Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Dear Mainstream Wedding World: I'm Checking Out.

And by Mainstream Wedding World, I mean The Knot & everyone else who is like The Knot. Which sucks, because I like to straddle both sides of the wedding horse... take a dip in the offbeat world and the traditional world... mostly because I believe ALL weddings are special and beautiful and deserve my respect as a wedding blogger. And because the online wedding community as a whole has inspired me in so many ways - even the posts and articles I don't necessarily agree with. But then I read this comment on my DIY bouquet post:

o.O Those are... kinda ugly. To me anyway. I would never buy one. But I guess if other people like them... kudos to them xD 

Gee. Thanks.  First of all, I'm not selling these things. I have no interest in going into the craft business. I'm just your average, everyday A-hole who couldn't afford real flower bouquets, so I made them myself.  And as much as I'd like to say this comment doesn't hurt me, it totally does. I worked my balls off on these things. And sure. They aren't perfect.  But I'd like to point out that calling someone's wedding decor "UGLY" is just flat-out ridiculous. And immature. And mean. And totally uncalled for. And it makes me question why I ever wanted anything to do with the "Mainstream Wedding World" in the first place. They clearly don't have room for my "crazy ideas" or my supposed "poor taste" in decor. They block me on Twitter for reasons I don't (and frankly, they don't) understand. AND they send me holier than thou articles on etiquette practically every week - articles that would alienate any bride who was even slightly left of center.  I feel like I have been nothing but supportive and kind to my fellow wedding bloggers and wedding websites since day one. I don't care if you are a staunch traditionalist or a couple who takes a ceremonial bong-rip after your I Do's. I have sincerely tried to love and respect EVERYONE no matter what.  I have entered their contests, retweeted their posts, commented on their boards, encouraged fellow brides when they're down, been a loyal reader and follower, but I still get called "ugly" and I still get blocked on Twitter. So the only thing left for me to do is cut myself off from everyone who doesn't show respect for me the way I show respect for them. SO! Goodbye, Knot. Goodbye, Project Wedding. Goodbye, Weddingbee.  I'm just done trying to be your friend.


Would you call my DIY bouquet "ugly"?  To my face?  And even if you DO think it's ugly, are you going make a point of it and tell me in the comments below?  Have at it!
Made WITH LOVE by moi



Posted by Britt Hollenbrau at 3:57 PM
Labels: , ,

75 comments:

  1. Eff the haters. Your bouquets are awesome.
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  2. What is the point of making negative comments on someone else's wedding blog unless they want to...I don't know...sacrafice a baby kitten during their ceremony or something. Even then I don't think I would be able to justify commenting and telling them they were wrong. Weddings are personal...sure wedding bloggers put themselves out there but their choices are still unique and special to them. If you don't like something don't make it or buy it or continue to even look at it if it offends you that much but don't judge another person's choices, aesthetic or otherwise.
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  3. I think they are awesome, obviously a labor of love, and whoever left that comment is an ugly person. So sorry someone hurt your feelings. :(
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  4. i'm just a lurker but i think your DIY bouquet is BEAUTIFUL.
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  5. I say fuck em seriously. I mean I live by the quote "Normal People worry me always live on the fringe of them" I mean why go for something everyone else will do? It's cliched. It's mundane. This bouquet screams unique & you'll always remember it. Do you think my friends remember their weddings years later? No because they all were a carbon copy of each. You rock. Keep being kick ass.
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  6. The wedding world is full of conformity. Do we all really have to have the same exact cookie cutter wedding?! Can't we just look at something that we wouldn't personally choose and say, "Hey, thanks for providing more options and choices, even if they aren't for me." Why be all judgemental about it? It's not like you are bashing traditional bouquets and trying to have them outlawed and replaced by balls of pretty or something. Sheesh. So what if you have a ball of pretty and I had a made by my mama bouquet (that I forgot to even carry down the aisle...sorry Mom). You will get to look back on your wedding and see yourself reflected, just like I do when I look back at my wedding. Thanks for being a breath of fresh air. I hardly read any wedding blogs anymore (for reasons that you stated and because my wedding planning days are happily over), but I read yours because I appreciate seeing something different. Keep your chin up, girlie.
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  7. Brit, I think your bouquet is sassy pants fabulous. And I'm a part of the mainstream wedding world (an advertiser on all of those sites mentioned--b/c this is my biz and how I make a living...)

    To me, it looks like that nasty comment was made not by someone that is a member of the wedding industry, but by a bratty bride. And she's just a hater. And haters run in all crowds.

