First let me preface this by saying we didn't do anything for Valentine's Day. In fact, we barely even acknowledged it. We usually at the very least manage to get in a low-key dinner, a lil' sexin, and a sweet card for Vday, but this year we were both massively hungover from the birthday party we attended the night before. So most of the day was spent balled up on the couch watching Iron Chef reruns. I thought to myself, no worries, we'll be all set to go tomorrow, and we'll have a lovely day together to make up for it.
And that brings us back to today at the Grove. Where my belated "Valentine's present" or rather, my "sweet gesture just because you love me" present, was for him to try on potential wedding suits, pants, vests, etc. Just to get an idea of what colors and fits he looks good in. I mean, we're 4.5 months away from the big day, we both have a day off work, so why the hell not? That's all he had to do to make me happy... elated even! Just try on a few fuckin' pairs of pants. That's it. I understand that Mike hates to shop. I am well aware of this. Which is why I never take him. So like a child, I buy his clothes for him. But shopping for what he's going to marry me in is a whole other story. It is my belief that he is required, at the very least, to put up with shopping for this. But no. We literally spent 3 minutes in each store - giving me barely enough time to see what was even available. And not only were we in there for not enough time, but he was a jerk about it. Antsy, agitated, child-like, and annoying as all get out. And all I wanted to say was "Hey Mike, stop acting like one of your 12 year old students, jackass!"
Was I wrong to expect that he'd give up his hatred for clothes shopping for one day? Or are you with me in thinking that wedding attire shopping should be the exception?
He knows I'm going to get the major hots for him while he's trying on these sexy suited looks...but that doesn't seem to persuade him either. Shit, at this point I may have to trade sexual favors just to get my groom to try on the g.d. thing. I mean, sheeesh!
via ben sherman
via J. Crew
via J Crew
via ben sherman
Anyone else have troubles suit/tux shopping with your partner? Anybody straight up buy one for them without even trying it on?I want Mike to look hella fly on our wedding day. But if his attitude about shopping for his wedding look continues to stay like this, goodgod I'm going to lose my shit.
18 comments:
Try threatening him. ;)
But in all seriousness, he definitely needs to try it on. Suits are tricky.
Sometimes boys do vex me.
If he really doesn't care maybe a little tough love is required. Maybe he can sit down somewhere quiet while you pick out 3 or 4 different options for him to try on?
Or just get his measurements and buy away. You can always take them back if they look wrong? Not sure whether this is really a viable option?
I guess I am lucky? to have a boy who loves shopping?!
I took @capecodbride with me and the groom suit shopping. He tries on a tan j. crew suit and proclaims "I look like a model." She said her guy did the same thing when he got his tux. 1. WHY THE FUCK CANT WOMEN BE THAT CONFIDENT? 2. Can you do something to make Mike feel more sexy in his nice clothes? Boning him in a tie sounds good.
getting bill to purchase the suit he had finally picked out was pretty difficult. i didn't want to be pushy so i only reminded him once a week that he might want to buy the suit. I emailed him discounts and free shipping codes. Well, he finally bought it last week and now he can't stop telling people. he was so excited. maybe once mike finally takes the leap and purchases something he'll get into it. also, just a note, but bill's jcrew pants were backordered until april so if he is ordering online he might want to get on it.
I may or may not have had to bribe him. Although, the one suit he tried on, we bought, so it was pretty painless. The painful part is getting the rest of the wedding party to buy their suits. Oy.
next time try bringing snacks. fruit roll ups, gushers, cheetohs. all guaranteed crowd pleasers.
hilarious.
I bought Patrick the Aldridge 3 piece suit in black from J crew as an engagement present (kind of felt bad that I got a ring and he got nothing). So he's wearing that. Easy.
J is wearing his one fancy schmancy Theory suit that he bought two years ago. I love how he looks in it.
As for the shopping part, he went with his boss, who knows men's suits. They made a dude day of it and J ended up learning a lot and actually having fun. Does Mike have a dude who knows suits and tailoring? It might make it more manageable if he feels less pressure and more fun.
Jake LOVED suit shopping. He was telling me that as a child, he always wanted to grow into a man that wore suits...he just thought that that meant you were successful/happy/cool. LOL So we had a great time suit shopping, and he ended up leaving Men's Warehouse with TWO instead of one (buy one suit, get the second for $100). I count myself lucky!
I've given this a lot of thought. Seriously, I read the post last night, and then slept on it. Initially I liked the though of trading "favors" to get him to buy a suit but then this morning the first thought I had when I woke up was "COME ON DUDE! IT'S YOUR WEDDING SUIT!!! MAN UP!"
Bowie Bride, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him try on suits. I n this case, you can lead a groom to the Grove... I'm thinking tough love may be the best route to go. You've already tried being nice and it didn't work. At some point he's got to grow up and realize that mommy can't dress him anymore. It's his wedding. This should be something he's interested in doing for himself.
