Tuesday, November 24, 2009

"Say 'Yes' to the Dress": Say 'No' to This Show

Why do I keep watching TLC's "Say 'Yes' to the Dress"? I guess the brides they feature usually don't bother me. Well, aside from the occasional 'Daddy's girl' bride. But good lord, the family members and so-called 'friends' they let sit in on the appointment, for the majority, are just atrocious. I've never seen so many people with such odd senses of entitlement before in my life. They can be just flat-out mean when the bride steps out in the first gown, forcing us to ask the question, "Um, aren't they supposed to be there for moral support"? But these brides NEVER step up to their haters. They just shrug and say, "OK, well. I loved it. But since the room didn't explode with fireworks, I guess this dress is a 'no'"

What? A perfectly wonderful dress that made the bride happy is somehow a 'no'? Without even thinking it over? Shot down? Just like that? It's absolutely looney to me that these friends and family members think they know how the bride's body feels when fitted in a particular dress. Are they somehow magically in tune with her personal body issues? And know what parts she is comfortable accentuating? And what parts she wants to keep covered? And what makes her feel beautiful? Rubbish.

I don't give a flying f-ck if your Mom is paying for the dress. Or Dad. Or your grandma. Or the f-cking Easter Bunny. This is YOUR WEDDING DAY. (Good god when is that going to go without saying?) You get to wear what you want. And if the person who is paying for the dress doesn't quite get that, then you need to tell them. And keep telling them til they do. Because really. What person, who loves you so much that they offered to buy your wedding gown, would EVER want to put pleasing themselves above pleasing you? You are the bride! The one who is actually going to be wearing the dress!

Let's talk about Kleinfeld's bridal consultants, the ones who guide the dress appoointment. The show makes this job out to look like the hardest thing in the world, but honestly, I'm not quite convinced. Yeah yeah, I'm sure the job has it's many moments, but from what I've seen, here is what a Kleinfeld Consultant needs to possess:

The ability to:
  1. Chain smoke.
  2. Dress people.
  3. Speak in a Jersey accent.
Ok. Now that we we know what a consultant does. Let's take a second here to assess the actual Kleinfeld Players. (ha. 'The Kleinfeld Players." Sounds like "Newsies meets Chippendale's")
  • Consultants that [usually] don't annoy me:
Keasha


  • Consultants that [always] annoy me:
Basically everyone else



  • My absolute FAVORITE consultant:
Camille. OF COURSE, Camille. What? You don't remember who Camille is? A simple equation will remind you:

Gene Simmons


[+]

Kleinfeld


[-]

The Shades



[+]

A serious fake 'n bake sesh


[=]

Camille

Camille is Say 'Yes' to the Dress's only saving grace. Not for any reason other than the fact that she kinda resembles Gene Simmons. Well, that, and she wears a chain. [I always give out points for being gangsta].

And then to our left we have Kleinfeld's exclusive designer, Pnina Tornai. Everyone luuuuurves Pnina - so much so that I saw one father buy his engaged daughter a $15, 000 gown of hers. And that was at a hefty discount! A DISCOUNT! I mean, Pnina is mega talented and her gowns are masterfully crafted, but let's get real, right?

My second beef with her designs [that every bride seems to again, luuuurve] is the see-through bodice gowns she keeps making. I have no problem with it being see-through. I don't give a sh-t about modesty on your wedding day or any day. The see-through bodice doesn't offend me in the least. What does offend me, however, is how f-cking ugly it looks. ON EVERYONE. I don't care if you're the fittest gal with the bustiest of boobs: You TOO, do not look good in that dress. Heidi Klum wouldn't even look good in this dress. It looks like glorified lingerie, but in the really bad, 80's music video kinda way. Whenever I see a bride try on this dress, I can't shake the image of Tawny Kitaen spreading eagle on the hood of a car. This dress is an ugly, expensive mistake that everyone needs to STOP obsessing over.

This woman is gorgeous, but this dress is just all wrong. I implore you to find someone who looks good in this dress. In fact, I dare you. Oooo!

I know I'll continue to watch the show just to satiate my love of bridal fashion porn. But, damn, can we please be gifted a wedding gown show that doesn't require brides to disclose 'price points'? Or one that doesn't portray the bride's friends and family as a couch full of assh-les with bullheaded opinions?

Anyone wanna produce one with me? One about the quest for a bargain and/or non-bridal salon wedding gown. 'Cause let's remember: there's a whole world of brides out there who can't spend over $1000 on their wedding gown - or even over a couple hundred for that matter. Wouldn't it be nice to get some researched tips on where to find these oh-so-fabulous, yet oh-so-rare hidden treasure gowns?