    I know it will be difficult to do because you poured so much love and soul (and wine!) into this bouquet, but try to let this roll off of you.

    Not all of us in the mainstream wedding world are the same.

    xoxoxo
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  8. Hey Britt,

    I hated discovering that mean girl shit still exists in the wedding world, but I wasn't really surprised. You're braver than I was; I just hid from the wedding 'communities' on both sides of the spectrum. What you deserve kudos for is being an advocate for wedding awesomeness, in whatever form it takes. For the record, I think your bouquets are awesome, but that's beside the point. You are the kind of voice that the wedding world needs, a real person planning a real wedding that is going to be really fun and that is going to make YOU happy. Haters gonna hate, but please don't let the bitches keep you down.

    Keep up the good work, for real.
    Rose
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  9. ohmygod I can't believe that happened! Your bouquet is drop-dead gorgeous!!! I was seriously amazed at your skillz when I read that post. Boo on the mainstream wedding world.
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  10. @Amber Thank you. And I totally recognize that not all mainstream wedding peeps are the same. I just wish more of them were open-minded, and accepting of all kinds of weddings like you are.
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  11. I get sooooo annoyed with the fact that I'm DAILY seeing haters in the wedding world. It's such bull shit... it's gorgeous, awesome, and so you girl!!! Let's throw Kogi tacos in their face.
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  12. I can't believe anyone would say that. As much as we try to craft a supportive, encouraging atmosphere there will always be the a-hole that messes it up for the rest of us. Why do you think we blog? We do it to share our ideas, be surrounded by awesome people,and do things our way. Not The Knot's way.

    I'm really sorry someone said that. It's dickish and irrelevant. I read your post over at Broke Ass Bride and you were so proud. And rightfully so! Those balls are FUCKING AWESOME. I think they're beautiful, creative and fan-fucking-tastic.

    Your balls of pretty rock. So do you. Damn the man, save the empire!
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  13. I too am half-way between traditional and offbeat. But you know what? You need to learn not to give a f--k about what other people think and - at the same time - you need to stop thinking that somehow people shouldn't criticize you.
    They are AS entitled to think (and say) that those bouquets are ugly AS you are to express your opinion!!! No more, no LESS.
    Freedom of speech comes with the duty to accept (and be FINE with) dissenting opinions. If you don't want to be criticized, don't speak. If you speak, learn to deal with criticism. You have all the right to express yourself, and SO DO OTHERS.
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  14. @Rosanna I think there is a difference between constructive criticism and flat-out rudeness. And that person was, without a doubt, just plain rude. And her comment was completely uncalled for. Sure, they have the right to say whatever the fuck they want, but that doesn't mean that I am going to take it sitting down if I feel I was mistreated out of nowhere. I'm an actual writer in my real life, dude. So don't tell me how to take criticism in stride--I do it every fucking day. I live and breathe having my creativity and my writing judged. I welcome it! How else am I going to improve my writing? But that kind of criticism is different--because it's constructive. The person who wrote that on my blog was NOT being constructive. Not even close. And if you don't understand that, you clearly don't understand the point of this post.
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  15. I love them and I WOULD buy one if you were selling them!
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  16. Britt,
    I am going to confess something to you, Just you (because no one else is listening, right?).
    I struggle with the Mainstream Wedding Industry every single day. We might have different reasons, and we surely deal with them differently, but we struggle the same. I started tweeting (before MRFrostings) making FUN of wedding blogs and Tweets.I was at a point that if I had to read about somebody "Heart"ing some silly Armadillo droppings DIY centerpiece one more time, I was gonna ruin our business with a self righteous rant about silly, giggly girls that should know better.
    I still fight everyday. Leslie would dump me if she knew the tweets I typed, but deleted.
    I'm a 53 year old straight male in the Wedding Industry and it still hurts my feelings when someone I admire (like you) doesn't see the genius in my tweets and follows me (like you).
    You may not have noticed, but I don't blog regularly on our site. I blogged for Get Married for a year, and had MAYBE three people comment. I comment more than that a DAY, on other's sites. Your work on BAB included. I can't stand being ignored. I'm an F-ing Baby that way. If I wrote it, I believed in it. I can't just post and let it go until the next time I give birth to another one.
    But, this is what I have learned from people more mature and smarter than I.
    Most people don't wanna listen. People wanna talk. They will listen just to see when they can interject what matters to them. Your sweat and tears was just an excuse to comment. To some people you exist only to spare them from having to talk to themselves!
    This, thankfully, does not describe everybody. Some of the sweetest, most beautiful people in the world do this for a living. We both know them. Most of the good ones follow me (not you, but I'll trap you at some point)I truly love them, and get excited when the RT me, or mention me. I'm proud that they are my friends, and colleagues. They keep me moving forward through the Haters, the self-absorbed, and the straight out obnoxious.
    Keep doing it for those that love you. We need you, and we choose to want you around.
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  17. I think that your bouquet is b e a u t i f u l ! The only thing is about the internet is that it's public, an open forum. Because people are anonymous they often become tactless and crass.

