Introducing Miss Crack Pipe!

I applied to be a Bee on Weddingbee a couple weeks ago. [Click on the link if you don't know what Weddingbee is - otherwise this post will make NO SENSE]. I got word earlier this week that I was not chosen. I have to admit, I was a little upset. There's just something so oddly appealing about getting to be this alter ego - this furry little animal or inanimate object that represents my future husband and I. Yeah, so what if it's silly, you know you want to be one too. Admit it. So I poured my heart into my application and made sure I posted on my blog everyday that week. A week later this is what Weddingbee told me: "We have a committee who reviews and votes on all applications, and while we really enjoyed your blog, we're not sure it's a good fit for Weddingbee right now."

So I took a minute and thought about it. And slowly I started to realize that, YES, they were 100% right. My blog is definitely NOT a good fit for Weddingbee's aesthetic. Compared to their current bee bloggers, I sound like a crazy person. I mean, I have a filthy mouth, my favorite word is "balls" and I don't have a problem voicing my very "out there" and sometimes harsh views on traditional weddings. I get it. I'm not your average bride's cup of tea. I'd probably end up alienating their readers with my post titles alone: "Ass Facial Honeymoon", "Come Eff Me Heels: Yay or Nay on the Big Day", and "Cocktease Cakes." Yeah. If I was a sweet small-town bride reading these, I'd be scared of me too. So absolutely no hard feelings towards Weddingbee...but I thought I would have some fun with my rejection. I was like, hmmm, if I was a Bee, the icon that would most reflect the kind of bride I am would be nothing furry, or sweet, or even positive. It would be GANGSTA. So I thought, why not make my own little "Bee" intro. Hey, maybe I'll blog as my new self-imposed alter ego once in a while. Sounds exactly what the Bowie Bride would do anyway. So here goes!

Bowie Bride's Weddingbee Parodee Series
(just for fun, don't get your panties get in a twist)

Introducing Miss Crack Pipe!
________________________________

Nov. 13 2009 @ 10:46 AM by Mrs. "Puffin"



Hello hive! Well, I must admit that I'm especially excited about our newest bee! Not only is she super fun and fresh, but we finally get to use the icon the whole Hive's been waiting for - a crack pipe! She hails from Los Angeles, CA and is planning a DIY urban affair in the heart of downtown. Join me in welcoming Miss Crack Pipe!

Miss Crack Pipe, Los Angeles, CA
Age & Occupation: 26, Assistant to the Creator of "Psych"
Fiance’s Age & Occupation: 26, Special Ed Math Teacher
Engagement Date: December 1, 2008
Wedding Date: July 31, 2010
Venue: BOXeight Studios, Downtown Los Angeles, CA
About Me: I'm an LA city girl transported from the saguaro filled deserts of Arizona. I'm a lover of David Bowie, The Big Lebowski, blogging, cursing, TV writing, performing sketch comedy, and eating (mostly cheese and peanut butter). I chose Miss Crack Pipe because everyone thinks my wedding ideas are nothing but cracked out and crazy. So it just fit! Unlike Whitney Houston, I ain't afraid to admit that Crack is indeed NOT wack. Join Me, Mr. Crack Pipe, and the whole Crack Pipe family as we plan our offbeat, DIY, urban, blow-out party of a wedding. We promise it will be just as cracked out as we are!

**Puffin image is public domain and can be found here.
**Crack Pipe image royalties purchased via fotosearch.com
**All other images used in this post belong to Weddingbee and can be found here.

****Please please please know that this is just a joke and that I'm poking fun at my own failure. So don't get all offended if you're a bee, or you love Weddingbee, or whatever. I love them too. That's why I applied!