I would sit him down and tell him that even grooms that do NO planning whatsoever pick out their own suits. Watch and episode of "Bridezilla" even men that look like they don't even know they're getting married pick out their own suits. It's not like you're making him pick out centerpieces. You're asking him to do a task most men who don't care about weddings do! When I ask my friends who had NOTHING to do with wedding planning if they did anything they always say "Sure, I got my suit, I thought about music we'd play at the reception, and I helped decide what alcohol we'd have".
Maybe you should let him know his timeline. Tell him you're gonna back off and let him do his thing. Let him know he has X amount of weeks to buy the suit because it will take X amount of week to get it tailored. Let him know that if he chooses to come in an ugly suit or a suit that looks like he's waiting for a floor or wearing his daddy's suit because he didn't have time to get it altered, it's his own damn fault. But also tell him that if he looks back at pictures of the wedding and realizes he could have done a better job, that he didn't put his best foot forward, he'll never forgive himself. He'll get his ass in gear because he'll realize the only one who will be embarrassed is him.
I would hope after a week he'll come back to you, thank you for your help, and you can find something good together. BUT, I just don't know if that'll happen with your guy because I truly don't understand him! Depending on how much money you're looking to spend, perhaps www.indochino.com is a good route for him. He can order a custom made suit online and never leave the house (except to get measurements taken). Another cool site is www.blank-label.com for a custom made dress shirt. Maybe if he can custom oder things he'll have more invested in the idea of getting a suit!
In the end, I simply don't understand how a guy who know's he's getting married doesn't care about what he shows up wearing. If he continues to act like a kid, maybe you can pull the whole fake-out parental trick: tell him you guys are going to Disneyland for the day, and then drive him to JCrew or Bloomingdales or wherever you're getting a suit.
My guess, and my absolute HOPE is that this reluctance act of his will crumble the closer you get to the wedding. Good luck and let me know what happens!
That was supposed to say a suit that looks like he's waiting for a FLOOD not a floor.
I totally agree with you that he should want to try on suits for HIS wedding - or at least he should suck it up and do it for you! Does he want you to just buy it for him? He definitely SHOULD man up... but do you think he knows there's an aspect of favors if he doesn't and he's doing it on purpose??! lol... good luck girl :)
We went to H&M and called it a day, and good Lord does he look like a sexy James Bond, I want to jump him every time. And it was under $200...if he's being a baby about it, get his measurements, buy it for him and then allow no complaints! I wish he was more excited, but guys just don't get excited about clothes like we do.
I can relate to both sides of this story. On one hand, I do enjoy shopping for clothes, choosing outfits, and feeling great about how awesome I look in a nice-fitting shirt or pair of pants. On the other hand, I definitely have a threshold on my patience for shopping (usually 1.5 hours, max), and past that point I start to get super-cranky. Maybe your guy would do better with suit-shopping in small, limited-time chunks instead of being faced with the horror of a whole afternoon at the Grove.
Another recommendation would be to ask your guy to do some internet browsing before going into the actual stores. Let him peruse bluefly.com or other fine-clothing sites and start to identify the brands/styles/cuts/colors that he likes best. This research will prime the pump on the "shopping" area of his brain. Then it won't feel so overwhelming when he's inside an actual store.
Also, no offense, but men often do better suit-shopping when they go with a male companion. It especially helps if that companion is well-versed in menswear and can help navigate the racks and assist in dealing with pushy or misinformed salesmen. A suit is one of the most "manly", grown-up things a guy can buy himself, and there's something about being dragged around a department store by a woman that can feel vaguely emasculating or infantilizing (those feelings might simmer in his subconscious and emerge as a tantrum of impatience). Having a wingman instead of a fiancee can help boost a guy's confidence and make him feel more comfortable. The comfort factor is key...a dude's gotta be in a positive, confident head-space before he can make the right suit selection. But once he starts trying stuff on and seeing how great he looks, I promise you that he'll be glad he went shopping.
Similarly, I had an argument with R this past weekend because it's been a month since we agreed he should try a few suits on at Men's Warehouse just to get an idea of what he might want and he has yet to make an appointment even. So I see where you're coming from...if he's not feeling the MW then getting him to actually shop for a suit will be next to impossible.
Man, I had the SAME EXACT PROBLEM with Hunter! It was like pulling teeth! I was all, isn't this the ONE THING that's fun for you? He was all "shut up, ho!" (well, not really)
I don't have advice, except take him to some fun stores that aren't at the Grove. I highly recommend Everything's Jake on Hollywood btwn Vermont/Sunset. That place makes boys feel all awesome and the style will give you a boner. Hunter got his suit there. It was fly as hell.
I am having the same issue . . .I keep suggesting we go out for a nice lunch and trying on suits, he is NOT INTERESTED. We are having a pretty casual, late summer wedding so I think we might just opt for a gray vest and pants. He likes the idea of looking at H&M better, but some of the commentors had great ideas I might have to push the full suit afterall!
Did you get my tweet about this? I have so many places to rock the black suits, email me. BTW This sucks! Eric is kind of a chick when it comes to shopping so we didn't have that problem. The other guys in the wedding though they were all crazy about going shopping for their suits.
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