    I think people just need to realise that just because something's there to be commented on, doesn't mean that a negative (or rude) comment is needed, or appreciated.

    x
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  18. Love your bouquet! Eff the haters. They're everywhere, but they're always in the minority.
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  19. That is so rude. Where are the manners, people? Nobody asked this person to use your balls of pretty and their wedding. Why be mean just for the sake of being mean?

    And for the record, I think they're awesome balls of pretty!
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  20. I think people need to learn the difference between constructive criticism and plain rudeness. But then again, in the age of the internet, people who know those things in real life suddenly forget them online.

    As I said on your BAB post, your balls of pretty are so creative and so you! You should be proud.
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  21. I freaking love your Balls oh and your bouquet balls too! Lol! Eff people who are filled with negativity, their snarky comments come back to bite them with through karam :o)
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  22. I can see and understand your frustration with a mean commenter... believe me I do. But to lash at out the "mainstream wedding world" seems to be misplaced anger.

    Was that one commentor an employee or editor for any of the site you mentioned? No. So yeah, I guess I am confused by your choice of target, because while I do think there is fair criticism out there for the mainstream wedding world - I'm not sure how directly linked these two are.

    http://justjennifer.me/ is who who left the rude comment. Not the knot, or project wedding or weddingbee.

    Commentors forget that often bloggers are real people, sharing their real feelings and their real lives. They say stupid, petty, hurtful shit. But, is it fair to slag off the people above for something they didn't do? If you're saying they promote an ideal or aesthetic that is different than yours, and then, an individual felt influenced by that, and then, that individual came to you post and left a jerky comment... okay, I can kinda follow that logic. But that isn't what you said above.

    Some people are mean, everyone gets rude comments, no matter how off center or square in the middle they are. Very mainstream bloggers and even mainstream get awful, awful comments all the time - it's not just you.

    full disclosure, I consider Cathy (aka weddingbee editor) to be a close friend and I'm an old bee. So, it's going to get my hackles up when you bash things and people I care about. Weddingbee includes the bees, so I feel like when you bash WB - you're bashing me, and spaniel above and mouse too. And it hurts when I see that from someone I respect and whose blog I enjoy. and who is #hotforreallocke too.

    As a side note, I like your bouquet, and I think that commentor was super rude, and I hope she is teaching her daughter better manners.
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  23. I think your bouquet if fantastic and shows more creativity than I'll ever be able to muster in my life.
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  24. your bouquets are effin amazing and I love them and the colors are great and most importantly:


    fuck...the...haters
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  25. I get nervous every time I write something on the Internet that could even possibly be construed as judging some anonymous person's wedding choice, so it is really hard to imagine leaving a comment like that directly on a labor-of-love post (or any passionate post. Like this one. AHEM). I'm terribly sorry you had to read that, and I hope you remember you're awesome.
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  26. Britt, so here's the thing. I think you're awesome, and creative, and hilarious, and I love your blog. And that comment was totally rude, no doubt about it, and no excuses.

    But you're a big-time blogger now, writing not just to your circle of friends but to a much wider world of people who don't necessarily care about your feelings. And if you make a habit of coming out, chest pumped, declaring your work awesome and inviting everyone to comment on how awesome your work is, you have to be prepared for some people to disagree vocally, and yeah, sometimes callously. It may be that because you present such a tough, rock star front, people think you can take it. It may be that they're put off by your confident, "I'm ballz out awesome" style, and disagree and want to take you down a notch. It may just be that some people honestly have different taste than you and don't know when to shut their mouths.

    None of this is to excuse the rudeness and the haters, but just to say that if you're gonna be a rock star you have to be prepared for people to treat you like a star rather than like a real person with feelings. Which sucks, but which I think you're up to. Because I think you are a rock star (with feelings, but confidence and with your eyes on the prize).

    Good luck.
    J
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  27. JESUS - my jaw dropped when I saw those bouquets. I love them so hard.

