We are having ONE unified wedding party - not defined by gender. So no bridesmaids, no groomsmen - just one group of individuals that mean the most to us, standing together in unmatched clothing, belonging not specifically to me, or to Mike - but belonging to US.
So if we are blurring the gender lines with our wedding party, then I’m thinkin’ we need to blur the gender lines with everything else, namely the BOUQUET TOSS.
I LOATHE the idea behind the bouquet toss. This is what it feels like to me: Bride says, “Attention all single, desperate women! Maybe you’ll have a shot in hell at getting married too if you catch this pile of flowers I’m gonna hurl at your head! But, oh wait - it’s not gonna be that easy. You’re gonna have to fight off 20 other crazy bitches to get to it! Good luck!” And since the winner of the toss is going to need a guy to marry anyway, why not insult her even more by offering up a free eHarmony membership!
Ugggh.
They RIPPEd it apart!
I love the girl with no shoes on. Clearly this was a good strategy...
Ummm. Are they actually harassing a child in this picture?
Just look at all those jealous smiles in the background...
However, I do have a small confession to make… Every single wedding I have ever attended, I have participated in the bouquet toss. Yeah, yeah I know, hypocrite, whatever. But hear me out. There’s just something about the toss that makes me laugh. It’s like inserting a small tackle football game in the midst of a formal occasion. The second the ‘players’ get out on the ‘field’ they turn into hungry, ruthless, I’m-gonna-get-u-bitch, crazy people. At one wedding, I actually saw a woman push another woman out of the way so that she could dive for the bouquet. How awesomely nutso is that?? Awesome because it was like watching a trainwreck. Nutso because she actually believed that catching the bouquet would make her next in line to walk down the aisle. I’m into the idea of inviting our guests to participate in a fun little game of catch the bouquet, but I’m not down with the meaning behind it. So what to do?
Oh and we’re not doing the garter toss thing. I’m not even wearing a one. That ‘garter’ came off a loooong time ago, kids. Let’s get serious here.
So, in conclusion, this is what we have decided to do about the bouquet toss. Instead of singling out the single LADIES, we are going to invite everyone, boys included, to participate in the toss. I don’t care if you’re single, married, divorced, separated, or a freakin’ polygamist. Everyone’s gonna fight for the bouquet and it’s going to be HILARIOUS. My dad battling Mike’s grandma… My cousins trash talking Mike’s cousins… I can just feel the playful hostility now! Hey - maybe it will turn into a game of hot potato! Or maybe instead of tossing the bouquet once, we can try an alternative. We could play a song, and during that song the guests will toss the bouquet back and forth between everyone, and whoever has the bouquet when the song ends is the winner! Perhaps the winner could get a prize! The possibilities are endless here. We just have to get creative.
What are your ideas for bouquet toss alternatives? And what other wedding traditions have you guys changed to fit you and your partner’s style?
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