
Ah, yes. The time has come to ask our friends to be in our wedding. Over the last couple of months I have been pondering a way to ask them. The trend all over bride blogland is to ask them in a more formal and official way - like with a cool card, or an arts 'n craftsy project or some shiz. But I don't know, man. Something tells me that my friends wouldn't really give two hoots about a personalized card or art project asking them to be in our wedding party. These are the people who've held my hair while throwing up in an alley - they would NEVER ask for a 'formal or official' anything from us. Don't get me wrong, they are the people nearest and dearest to Mike and I (truly they are), so making them something would certainly be worth my time. But dude, really? Do we really gotta worry about one more arts and crafts project? We already have over 15 head-exploding DIY projects lined up. I can't handle another.
So, we've since pondered this option and decided not to rock the whole personalized wedding party proposal idea. Instead, we did it the old fashioned way: straight up asked 'em. It went a little something like this:
Ryan: Hey, Britt, when's the wedding again?
Britt: July 31, 2010. And oh yeah, you're IN the wedding. Cool?
Ryan: DONE.
Britt: Awesome.
Here's how we asked our other college friends:
Britt: (finishes hearty beer swig) Oh yeah I forgot! Hey, dudes - will you guys be in our wedding party? You can wear whatever the EFF you want.
Laura/Dave/Steve/Kate: Sweet, yeah, sounds good.
Britt: Sweet. (looks at watch) Oh, sh-t we better get to the bar before last call!
It was already implied that my sisters and Mike's sister would be in it. And already implied that both our best friends would be in it. So that about covers it - except for two more - both of which we will have similar discussions with in the very near future. Steve and Chris, I'm talkin' to you. So if you're reading this, get ready for a very informal phone call. Or simply respond 'yes' or 'no' in the comments below. I'm not even kidding. (LOL).
So yeah. That's that. Easy Cheesy. I guess my advice is this: You and you alone are the ONLY entity that cares about how your friends are asked to be in your wedding party. TRUST ME. No one is going to say this: "Hmmm, I don't know, Britt. I was reeeeaaaally hoping for a string of paper dolls in matching dresses." Not gonna happen.
So if you're feeling overwhelmed with the DIY projects, I'm here to tell you that this is one project you can LET GO. If you're stressed about it in the very least, just say, 'eff it.' Your friends will be in your wedding party because they love you. Not because you spend 4 hours writing a crappy poem that ultimately asks them a 'no sh-t' question that will receive a 'yes of course' answer. Chances are, if you're close enough to ask 'em to stand by you on your wedding day, then I think they will say, "YES." Without hesitation. ESPECIALLY if you're like us and not making them wear stiff tuxes and taffeta monstrosities.
And yeah yeah don't get me wrong, I'm totally down for being creative in all aspects - which OF COURSE includes asking your buds to be in your wedding party. So don't think this is a diss post. I'm just sayin' that this is one DIY project that's OK to let go of in my book.
Did you ask your groomsmen/bridesmaids in a unique way?
i did go the whole psuedo-crafty route. not a single person in our wedding party lives anywhere near us. all of our best friends and siblings are hours to days away :(. So I couldn't just ask over beer or coffee though I would have much preferred that! I made and mailed little postcards for my friends with a flower pin I made. I'm pretty sure Bill just asked everybody over IM. He's pretty chill like that.
ReplyDeleteI gave my best friend a book on being a bridesmaid ... it took her a couple of minutes to get the significance :)
ReplyDeleteA girl after my own heart- answer the question and get back to the bar! awesome. That being said, I may actually go the crafty route as a means to jump start the whole DIY everything aspect of our wedding. Or not. We'll see...
ReplyDeleteyeah for serious when i saw that people ask their friends to be bridesmaids with special made cards and stuff i was like, who would think to do that?? just ask them, even in an email, who cares?
ReplyDeletelmfao re: the paper doll dresses comment. So funny.
ReplyDeleteI lured my sister over with cinnamon rolls and then just asked her :)
ReplyDeletelisa@craftmybride
I'm so with you. Before I got engaged I had no idea it was an assumed norm to make crafty cards. My bro and my bestie are both getting a btw phone call. Simple and effective, right?
ReplyDeleteI'm almost afraid to share, but I posted about my 'proposal' to my girls here:
ReplyDeletehttp://allconsumedbride.blogspot.com/2009/10/proposing-to-your-potential-bridesmaids.html
I am a super emotional girl and wanted them to feel super special and thought of...it's not just MY day, it's their day to have a blast with me and keep me sane! So I wanted to invite them to the journey. 2 of them cried, 1 of them said she wouldn't have expected anything less from me :)
So far, this being the first post of yours that I've read, I love your honesty...so I'm happy to have found your blog and follow along to your big day :)
I asked them before I was engaged but after the FH and I had the "let's go ring shopping so I can figure out what you like" moment. They all live out of town so I asked them through gmail or the telephone. Then when I started wedding planning weeks later I found all these etiquette guides that say you should make a big deal out of popping the question to your bridal party. I felt bad for two days, then all my friends were like, "ah, who gives a rat's butt?" So, yeah, laid-back it is.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you my friend, I asked them and that was that! PS, I'm getting married July 24th, 2010, I'm pretty pumped to follow your blog!
ReplyDelete