    And seriously. Sometimes you just have to cut out the things that drag you down. It sucks to realize that sometimes the things that drag you down are things you (at one time) enjoyed, like sucky friends, dumb blogs, whatever. You're better off without them. If you're still blocked on Twitter then JESUS just cut the bee loose. Who has time to be treated like that?

    I absolutely love these bouquets :) And now I'm seriously considering making something this awesome...
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  28. ugh I saw that chick's post and was pissed for you. not cool.
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  29. @Christiana
    I totally dig what you are saying, and I appreciate the comment. I was very aware that Ms. Jenny was not affiliated with any of the mainstream sites I listed above, and I was not talking *solely* about Jenny's comment. I didn't say Jenny was affiliated with *anyone*, in fact. I did, however, mention my frustration with the fact that Weddingbee still blocks me on Twitter, despite my continued support of their bee bloggers. I also mentioned the fact that I don't want to receive anymore holier than thou etiquette emails from The Knot and Project Wedding. And come on, you know Weddingbee's editor dislikes me. She wouldn't have blocked me otherwise. Not taking interest in Weddingbee anymore has absolutely NOTHING to do with you, or with any of the bees. But everything to do with Weddingbee's dislike for me and my blog, and why I don't want to support a site that probably doesn't even want me reading it. I saw Jenny's comment as a mirrored example of the treatment I have received from the mainstream wedding world. Nothing else. I understand why you thought my anger was displaced, but trust me it is not. I should have made that more explicit. But I never ever said--not even once in this post--that Jenny was affiliated with Project Wedding, Weddingbee, or The Knot. Plain and simple: her comment represented the same close-mindedness I have seen in the mainstream wedding world. I know that not ALL mainstream wed-people and wed-sites are like this, but some are, and I don't want to be a part of that. It just makes me feel bad about myself, and it leaves a sour taste in my mouth about the wedding industry in general.

    I don't want this to cause a rift between you and me or any of the bees. I'm sorry if you feel that is what is going on here. And if you want to chat further about this, I'd be happy to. I don't want to piss anyone off... especially people like you, and the other bees...
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  30. I think your bouquet is awesome and even if someone doesn't like it the fact that they have the balls and tackiness to say something to you directly about it just shows their lack of class. They are probably just jealous.
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  31. @Rosanna: When someone comes into your house and tells you that your furniture is ugly and she wouldn't be caught dead with your clothes, she's not exercising her free speech. She's being a bitch. So the Internet is a public forum... Jenny can say whatever nasty shit she wants, but that doesn't stop her from being an asshole, and that doesn't stop it from hurting people's feelings. Even if Brit wasn't so hurt by it, it was still a ridiculous and mean thing to write.

    I'm of the opinion that if you want the right to your "free speech," you can write your own damn blog and not insult people on theirs.
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  32. And... I totally intended to own that comment. ^
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  33. Wow. Some people have no manners. Or they don't understand the concept that a PERSON wrote that post and made that bouquet and is preparing to celebrate love and commitment with their WEDDING. Just wow.
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  34. Christiana- I think Brit explained herself pretty well. She wasn't just talking about this one incident. She has been attacked before FOR NO GOOD EFFING REASON.

    Brit is a rock star, her flowers are better than anything I have ever made and no one needs to tell her anything different.

    I am so fed up with people who say that blogging is putting yourself out there, therefore hurtful comments are only to be expected. Why? Because these silly personal wedding blogs attract trash?

    NO.

    Those comments are not acceptable.

    We should applaud people who are brave enough to share themselves and swallow any mean thoughts that spring into our heads.

    You go, Brit.
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  35. I think the bouquet is beautiful!!
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  36. I think one of the hardest things any bride - or any couple - can do is to open themselves up to criticism by crafting a day that is different than the stereotypes (think Soap Opera Weddings/Movie Weddings).

    I wish I had your patience. I tried poms. I tried paper flowers for a bouquet. I wish they had come out like yours. Thank you for sharing!
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  37. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...and some people are just blind! That bouquet ROCKS HARD! It is gorgeous and amazing and bright and pretty and colorful and fun! And so totally unique and so totally you. I absolutely love it.

    Eff those other commenters and blogs and wedding sites that take issue with those who want to do things through their own personality and style. Hell, I would never have a black wedding gown but I've seen it done and absolutely loved it. Not my thing, but still gorgeous!

