The Dance Oath

Aside from the actual marriage portion of the evening, the part I'm most looking forward to is the DANCING. As you all know, I LOVE to dance. HOWEVER, I hate hate hate CLUBS. With the passion of thousand bloodthirsty lions, hate them. I'm not gonna dress in uncomfortable clothing and wait an hour in line IN HEELS, only to be greeted by skeevy dudes, bitchy sluts, overpriced drinks, and high-priced bottle service. No thanks. But it seems like clubs are the only place to dance in this town... SO you better bet your ass I'm gonna make the dance party at our wedding the best effing jam session your sweet baby blues have eva seen. It's gonna be Soul Train meets Kids Incorported, with a dash of MTV's The Grind, sans bikinis. Oh, you KNOW that sounds fly! So, as a means to have the best party possible, we whole-heartedly encourage our guests to take our little oath...

The Dance Oath

I, , vow to dance FULL HOG at Mike and Britt's wedding. To only take breaks from the dance floor to hit the restroom or to grab another round of delicious homebrew. I pledge to dance like there's no tomorrow, and to dance as if no one's staring. I promise that even if I don't know the song, or particularly like the song, that I will STILL dance and encourage others to dance. Lastly, I pledge to throw caution to the wind, move and groove til my legs give out, and have the best night of my life at all costs, even if it means making myself look like a total freaking jackass. Because on Mike and Britt's wedding day, HAVING AN ALL-OUT BLAST is all that really matters.

And just to prove how serious I am, here's some awesomely embarrassing pics of me dancing my ass off. I wasn't kidding, guys.