I have told my wedding party that I am absolutely 100% against them throwing me a bridal shower... UNLESS they are taking me to the bar and showering me with booze. That's a-okay, as long as I can shower them with booze in return. But the whole idea of a "me-filled ladies-fest" isn't something I'm interested in. At all. This is what I don't understand about bridal showers: WHAT THE FUCK IS THE PURPOSE OF THEM? I'm all for getting together with my gal pals for an afternoon of bellinis and pastry, don't get me wrong. But the whole "gift giving" aspect of it has me a tad confused. When you go to a bridal shower, are you supposed to buy the bride something off her's and her partner's actual wedding registry? Or is this the time we're "supposed to" give the bride trashy lingerie?
I have casually attended a couple of bridal showers in the past... And I'm pretty sure I just got them something off their registry... 'Cause we're not supposed to show up to these things empty-handed (I guess?) I don't know, man. But does that then mean I need to buy them a whole separate gift for the actual wedding? Or does giving a gift at the shower count as the actual wedding gift?
Which brings me to my next question about bridal showers: What's up with the faux-bouquet every bride makes out of the ribbons and gift wrap? Is that the purpose of a bridal shower? To gather the appropriate materials for the bride's "rehearsal bouquet"? Because at the showers I have attended, the crafting of the rehearsal bouquet from all the gift wrappings was CRUCIAL. Like "what's the fucking point of the bridal shower if I don't get my rehearsal bouquet" crucial. But in order to make said bouquet, guests need to bring GIFTS wrapped in ribbons and flowers and dainty paper... which leads me to believe that YES, bringing a gift to a bridal shower is necessary. But the question still remains... WHAT KIND OF GIFT AM I SUPPOSED TO BRING?
I was the Maid of Honor at my best friend's wedding, and I STILL don't know the purpose of bridal showers. For her bridal shower, I had absolutely no clue, so thankfully one of the bridesmaids took the reigns, while I stuck to planning a party more my speed: The
bachelorette party, (naturally). So when I showed up to her wedding shower, I came armed with 3 gifts... 'cause I had no freaking clue on what I supposed to buy/bring/whatever. And since I was the Maid of Honor for this whole shabang, I didn't want to look like the a-hole without the right giftload in tow. So this is what I ended up gifting the bride:
Gift #1: A wine decanter off her registry.
Gift #2: Lingerie
Gift #3: Anal Ring Toss
Yes. You read right. "
Anal Ring Toss." It's basically a plastic stick you place in your butt while people toss rings on it. It's like playing a game of horseshoes with your anus. Anyway, I thought the bridal shower needed a lil bit of humor, so Anal Ring Toss it was. WELL... I also didn't quite account for the fact that the bride's mother, FMIL, and FSIL were there to witness her opening it up. They weren't *too* amused by Anal Ring Toss... even though it was a joke, and not meant to be taken seriously (well, publicly, at least. I'm sure behind closed doors Anal Ring Toss is to be taken
very seriously
). The bride loved it, and got a total kick out of it, 'cause she's down like that. But ultimately I got why the presence of Anal Ring Toss at a bridal shower could be a tad off-putting to some. So. Here is what I have learned... and please correct me if I'm wrong... 'cause I honestly still don't know what the hell I'm talking about it. From past experience, I have learned that the most appropriate gift to bring to a bridal shower is something off the registry, and/or a selection of tasteful lingerie. And if that is what a bridal shower is supposed to be, then let's get one thing straight: I DON'T WANT ONE.
What is your definition of a bridal shower? Are you having one? If so, why? (I'm totally dead-on-balls serious. No snarkiness at play here).
hahahaha
ReplyDeleteWhy not just give the bride a big box of bows?
Anyway, I think bridal showers have to do with dowries, i.e. giving the bride a dowry who doesn't have one. Whatevs.
hahaha, this post made me cry laughing. i had a bridal shower last weekend - you can even see that stupid ass fake hat made from bows on my blog. i hate showers...i think they're really stupid. but in a lot of italian families, you kind of have no choice. your family organizes it and invites your bridesmaids, and it's a big surprise, so you just deal with the torture. you get a bunch of gifts and they humiliate you. but as for bridesmaids, we're just going out separately and getting drilznunk at the bachelorette party.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm having a few. Some are along the lines of He-Mouse's mom wanted to host one, and how do you say no to that? The one I'm excited about is the lingerie shower, though, because honestly I haven't been able to afford many pretty new things lately. Even though we've lived together for several years now, I feel like there should be some new undies for the marriage. You know?
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing I have a really good sense of humor and don't get offended by much. Because I definitely specifically told my shower hostesses that I want a ribbon bouquet for my rehearsal. And my registry info was included in the shower invitation. So I guess my shower will consist of all the things you don't want. BUT! We will have an open bar. Hell yes, we will. And please trust that I'm writing this with a smile on my face and zero snark :)
ReplyDeleteI'm having a shower because my mom's friends wanted to throw me one. It's coming up this Saturday and I'm really excited about it, actually. Not to sound greedy, but who doesn't love presents, food, booze and cake?? Plus I'm a total attention whore.
LOL, I love your ring toss gift, hilarious! I'm so not having a bridal shower, I don't see the point either. It just seems like it's an excuse to get more gifts, and forcing people who come to spend even more on your wedding. And don't even get me started on the whole "lets sit in a circle and stare at you while you open our gifts and pretend to love them." No thanks!
ReplyDeleteWELL OK... I am having a bridal shower. I wasn't going to, at first. Then my mom talked me into it. And I started to view it as a "dude, what's wrong with getting a few of my favorite people together for an afternoon of booze? I'm renting a limo and we're going to go wine-tasting. Which: RAWK.