    So don't worry about it...you are right on target and that bouquet is just fab.
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  38. I'm so sorry that someone decided to be that rude to you Britt! I would call myself a more traditional bride, but I HATE the cookie cutter weddings and LOVE seeing fresh and new ideas, even if it doesn't fit with my style and personality. There are so many ways to make a wedding unique and personable that still fit in a somewhat traditional way. I've left a few comments on WeddingBee, but a lot of the comments I get back are about how to be a cookie cutter wedding (ivory linens work great! use a piece of glass on the table centerpieces, etc, etc, etc...where are all the new fresh ideas?!?). So even for someone who is more on the traditional side, it doesn't really work for me. Sigh....after my wedding I will get my event design business going and help design the most amazing weddings ever...traditional and non-traditional! ;)

    I love that you are bringing your personality into things, you are so not traditional and your wedding will fit YOU! And, the coolest part about your bouquets is that you can keep them forever!
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  39. When I saw these? My mouth dropped.

    'Nuff said. Amazing.
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  40. Since I commented AND emailed you my intense joy upon seeing these bouquets this morning, you already know how I feel about this bouquet amazingness. And your bravery and balls (of all sorts) inspire me. We all know that class is more than trying to buy it via traditional aesthetics and wedding plans: it's in how we each handle our individual lives - traditional or not - and treat the myriad of people who surround us. This commenter and any other knee-jerk responses from (some) mainstream wedding sources only betray themselves and don't reflect at all on your awesomeness.
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  41. Love you, Jana. Love you, Beccs. Love you, Darling Cups. Love you, Lyn-a-lish. Love everyone who took the time to read and comment. I appreciate the discussion. You all are my ROX. My balls. My stones. My cajones. Call me up if you want to make out any time.
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  42. I woke up to this kerfuffle in my twitter and having just got into work I've looked it up and am, quite frankly, astonished. And pretty upset.
    I do not understand why people need to be mean. Freedom of speech, having your own opinion blah blah blah, for sure, but why bother taking time to just be outright RUDE and MEAN to someone? You may as well just go up to a new mother and tell her you think her baby's ugly. There's constructive criticism and then there's bitchiness.

    But what makes me even more upset is that someone would be so IGNORANT as to leave comments in that vein on THIS site. I love BowieBride for its kookiness, for its ideas that are born of psychedelic dreams and funky love, for the passion and creativeness of Britt and her independence. I am (much to my own surprise I assure you) infuriated that anyone cannot see those elements and has dared to defile what is, in my opinion, one of the best, most open and supportive wedding blogs out there.

    And it's a shame, because up until now I had been living in the happy dream that the wedding community (online) was such a supportive, dynamic group of people. Way to go narrow-minded, short-sighted fuckheads for ruining that.

    I love you Britt, don't go changing.
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  43. Honey, those are beautiful, and who wants to be the same as everyone else.
    Coventiality is way over rated and you clearly think outside the box.
    I think those rock , and your wedding is going to be a celebration of what and who you are.
    What that person said sucks and that makes them a person with an ugly soul.
    Your wedding is about you, nobody else [ well maybe H2B ] and that makes any other persons opinion irrelevant.
    They are not worth wasting emotion on.
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  44. I've been edited, and published too, so I know what you mean by constructive criticism improving your work. But what I don't understand is, why does a rude comment bother you? It can't bother you if you think that person is just an uneducated moron blowing out steam without grounds.
    My guess is that the reason it was so hurtful to you was because by your own admission you can't afford real flower bouquets and you felt insulted.
    Personally, I too don't like your bouquet because 1) I don't like splashy colors, preferring naturals and pastels, 2) I don't like the pairing of contrasting colors and 3) the look of those bouquets is too funky for my taste. Therefore, they wouldn't fit me and the wedding I chose to have so I wouldn't buy them either.
    I hope that doesn't make you feel more insulted because it's just honest feedback.
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  45. people are just scum...and the more im in this wedding blogging world the more i realise that alot of them are the 'pretty pretty popular-girls-at-school type holier than tho shit bag' kind of girls.
    screw them. you rock britt and you KNOW it. i bloody love you.
    and yes your bouquets are AWESOME..and hell even is they WEREN'T what gives them the right to judge?
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  46. A lurker here. I thought your bouquets were awesome (despite being totally unlike what I'd choose myself - but that's the point right)and thought the DIY bit with the corks was really helpful. I want to DIY bouquets, possibly out of felt but as yet undecided so it was great to see how someone else went about it. I think Kat's right, it's so the 'popular' girls out in force again.
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  47. I think your bouquet is incredibly beautiful!!