TLC, do you hear the indie brides-a-callin'?

Can you hear their spirit animal cry?

Shhh.....

Listen...


Posted by Britt Hollenbrau at 11:18 AM
Labels: ,

24 comments:

  1. My only guess for the fact that brides give up on the first dress is that reality TV isn't so real. The producers can't have them pick the first dress or there's no show, so they set it up.

    We were on an episode of Amazing Wedding Cakes, and let's just say that not everything that happened was true to reality - we stepped in last minute for a couple who dropped out, and I pretended to be that bride, who wanted a cake that looked like the other bride's dress, and who didn't believe that the shop could do such a tough task.

    That being said, it might not have been real but it sure was FUN!

    As for a show about a quest for a bargain wedding gown, I think there's definitely a market for it. I worked briefly in producting reality TV and I'm engaged to a producer - let's make it happen!! In fact, I think there should be an entire show about doing a wedding on a budget. People would watch.
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  2. i completely agree with all of the above, haha!
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  3. Oh g-d yes. (I think I just ripped on Pnina's slutastic dresses over on Thirty-Something Bride's blog today, in fact.) And Keasha is truly the only consultant I like on that show (shocker that we're on the same page, I know.) I mean, I'll keep watching for the pretty dresses, but the family members and friends are sometimes awful. And, even though I know all about sales, I hate seeing it up close like this (even though I think many of the consultants truly believe the perfect-day-perfect-dress bs they peddle.)

    re: a lower-budget wedding show, I don't trust reality tv to be nice to us. My big redneck wedding, rich bride poor bride, and bridezillas (many of whom are lower income) all show that. Ariel at Offbeat Bride mentioned the difficulties she had in pitching an offbeat bride show. Ultimately, when we glorify high end, we portray anything less as tacky. And eff that label.
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  4. I'm with you 100%! The worst are the scenes from alterations where the claws come out and brides act like their brain is no connected to their bodies.
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  5. I've never seen it and now I never will.

    Agree with LA that tv producers would just exploit the less wealthier brides. But maybe I am being too cynical? Shocker!
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  6. i totally agree with you. the show is not good for the everyday bride, glorifies ugly attitudes and designs, and cares more about drama than the dress. there needs to be a better wedding dress show out there.
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  7. I just started watching it a few weeks ago, after everyone I knew was telling me to watch it & unfortunately now I watch it when I get home from work. I finally found my dress the other day, so FI asked why I was still watching the show, I told him I don't watch it to get ideas for a dress - hello my budget is never even mentioned in the show so there was no way I was looking at it to get ideas, it's just entertaining to see the relationships between people. I agree with you about the people that go with the bride, can't believe how mean people can be! 90% of the time I went shopping for the dress I went by myself because I know I'm picky & I know what I want & didn't want any drama with friends or family.
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  8. Oh my god, this is quite possibly the best post I've read. Gabs and I watch Say Yes To The Dress almost every Friday, cause we're totes lame. I completely agree with you about hating pretty much every bridal consultant, though I must admit, I like Randy.

    In terms those damn see through dress....TOTES AGREE. They are so ugly. Why would anyone want to look like a fucking Vegas show girl on their wedding day. FAIL!
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  9. Have to say, I used to own a bridal shop as recently as this past May (when we closed, damn you, economy), and what you see with brides friends and moms is all horrifically true true true. I once had a bride come in with her friends to show them the gown she loved and do you know what one of them said? She said that her "friend" (and I use this term so, so loosely) looked like a corpse bride. Not in a good way. Also that was only one of many many incidents where I thought I was in some parallel hate train universe.

    Also poop on Pnina's see thru bodice. I concur with all your well said points.

    Also unless she is handbeading them and weaving the fabric herself at home there is no conceivable reason why her gowns are over 15k.

    That is all.
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  10. Scratch that - unless she is using semi precious stones they should not be in double digits. It is hard to justify that price when it does not appear her gowns (or anyone elses in that price range) have any unique/expensive fabrication or production technique. I am sorry for the double post response but I got all fired up. Happy Thanksgiving!
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  11. This is too funny. I still don't know why I watch this show either, but it's so addicting.

