...Is what Jim said to Pam before they decided to go to the courthouse to get married instead of waiting for their big banquet affair. They never ended up going through with the quick and dirty courthouse wedding, but this line made me really think about making it legal BEFORE the actual big day. I know...you're probably thinking, "Umm, she's having epiphanies about marriage from watching The Office?" Yeah...can you tell I work in Television?
We've ALREADY made the decision to get married. So why wait? PLUS, the state of California already recognizes Mike and I as "domestic partners." We did this so I could receive his awesome health benefits - because the nice folks at NBC decided to not provide me with any. But that's a whole other bag of bull I don't want to get into right now... ANYWAY, last year we had to pay $800 in health care related taxes because I was his "domestic partner" and not his "wife." Had I been his wife at the time, we would have avoided the $800 blow to our bank accounts.
SO, my practical side says avoid the big tax and get your ass to the courthouse before the end of the year. My 'romantic' side says WAIT because it won't feel the same when we 'get married' again in July. But $800 ain't no chump change, dudes. Not for this duo. So damn. What to do?
I think the only way we would do this is if we kept it a SECRET. We will OF COURSE feel different once it's legal, but I feel if we keep it a secret - and still refer to each other as 'fiance' or 'partner' - then I think the actual big wedding day will feel just the same, even if we are technically married already.Alright. Mama needs your advice. Any couples out there make it legal before the wedding? Dost thou recommend?
And oh yeah! Jim and Pam's wedding actually airs tonight. Smiles.
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yeah those taxes they lay on domestic non-married partners are so annoying. i found out about them when i inquired about bringing my boyf on my health care plan as a domestic partner. it was the first time the reality sunk in as to how much it must suck for same sex partners who can't the legal and monetary benefits of marriage. as for what you should do, that's a tough call. i think being legally married before the wedding might relieve some of the nerves and stress of the wedding.
ReplyDeleteI've thought about this a lot, particularly with layoffs in the air. I'd very definitely consider it, particularly because I'm paranoid about healthcare and I don't think we qualify as domestic partners yet. However, I'd try and treat it like doing to the DMV (no fancy dinner, no personal celebration - paperwork only) so the BIG DAY actually feels like a BIG DAY. If we were already domestic partners, however, it becomes more difficult to justify with the wedding so close around the corner. I'm a sap - I'm looking forward to the full emotional impact and don't want to possibly lessen it ahead of time.
ReplyDeleteyou won't be able to keep it a secret.
ReplyDeletei'm just sayin'.
Big secret: My groom and I got married four years ago in a civil ceremony. We weren't even dating at the time and it was my idea. We were friends and exboyfriend and girlfriend, and I wanted to help secure his legal status. No one ever found out. We are having our "real" wedding next year.
ReplyDelete