    I'm so sorry for that mean, rude comment, there is no excuse for something like that. I mean, good grief, didn't we all learn the adage "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all!"
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  48. @Amber said what I was thinking! It's just unecessary meanness to tell someone something they worked so hard on is ugly. That's not constructive criticism at all. It is never ever ever ok to just come flat out and say that something is ugly because what would be the purpose of doing that? The purpose is obviously nothing other than to be mean, end of story. I really don't know what the debate is about - it was uncalled for and I really don't see how people could view it as otherwise.
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  49. I'm so sick of the haters! Probably just an insecure, bratty bride who doesn't know any better. I love your DIY bouquet, eff that nonsense that you hear from random people. You are planning a wonderful wedding that reflects you two as a couple, and that is all that matters.
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  50. Booo on them. I had a similar situation when i was planning....and it was on The Knot. I stopped going to their site after that. F EM.
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  51. I love your balls of pretty and they inspired me so much! I having been working on my own DIY bouquets and after seeing yours all beautiful and finished, it made me that much more excited to work on and finish mine.
    I saw the comment and indeed found it rude. I get freedom of speech but what ever happened to "if you cant say something nice, dont say anything at all". The comment was just hurtfull and not at all constructive.
    I also understand your choice to disconnect from a group that keeps hurting you in rude passive-aggressive ways despite your attempts to show respect and friendship. Just remember that you're awesome and are not defined by others, but by what you choose for yourself. Forget them and their opinions. You arent just going to have an awesome day with some kick-ass balls of pretty, your going to have an awesome life, because your an awesome person!!
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  52. I've got a feeling that a TON of planning brides feel the same way as you do. At this very moment, there is a "revolution" of sorts happening within the bridal industry. What was once traditional and "proper" is now considered "cliche", "boring" or "cookie-cutter". Big corporate wedding websites do not dictate the pulse of the wedding market, planning brides & grooms do. Thanks for being the voice of today's modern bride. We are listening. -Rudy
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  53. @Rosanna
    Yeah. Your criticism was certainly easier to swallow. But was it necessary? Absolutely not. And because of that, I still believe you are missing my point. The rude comment that person left me was the last straw in a long line of frustrations with the mainstream wedding world. The comment is what pushed me over the edge. Would I have made such a big deal about it had I not been burned by others in this industry? Probably not. So there's your answer.
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  54. I make wedding cakes for a living, and there are a lot of tradiotionalists out there who can't wrap their minds around anything other than white roses. So I make a lot of white gumpaste roses. But I LOVE that bouquet, and if someone came to me and showed me that and said they wanted their cake to be based on it I would jump for joy! Some people just like to post negative comments when they're totally not necessary. That's their burden.
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  55. This industry is hard to put up with! I find it to be the case because they have their idea of what a "proper bride" should be and they try to enforce it on people. Whoever dissents is looked down at as if one were from Mars.
    Many of these things they are trying to enforce are fads (ie Pantone "contrasting color" palette, bunting, candy bars, etc) and they use groupthink to try to "boss" dissenters into submission.
    I've had my fair share of fights on wedding related topics... such as everybody and their dog using a birdcage veil (even with gowns that look like S--T with a birdcage veil on) or everybody being literally afraid of using chunky jewelry or "important" veils because they want to be "simple".
    If you browse mainstream blogs they seem like featuring only one kind of wedding: outdoor wedding, contrasting colors runamock, a birdcage veil, colored shoes, funky invitations, bunting, simple jewelry, informal attire and a candy bar. And they pass the n-th wedding like that for "different" or "alternative" just because it isn't all white. I'd rather see a gothic wedding than yet another rustic chic one GROWL
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  56. F*ck people. Seriously. There's no need for comments like that. Don't like it, keep your f'ing mouth closed/fingers off your keyboard and go back to Stylemepretty.

    I think the bouquets are wonderful. You spent hours working on them and they're an expression of your creativity. The overall look's gonna ROCK when you put it all together with your dress & shoes. I think it's even better because you can keep them forever!

    Personally, I hit the filter button a LOOONG time ago on any email from theknot, wedding channel, etc. If I want to read the updates I'll click over to the SPAM folder, but that shizz isn't clogging up my inbox anymore.

    Screw em Britt. Some of us are still sane. And we still think you rule.
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  57. I think your bouquets are kick-ass. I also think that negative commenter can suck it. xoxo.
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  58. britt, that comment would TOTALLY hurt my feelings. i'm really, really sorry that someone would take the time to be hurtful.

    and it is NOT ugly. it is fab. and it's going to suit your wedding perfectly.

    down with haters, dude.
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  59. bottom line: if you can't say anything nice, shut the f*ck up.