ReplyDeleteBut then the whole etiquette thing started to get tricky. My mom started said I needed to invite all these female family members so that their feelings wouldn't be hurt, even though they live on the east coast and wouldn't be able to attend. And here I'm thinking, oh shit, now my innocent boozefest looks like a gift grab. And I didn't even want gifts to begin with (at least not the traditional kind).
So now I'm feeling kind of stuck and squicky to boot, because etiquette and tradition came in and tracked mud all over my wine-tasting tour. Whatever. I'm just going to shut my eyes and move forward.
I have NEVER heard of a ribbon bouquet. Bwah?
"I'm sure behind closed doors Anal Ring Toss is to be taken very seriously)."
ReplyDeletelaghing so hard... this is priceless. Anal ring toss might be the only thing that could induce me to have a bridal shower.
I have never been to a bridal shower, and I hope never to. Baby showers are bad enough.
ReplyDeleteBachelorette parties all the way. I made clear to my girls (and they have since made clear to me when they got engaged) that I want a bachelorette party and no shower, and no gifts beyond buying me drinks and making me laugh until I pee myself.
But I assume it depends a lot on family and social circle. And in mine, that's not how we roll.
so here's the traditional 411 on bridal showers, gifts, etc.
ReplyDeletesomeone in your bridal party or family hosts the shower for you. the guest brings a present, typically, from your registry. gifts like lingerie are [usually] given at the bachelorette party or a separate lingerie shower. some brides even choose to have several different showers. one for housewares, one for linens, one for lingerie, etc.. and nope, i'm not shitting you at all.
bridal showers are typically more formal and held during the day. the shower gift is not the wedding gift. you should send a wedding gift by mail or hand deliver it. you can send the gift before the wedding and up to one year after the wedding. traditionally.*
*don't anyone go gettin' their panties twisted. by no means am i saying this is law. do whatever you want. it's your friggin' wedding.
@bowiebride i think you've just inspired me to blog about this whole sha-bang. thanks for clearing my writer's block :]
Yes, showers were meant to 'shower' the bride with gifts for their future lives as husband and wife. My sister got massive amounts of lingerie at her shower and I didn't want that, so most of my guests bought me things off of my registry...which was fine. I have no idea if they'll get a wedding gift as well and don't really care.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I like showers with a theme to it that is more for the bride. At a friend's shower many years ago, we had an 'hour of the day' shower. Each guest was given a specific hour of the day and told to bring something the bride could use at that time.
For 7 am, she got a toaster. For 8 am, she got a massage shower heard. For 9 pm, she got a magazine subscription. Different but at least not all registry gifts.
I think it's really a matter of personal desire. And yes, one of my BM's made me a rehearsal bouquet which I was excited to get...but it did not come out looking anything like that pic you posted. I want that ONE! :)
Btw, I did get several lingerie pieces and some fun sex toys at my bachelorette party last weekend :)
Nooot sure about the bridal shower. At the very least, at a bridal shower you don't have to smell diapers full of shit-like substances, similar to BABY SHOWERS...*chills*
ReplyDeleteBut I can vouch for the Bachelorette Party's good-time-ness, and the seriousness of anal ring toss. You were an excellent MOH.
If anything, spend your time during the Bridal Shower having drinks with your ladies as a practice run for the Bachelorette's. On the invite for the shower, decree gifts can be either booze or donations to a charity.
Sooooo, I don't really get it either. I mean, I UNDERSTAND it, but I don't necessarily get it. I think I'm having a shower because my MOH told me I have to. I didn't really want one. But I have to fly home to see our venue before the wedding and my MOH has pinned that date as "bridal shower date." When I told her I didn't want people to buy me multiple gifts for the wedding she said "That's just what you do." And then proceeded to give me shit about my aversion towards presents.
ReplyDeleteThere will be no ribbon bouquets at my shower, no bride bingo, no games. I hope my bridesmaids can abide by all that. To be honest I'd just like to drink a bunch of wine with friends and that sounds like a decent time to me.
Holy sh*t: Anal Ring Toss. PRICELESS. I am with you on the bridal shower-thing. I don't like anybody fussing over me. I'd rather have them pick an item or two off my registry and mail it to me. However, my coworkers have a tradition for bridal showers at our office: a "Stock the Pantry" shower, which means everyone brings something to be used for cooking. It could be a spice rack, it could be a can of kidney beans, whatever, it looks a lot like winning free groceries for a year, and I AM ALL ABOUT THAT. (But, please God, no ribbon or bow-quet!)
ReplyDeleteLMAO you are the best MOH ever.
ReplyDeleteI originally told my sisters no shower for the reasons you listed. And then I changed my mind because I wanted the bonding time with my family. I love that you get together with all your fav women and talk about relationships (through the games and trivia and shit). When would you otherwise have that opportunity? Plus, you get free lingerie (which my ratty underwear drawer needs. ASAP) So whatever. I am sucking up all my negative feelings and just hoping the good will outweigh the bad.
I CANNOT stand those bow bouquets. Makes me want to vomit ribbons and bows.
ReplyDeletemy one and only bridesmaid (so by default MOH and witness) organised the bridal shower in a hurry and didn't bother getting me a gift. i was a little upset at her lack of consideration until i got my finger out of my ass and realised that she had made the effort she wanted to make. and for that i'm grateful. in general she's a really self-involved person, so really for her to do something else for somebody else would have taken a great deal of psycho-emotional effort.
ReplyDelete