wedding, and as the issue of gay marriage gets more and more heated, I can't help but feel guilty that I get to experience what they can't - AND FOR WHAT REASON? What is the real reason why LGBTQ persons cannot legally wed? Close-mindedness? Religion? It's the way it's always been? Or my favorite BS excuse: because it's just not "natural." But perhaps the most ridiculous argument presented to me was this: "If gays can marry, then what is going to stop people from marrying dogs or inanimate objects?" Well my answer to that is simply this: Equating an entire community of human beings to dogs and inanimate objects is CRAZY. Flat out f*cking crazy.
Allow me to digress for a second. I had somewhat of an epiphany after reading Cormac McCarthy's The Road (for those of you who've never read it - it basically follows a father and son as they traverse a dark and desolate post-apocalyptic world in search of hope). This book made me really think about the human race as ONE species - that when everything is gone, when there is no longer a modern world to speak of, what's left? What is the only thing that we all have in common? The answer is simply this: We are all HUMAN BEINGS with one unified goal - TO SURVIVE. All of a sudden, things like sexual orientation don't f*cking matter anymore. Why can't we see this NOW? Why can't we see this for what it really is: A HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUE.
Lastly, I found it very offensive that Top Chef - a competition based on TALENT - would stoop so low as to divide teams up by gender. What was the purpose of that? Because they thought it would be "fun" for the bachelor and bachelorette to have something to ogle? As if the contestants would serve as both the caterers AND the eye candy? I can't come up with any other real reason as to why they would NEED to separate the teams by gender. I talk about this issue because I think it ties right into the Marriage Equality issue. The more and more blurred the gender lines become, the more likely I see this world accepting ALL HUMAN BEINGS and therefore granting them the same rights. My future sister-in-law Amanda writes a fantastic blog for Washington City Paper called The Sexist that talks about sex and gender issues from a feminist perspective. If the issues I talked about here today interest you at all, I suggest checking out her blog.
Mike and I plan to give our guests the option of donating to Lambda Legal as a 'gift' option. We also plan to make our beliefs on marriage equality clear by writing an excerpt in our program. To many, I'm sure a wedding isn't considered the most 'appropriate' place to air our beliefs. But for us, it just wouldn't feel right to ignore the fact that our LGBTQ brothers and sisters can't partake in the same exercise we so gratefully are able to do. There needs be some f*cking cha-changes in this world, people. Let your voice be heard.
Peace and love--
B
The fight for Marriage Equality is constantly on my mind. It's obviously a huge issue here in California - but, personally, it has come even more to the forefront of my mind ever since Mike and I have been immersed in the wedding world. I saw something on TV the other night that pushed me over the edge - so I thought I would use this forum to discuss it.
The other night, the contestants on Bravo's Top Chef were split up into two teams - BASED ON GENDER - which pissed me off for another set of reasons, but I'll get to that in a sec. They were then told that they would be catering a heterosexual bachelor/bachelorette party - girls serving the guys, and guys serving the girls. One of the contestants, Ashley, was quick to disapprove of this challenge. She stated, "I find it beyond comprehension that they're making us go do a wedding challenge when effectively at least three of us aren't even allowed in that institution." This statement broke my heart. It disgusts me that we live in a country that denies fellow HUMAN BEINGS the right to legally marry. These contestants were basically forced to participate in a challenge that reminded them AGAIN that they are treated as second class citizens. One of the contestants, Preeti stated that she's been with her partner for 13 years. 13 YEARS! Imagine being with the love of your life for that long and STILL being denied marriage rights. What else does this community need to do to prove that LOVE IS LOVE, dammit! If I were homosexual and one of my hetero friends told me they were getting married, I'd of course congratulate them, but deep down I would be jealous and thinking, "Well, good for you. Wish I had that same opportunity. What makes you so special? What makes your LOVE more acceptable in the eyes of the law?" As I continue to plan this wedding, and as the issue of gay marriage gets more and more heated, I can't help but feel guilty that I get to experience what they can't - AND FOR WHAT REASON? What is the real reason why LGBTQ persons cannot legally wed? Close-mindedness? Religion? It's the way it's always been? Or my favorite BS excuse: because it's just not "natural." But perhaps the most ridiculous argument presented to me was this: "If gays can marry, then what is going to stop people from marrying dogs or inanimate objects?" Well my answer to that is simply this: Equating an entire community of human beings to dogs and inanimate objects is CRAZY. Flat out f*cking crazy.