    Roughtly eighty percent of the stuff on 90% of wedding blogs is not my taste {big poufy ballgowns or groomsman in high tops jumping in the air or costumes? Not so much.}, but would I ever write - "That's ugly" or even take time to say "that's not my taste"? No. What's the point? THAT bride likes it/created it/did it from her heart...it's HER wedding so step the f*ck off.

    Britt, thanks for sharing your wedding planning and, more importantly your and Mike's love journey with us all. You are a breath of fresh air in a sea of stale, reconstituted wedding tripe. Keep rockin'...
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  60. @Cupcake wedding - I've never, ever said snarky or rude comments were okay. Ever. As much as I would prefer it not to happen, it does - and I think it's important to address to tone and actions that individuals promote on the internet.

    On the plus side, that girl linked to her actual blog. So in many way she owned (despite it's rudeness) her comment - which is a rarity.

    And if someone spent time creating a satire of something you work very hard on, for several hours - I doubt you'd want to see when or if that space was opened for others to say nasty things about it. In the comments of the highve posts there have been some really shitty ones. I think that some have been removed and some haven't - but they're still hurtful.

    I only read the highve posts from my reader now, because I don't want to see comments talking about something or someone that I care about is so lame. Or how one of my friends is so "cookie cutter". Perhaps I'm sheltering myself, but really, I only have so much time in one day to get pissed off and where I am from 9-5:30 is practically guaranteed to do just that - so forgive me if i don't want to involve myself in (every) internet battle when I leave the office. Why would I want to see that?

    Here are a few snipits from post comments tagged w/ Miss Crack Pipe

    "I'm pretty certain that Miss Peony was one of the most cookie cutter brides that there was on Weddingbee. I mean, she never blogged consistently, and her wedding was just way normal.I'm pretty certain that Miss Peony was one of the most cookie cutter brides that there was on Weddingbee. I mean, she never blogged consistently, and her wedding was just way normal."

    "glad i dont have to write for another site now and yesh bleeugh poofy, cutsy crap indeed.
    i never visit that site now anywhat. uber yaaawn or what?!"

    "They exist to sell the services of the purveyors of all things WEDDING." (edit: yeah all those DIY posts... we bees are clearly corporate shills.)

    "FUCK THOSE PEOPLE"

    "I've noticed that a lot of people over there are severely lacking a sense of humor. Seriously, the topic "what is snarkiness" is being debated on the boards over there... ridiculous." (edit: god forbid we encourage a polite discourse...)
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  61. I LOVE how your bouquets turned out. Eff the naysayers.
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  62. @Christiana (us meets uk) and the rest that are posting serious negativity.

    I am a lurker and someone who feels somewhat compelled to defend Bowiebride.

    I am really not sure why you have taken it upon yourself to defend a wedding site that CLEARLY has a different style then Bowiebride. If Bowiebride wants to blog about those differences and make light of the situation...then allow her that right. IF and IF the bee's want to blog about Bowiebride then that is their right, too. I am sure that Bowiebride would afford them the creative freedom to do just that. The tidbits you posted above take many of her comments completely out of context. She ALWAYS uses the same opportunity to say that her writing is with HUMOR and FUN and that she has RESPECT for the Bee’s. So, unlike some of the commentary that you have provided above, all of her writing comes from a place of positivity and humor and NOT from a place of disrespect. I think you should realize that by blocking a particular blogger from following or mentioning a twitter account, not including individuals because their “voice” doesn’t fit into a predefined mold and the list continues is FAR worse. It’s trying to create an elite club out of wedding planning and suggests that every voice shouldn’t be heard. RIDICULOUS. At least Bowiebride has the decency to acknowledge the Bee’s with humor and respect.

    The biggest difference between you, @Jenny, and Bowiebride is POSITIVITY.

    There are many events in life where negativity is unavoidable…and the wedding blog world should not be one of them. In my opinion, that is the bottom line of her recent posts. Why waste time being negative and disrespectful to perfectly decent people?
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  63. I'm defending a site that I am part of, that my friends are part of. Why do you act as if it's some big anonymous group? We're real people too.

    I'd also like to point out, that the comments above are comments, not Brit's words. However, her blog became an open forum for those comments to be made, and is the home of the words.

