Ass Facial Honeymoon

I think we're headed to HA-to-the-WAAII for the old H-moon, but I can't help but check out what other destinations have to offer...particularly hotels with unique services. No, not those kinds of services... Jeez, you guys have dirty minds - We can get an eight ball and a $5 reach-around any day of the week in LA. Down the street even! (Ok, calm down, I'm kidding). Mike and I aren't really into the whole spa thing...but honeymoons are a great excuse to do that kind of stuff, right? Right? So I looked for hotels with reasonably priced spa menus. I found a few places...blah blah blah...but what interested me the most during my search were the UBER WEIRDO spa treatments and services offered at hotels across the world. Ones that had me going, "What the foooo-uck?"

Here are a few:

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Get massaged on a gondola and show your bare ass to all of Venice!
@ Hotel Cipriani in Venice, Italy


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Lay in a communal hot tub with sake in it! Get relaxed AND get drunk.
@ Hakone Kowakien Yunessun Hot Springs Amusement Park and Spa

Not down with sake? Try beer!

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Hop in a tub full of hops and get hopped up on hops! Hop-a-doodle-do!
@ Chodovar in the Czech Republic


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Get your back tapped with a smurf-sized wooden mallet! After, you can say, "Wow! My 2 year old could have done that!"
@ The LakeHouse Spa at the Lake Austin Spa Resort


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Sit in a hot tub while thousands of little fish eat your dead skin cells! And don't forget to wear a bathing suit. Wink. Wink. Wink. Snort. Snort. Snort.
@ The Sampuoton Spa

And lastly, my favorite: THE ASS FACIAL. Just as I was about to throw my hands up, curse the heavens and say, "Why GOD?! Why can't I get a facial for my ass? WHYYYYYY?!" - my desires were satiated. And *poof* I found it. My ass facial destination. I'll first explain what the highly coveted ass facial is. It's basically a mix between an exfoliating scrub down and a deep tissue massage. YUM.

And where can you get one of these fanny facials you ask?

CANADA! Duuuuuh.

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You were wrong, guys. Canada DOES care about our sand-papery butts.
@ Poet's Cove Resort and Spa on Pender Island, British Columbia

So, I'm curious, folks. Any of you's ever tried one of these treatments? I'm particularly interested in the beer spa and ass facial - and whether or not I can get them done at the same time.

Ass Facial + Beer Spa = BLISS

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