Allow me to digress for a second. I had somewhat of an epiphany after reading Cormac McCarthy's The Road (for those of you who've never read it - it basically follows a father and son as they traverse a dark and desolate post-apocalyptic world in search of hope). This book made me really think about the human race as ONE species - that when everything is gone, when there is no longer a modern world to speak of, what's left? What is the only thing that we all have in common? The answer is simply this: We are all HUMAN BEINGS with one unified goal - TO SURVIVE. All of a sudden, things like sexual orientation don't f*cking matter anymore. Why can't we see this NOW? Why can't we see this for what it really is: A HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUE.
Lastly, I found it very offensive that Top Chef - a competition based on TALENT - would stoop so low as to divide teams up by gender. What was the purpose of that? Because they thought it would be "fun" for the bachelor and bachelorette to have something to ogle? As if the contestants would serve as both the caterers AND the eye candy? I can't come up with any other real reason as to why they would NEED to separate the teams by gender. I talk about this issue because I think it ties right into the Marriage Equality issue. The more and more blurred the gender lines become, the more likely I see this world accepting ALL HUMAN BEINGS and therefore granting them the same rights. My future sister-in-law Amanda writes a fantastic blog for Washington City Paper called The Sexist that talks about sex and gender issues from a feminist perspective. If the issues I talked about here today interest you at all, I suggest checking out her blog.
Peace and love--
B
Wow....well, I agree with you as far as the legal issue is concerned. All humans should be able to make a legal contract by justice of peace or judge. I also feel religions have the right to exclude anyone they want for whatever reason they have as far as those seeking to participate in the religion as well as be part of their religious ceremonies. The constitution guarantees this. "The Road" was not a good example to use regarding the survival issue, because in that situation, for the "species" to survive, there better not be too many non-heterosexuals. I, however, did like the book, it did show bare bones humanity and love and sacrifice...a very bleak, but excellent tale. The movie s.b. great! Lastly, it is my personal opinion that I side with those that say one's wedding may not be the place to get up on the podium about political & legal issues of any kind. It is your day, however, and yours to do with as you wish. I would not be offended, but others might. Is that what you want to do at one of the most momentous days in your life? The focus s.b. on you and Mike and the promise/vow you are making. Don't take the spotlight off of you....there are very few days in one's life when the focus is and should be just on you. Enjoy it and let everyone enjoy it with you. Love you, kiddo! You are amazing! I'm very proud of you and your convictions.
ReplyDeleteHey,I knew there was some reason why I thought Mike was one lucky boy to have snared you. No offense to your pops above, but the wedding is also one of the few days in your life that people HAVE to listen to you. So if this issue is important to you, why not incorporate it? (Mike's side of the family is used to political speeches by some family members who shall remain nameless). Love from Layne & Gerry
ReplyDeleteBack when they were voting on whether or not to rescind Prop 8, Eliza Dushku was Twittering about it and I made something through Polyvore and posted it to my blog: http://www.polyvore.com/speak_up/set?id=9054903
ReplyDeleteI for one fully support your choice of gift options. No one is obligated to donate to this cause, but we should consider having a consistent standard for all human beings.
i like your donation option for guests. i chose to have a white knot present at my wedding (it was originally suppose to be on my dress but i forgot to sew it on) so i just had it in the room when we were getting ready and at our table at the reception. now i plan to add it to a bracelet or necklace :) http://whiteknot.org/index.html
ReplyDelete