Tuesday, November 3, 2009
I get it. I get the whole "bridezilla" thing - not so much the, "if my effing bridesmaids don't have effing matching shoes, effing matching hair, effing matching dresses and effing matching thongs, I'm going to effing-O-M-G-explode!" NO. That kinda bridezilla is just plain-ass-CRAZY, and never acceptable. Ever. But I totally get the kind of bridezilla that just wants her ideas to be carefully considered and have her efforts be appreciated. Look, man, there's A LOT of crap that goes into planning a wedding. Every wedding related decision I make is a direct personal reflection of my taste, my desires, and my worldview. So when someone opposes one of said ideas or just dismisses it without offering a counter idea or constructive criticism, I can take it personally because I took the time and energy to think it through and plan it.
For example, I told Mike the other night that the O Hotel is going to charge $119.00 a night for the hotel block. He then proceeded to say, "That's too much. Ask for a better rate." So, I was like, "Sure. Yeah. I can email them." So I did. And unfortunately, the $119/night rate still stands. I told this to Mike last night and he just said dismissively, "Well then you need to find another hotel."
I just stood there defeated and quite frankly pretty pissed. I was like, "What'd you just say, bro? That I need to find another hotel? Me ALONE? After I've scoured downtown to find the perfect alternative to The "totally-booked" Standard Hotel, and put forth all my time and energy into finding a place that would be within walking distance of the rehearsal dinner site, AND be located on an easy public transpo route to the venue. You think that's easy? You think that doesn't take time? I have a 50 hour a week job AND I'm working on outside projects simultaneously AND I've managed to find time to do all this wedding sh-t while you've been sitting bitch in the backseat gettin' all the milk for free! And it's not just finding the hotel! It's EVERYTING ELSE TOO!"
So yeah I kinda blew up at him - went all "bridezilla" on his ass. But I got exactly the reaction I wanted from him. He immediately got it. He totally got the fact that, "Ok. We're heading into the planning portion where I really need to step the EFF up. Britt's no longer just looking at color palettes or mulling over centerpiece ideas. It's decision time. And I need to make the effort to be an active part of it."
I sighed a HUGE sigh of relief. "Yay! Thank you for reminding me why I love you! And why spending waaaaaaaay too much time planning the details of this wedding will all pay off in the end! Yay!"
So here we are. 9 months away from the day. And to begin to make up for his lack of planning help, Mike has assured me he will get on the horn and find a cheaper hotel in addition to The O Hotel (we should have two hotel block options anyway). AND to avoid these altercations in the future, we are going to design a system for properly and efficiently delegating wedding tasks to one another. I'm going to buy a large wall calendar, hang it by the desk, and write in specific tasks that we need each other to do that day. If either of us don't get around to it, or need more time, we will cross it off, and write it down to do another day. But the point is that the "to-do's" never leave the calendar unless they are completed. I'm hoping this works for us. Fingers crossed!
Now I KNOW you dudes have stuff to say on this matter. How's the wedding planning been going for you and your partner? Having similar issues? How did you two deal?
*That's a pic of my lazy groom and our lazy cat, Moe. See how LAZY they are! ;)