    I can't stand the mom's that come in and think that just because they are buying their dress that they get to decide what their daughters wear. It IRRITATES me like nothing else.
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  12. absolutely hysterical! and right on! that show is a train wreck but i still watch it since i can't help myself. i just have no idea why on earth anyone would actually WANT to go to kleinfelds after watching an episode. who would want to be treated that way? and i can't understand why kleinfelds wants to be portrayed in that light. just atrocious.

    a friend of mine was actually on that show a few months ago. she hated the entire thing and didn't end up buying a dress. she had her mother make her one instead!
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  13. LOL oh you are so funny, I love the way you express how you feel in this blog! I feel the same way, who really looks good in that see thru lingerie dress? I don't like it and can't believe so many people do. And every time I went dress shopping, my friends and family were very helpful and didn't act like most of those people. I feel the price ranges are way too high too, we need a low budget dress show! :)
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  14. So with you on those bodice Pnina dresses....so trashy looky...I'm not sure I would even wear it as lingerie. I watch the show for shits and giggles....like any other reality TV show, for an half an hour, I get to turn off the brain, and be amused by women who want to be 'princesses' and usually, not so gratfule family/friends. Plus, once in awhile, I do see a dress that I ooh and aahed over.
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  15. girl i watch this show too from time to time gainst my better judgment! it IS kinda atrocious at times. beyond the ridic family members, i hate when the consultants show the bride a dress way over her budget which she of course LOVES and then has to make the tough choice to over spend or not get a dress she loves. personally i think its sick. and when the bride doesn't buy it the consultants just say what a "tragedy" it is when a bride can't afford their wedding dress of their dreams. it really bothers me!!!

    and yes that pnina tornai dress is BUTT UGLY. i can't believe brides love it so much. yikes

    but despite all my hatin i just spewed i still do catch this show from time to time!! WHY??? its kinda like a trainwreck i just cant take my eyes off of. LOL
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  16. i am LOVING your blog. i gotta say - the price point thing kills me. one, if you don't have $2000+ for your dress, you're like, laughed outta the store and two, i wish i had $2000+ to spend on anything so i think i'm jealous. damn.
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  17. Those Pnina Tornai dresses really are butt ugly and for the life of me can't understand why they're so expensive. Some of them are horrifying!
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  18. BB - I was just laughing so hard tears were coming up. I like to secretly watch the show while laughing/venting to myself over it. That show is everything that is wrong with the bridal fashion industry. I hate that hideous Pnina see-through dress - its like save the trashy lingerie for your honeymoon please. And don't you love how rude the staff (especially the managers!) are to paying customers?? Just because their "Klienfeld" - please. Someone can go pretty much to anywhere else and find the same dresses without the huge markup and side of attitude.
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  19. BTW totally agree about the Pnina dresses looking like lingerie!! However, must admit as a bride I had a wonderful experience there with Dianne who actually is very friendly and professional. I walked away with the perfect dress & totally within my budget. Guess these woman appear different on show depending on who they are given ...after all it IS about the drama & ratings is it not?
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  20. You read my mind with this post. 1) The Pnina Tornai dresses are just nuts. What's up with the see through? It's like Madonna's Like A Virgin from the 80's. 2) After watching this show, the process of dress shopping terrifies me. I want to be able to pick my own dresses and not sit in a room and wait for someone to bring me some based on a few ideas. I also don't want to feel like I need to find my dream dress in an hour. 3) What's up with the "moral of the story" at the end? It's a little much. We're just talking about wedding dresses here. That said, I'll still tune in to get dress ideas.:)
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  21. "And if the person who is paying for the dress doesn't quite get that, then you need to tell them. And keep telling them til they do. Because really. What person, who loves you so much that they offered to buy your wedding gown, would EVER want to put pleasing themselves above pleasing you? You are the bride! The one who is actually going to be wearing the dress!"

    We see this everyday. The entourage and the bride who doesn't end up with the dress she loves because of pressure from her friends and family. Thank you for speaking to it bluntly.
    We agree.
    A bride needs to listen to that voice inside and how she feels in her dress. After all, how she feels on the day of her wedding largely plays off of how she feels in what she is wearing. Feel great in what you wear and you radiate that outward.
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  22. Does it seem that every damn dress they try on is ruched? And I am SO over strapless gowns, they look like crap on girls who are skinny, fat, round shouldered, flat chested, voluptuous. etc etc..... my favorite recent wedding show was my Big Fat Gypsy Wedding... bring white trash to a whole new level.
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  23. It's always good to look at a variety, but I do agree that you should feel comfortable in what you wear and be happy with it.

    http://www.laylalynn.com
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  24. Great post. We watch it because it's addictive. I really can't believe the prices on some of those wedding dresses on the show.
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