    The comments I highlighted are from the beginning of the highve. While I'm glad that the Crack Pipe post's comment sections have become more about supporting and laughing along with the bloggers... that's not where the comments originally began. I love that it has evolved into a place for witty individuals to share their weddings with a larger audience. I'm glad the comments are currently more about positivity for the bloggers and less about weddingbee or bee bashing.

    I don't have to love negative comments that bash my friends or I. Remind me why I or anyone else who devotes a large amount of time to writing for the 'bee would want to see those kinds of comments?

    I am a huge supporter on positive comments, online communities and owning what you say online. Which is why I'm so shocked when commentors are so disparaging and then they turn around and say they abhor negativity.
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  64. I am not going to respond in detail to the commentary above.

    I will say, however, that my comments are certainly not accompanied with a tone that in anyway is intended to belittle you. My comments are coming from a person that is obviously less emotionally involved and they are meant to merely point out the feeling that I have upon reading her posts (specifically her recent posts) and the comments that have ensued.
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  65. Britt,
    I dig your blog and your DIY bouquets. Keep doing your thing because it's fantastic! Mean people suck.
    hearts and kisses,
    SparkleKitty
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  66. WWSSD - When faced with these haters, just ask yourself What Would Shawn Spencer Do? Just give this chick the bitchiest banana award.
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  67. Oh man I can't believe someone said that - how frigging mean :( I think they're cute and I love that you made them yourself - not sure I could do that!

    As for mainstream wedding world... there's lots of us girlies that love blogs like yours for that very reason xx
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  68. seriously I say eff the haters too! Since starting my blog or even before that I would never write a negative comment about someone's own project or the style of their wedding. It's completely rude and hurtful to be totally honest. My new husband :) and I are not so crafty and did so many DIY projects for our wedding - some came out looking like a 5th grader did them but you know what - we still did them and together and saved a ton of money.
    I do however try not to hate on the mainstream wedding world either - they do serve a purpose and many people find inspiration from their blogs and magazines - I know I did. I guess it's just how you read into them - sure some of the weddings are over the top and WAY expensive for me but who am I to judge when I don't want them to judge me.

    Love the bouquets - go out there and rock them!
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  69. people are fucking nuts! seriously, half the shit that is said across screen wouldn't be said face to face.

    put you know what?! this post is rad. you are rad. your bouquet is badassrad. yay for love...cause after all, THAT'S the point of a GD wedding!!!

    much love to you and YOUR ways. that's what makes you a worthwhile read my dear :)
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  70. I love you, and you are amazing. You do awesome things. Also, who else would I have bicostal dance parties with? EXACTLY. You = da bomb.

    Amazon love and hugz,
    LAHRENZ
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  71. I'm new here...and not anywhere near getting married myself right now...but I just wanted to say that I really like your boquet. I personally am not into the ball shape that many boquets I've seen are formed in...but I love the actual flowers, and think they'd look really cool in a looser boquet as well. And I LOVE the colours! This is definitely a memorable boquet, and has been added to my list of ideas for when I DO get to plan my wedding. Thanks so much for sharing!
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  72. Two points:
    First point, I love your bouquet - I'm personally trying to make one out of butterflies.
    Second point, I've pretty much decided the same thing - the other day on the Knot I was reading an etiquette column about if you really have to wear make-up on your wedding day and the answer was yes so you don't look washed out in your wedding photos. What BS. I never wear make up and I don't look washed out in my photos that I take every day - why would a wedding make a difference? I didn't wear make-up to my senior pictures and I didn't look washed out in them. I'm sick of them selling an idea and not believing in the truth of life and of weddings - which is do what you want to do.
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  73. Ya know, I used plastic plates at my reception (GASP!) because I refused to pay interest on my wedding. We paid cash for everything, with a short planning period, and found super cute white triangular plastic plates for nearly nada. Which we then used to serve our dessert only reception.

    And we were told many times over that it was TACKY (gasp!). Yup, even by one of those 'Bees.

    And you know what? I LOVED my gd tacky wedding. Loved the balls off of it.
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  74. I know this is old in interwebs terms, but when I saw your bouquet post I starred it in my google reader for later. Because I really don't want nor can I afford flowers, I'd been looking at flower alternatives. And your bouquet looked badass and I thought it would be good to feel a little badass on one's wedding day.
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  75. Jeez that's shocking! I think its lovely and the fact you made it yourself is awesome, besides who cares what others think did it fit with your theme yeah course it did! I'm making my bouquet out of buttons and I don't give a toss if people don't like mine I will and that's all I care about.
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