1. Bowie Bride’s not ranking her attendants
But rather, it’s going to be a general wedding party, where we all get to stand and vouch for the couple. We are all equally important in their lives. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard of horror stories of friends/family getting upset over the chosen maid of honor or best man. I think this is so petty and an awful lot of pressure to put on the bride and groom. Who just has one person they call their top dog? And what about the whole mess of the best friend who makes you her maid of honor, but when it comes time for your own wedding, you know you want your own flesh and blood sister? Kudos to Bowie Bride for loving us all equally.
2. Bowie Bride’s not making me spend $200 on a bridesmaid dress that I’ll wear for a couple hours Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yes, we’ll do anything for our beloved bride and groom to be, but come on, take into consideration what your wedding party can actually afford. Most of us are too polite and in no position to put the kibosh on your plans for strapless, peach-colored satin bridesmaid dresses from David’s Bridal with a price tag of $250. I’ve also been in a wedding where we could wear whatever dress we wanted, as long as it was black. I thought this was also a practical idea.
2a. Bowie Bride’s letting us choose our own outfits
I am particularly excited about this. Bowie Bride has a loose theme and has sent us ideas and pictures to get our creative juices flowing. But her main objective is for us to feel 100% comfortable in our own skin. Because Bowie Bride knows if you’re comfortable, you’re going to be confident. And if you’re confident, you’re going to shine. And isn’t that the point of friendship? To help your loved ones shine their shiniest? (Especially if they’re single and ready to mingle!)
3. Bowie Bride’s not making us get our hair/makeup/nails done
To expect anyone to do this, is absurd. Period.
4. Bowie Bride does not have a rude ‘tude
Remember that birthday party you went to when you were a kid and the birthday girl was so obnoxious because she thought since it was her special day she could boss people around? Yeah, don’t be that girl. Yes, it’s your day and it’s all about you. But you should be glowing with happiness not power.
So brides and grooms, as a current and former wedding party member, I ask you this: Please keep in mind that weddings can be a lot of pressure all around. It can be a lot to ask someone to be in your wedding. Yes, it’s a once in a lifetime event, and we love you and want to help you and be there for you in every way. But money does add up, quickly. Because let’s face it, today weddings aren’t just weddings. You have the wedding shower, the bachelor/bachelorette party, the wedding gift, the wedding outfit, the logistics of travel and lodging, and all the little expenditures that come up here and there.
All of this has always been optional with the Bowie Bride, which is why the whole Bowie Wedding has been and will be an enjoyable experience. She has made it clear from the get-go that she does not want her friends to feel pressured to follow pricey and ridiculous traditions. I could show up a minute before the ceremony in a nude, crotchless body suit and Bowie Bride and Groom would be thrilled that I was there to share their special day. And that’s what it comes down to, having your loved ones surrounding you with their positive energy to help create a beautiful union. Don’t lose sight of that. It should be an enjoyable for all involved.
What ways have you made life easier for your wedding party? What are some horror stories you have from being in a wedding? What are you pleasant experience you’ve had from being in weddings?
I still don't understand how this ISN'T standard practice. It's even all Jesus-like in the "do unto others" sense of his teachings, so I'm not sure when our culture decided it was okay to torture your best girlfriends with "traditional" bridesmaids rituals. Rock on, Team Zissou.
ReplyDeleteInterestingly enough, I've found that with my own girls, they seemed desperate for me to make the choices for them, out of fear that they'll "screw something up."
ReplyDeleteSo, to appease them, I picked a dress ( which is flattering for all of their body types ) and left the rest (hairstyle, shoes, etc) up to them (with a few guidelines, as some of them asked).
I'm all for wanting my girls to look fierce, but when they asked for a little direction, I gave it to them.
Pretty much the same way with my own wedding - no real order (we did have best man/maid of honor, but they were obvious choices, in my case my one brother, in my wife's case her dearest best friend that is considered inseperable from her) so there wasn't any tension at all. We also did not require people to buy matching dresses or dress in specific colors or anything. It was super laid back and everyone looked nice.
ReplyDeleteWe also had gender-blind wedding parties. I think I had more women than men on my side.
I wish I had let them pick their own dresses. Would have saved myself a ton of money...
ReplyDeleteI picked their dresses, but they all love it and will wear it again. In fact, I own the same dress in two other colors. They're on their own for shoes. And, I definitely have been like the most laid back brie ever.
ReplyDeleteI did have a pretty bad experience two years ago, and fully plan on never letting that happen myself, or to any of my friends at their weddings (whenever that is).
OMG, it never occurred to me to make the wedding party pay for hair, nails and makeup. LOL, I was so green, I figured if I couldn't afford makeup for them, I wouldn't have it done myself. We all did our own makeup and it was super fun and fabulous.
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