Honesty. Clarity. And the future of this blog.

I am a writer. Not a wedding blogger. A writer.  Yes, I write about weddings and share details concerning my own wedding, but that is not what defines me as a writer, or as a person, and it is ultimately not what I want my life's focus to be on.  Don't get me wrong, I have been so very blessed with the many amazing things that have come from joining the online wedding community. I mean, I made Bride Tide's Top 100 only months after I started blogging; I have met so many new and amazing people, and have built many new friendships; I have thousands of people a month who make it a point to read what I write... I mean, the list of positives go on and on... And for those reasons, I am forever indebted to the wedding world.  HOWEVER, it has become apparent to me now more than ever that I need to reevaluate what my place in this industry is, and what type of wedding blogger I want to be after my wedding is over.  I came to this realization yesterday... after the rude blog comment and my subsequent response post... which unfortunately resulted in me wasting my entire day concerning myself with this issue and the repercussions thereof.

Then I realized something else: I realized that I have, in fact, experienced many, MANY days where my mind has been completely consumed by wedding because of something I wrote on my blog, or because of a mean comment someone shat on me.  This whole "losing focus on real life" thing has been more present than I would like to admit, actually. And it wasn't until yesterday that I truly recognized it.  And to be quite honest: I hate myself for it. It has caused me to feel inadequate in other areas of my life... particularly my career.  If my mind is being consumed with wedding writing and promoting my blog posts, etc, then how the hell am I expected to find time to focus on my career-related writing? And yes, I totally get that any kind of writing a writer does is good and helps to further one's career in personal development ways, and so on.  But when I am concerned all day with having to defend the content of my posts so I don't come off like a flippant asshole, I come home feeling less than satisfied with the day I just had. Sure, I got to explain myself to my readers, and we're back to holding hands and making kissy faces at each other, but DAMN, I can't make a habit of this. I just can't. As much as I love to discuss weddings and the WIC in an intelligent manner with intelligent individuals, I hate hate HATE when "wedding talk" gets in the way of my real life and my career goals as a writer. It has consumed me more than I would like to admit, and I can't handle it anymore.

As the wedding gets closer and closer (7 weeks!), I have been forced to ask myself what sort of blogger I want to be after I am married.  A "wife blogger," a "bride blogger," a "this is married life blogger"... ?  Meh.  Just the thought of that makes me groan.  Not because I don't think I could write something interesting about being married, or because of some general disinterest in married people's blogs, NO. I just don't think it would be very enjoyable and/or worth it to me in the grand scheme of my writing career. Don't get me wrong, I still love being a voice in this community--a voice I feel that is vastly under-represented.  But I absolutely cannot continue to run the kind of content that makes me lose focus on my life outside of the wedding blog. And thankfully, this admission has made me realize what posts actually do excite me when writing about wedding-related topics...

After the wedding is over, I will stop writing posts that dissect the wedding industrial complex.   It's not that I don't want to write about weddings at all--no. I just don't want to blog in depth about the WIC and feel like I need to have lengthy discussion in which I defend my opinion to complete strangers about a subject I have no desire to be a part of after our wedding is over, at least on my own blog anyway.  We have "A Practical Wedding" for that. Go argue your  heads off about the WIC over there.  I just don't want that to be the focus of my writing life anymore. I can't let it be.  It's driving me nuts.  And there is no way that I can just let certain comments roll off my back without defending my opinions. So not commenting back or not caring what readers say wouldn't be a fix at all.

So I really had to step back and consider what value I have in this industry. Where do I belong, if anywhere at all?  And after much consideration, I concluded that the only thing that sets me apart from other wedding sites is my comical approach.  Then I realized something else: the comical posts are actually my favorite posts to write. Hands down. The funny posts are the ones that make my heart sing, and what make me excited to get up and blog the next day. The Miss Crack Pipe posts, the Hipster Bride Style Guides, my wacky DIY projects, reviewing insane push-up bras, ideas for revamping old traditions, the posts about the many ways to get wasted at one's own wedding...  these posts are what set my blog apart from the rest. And thankfully, these posts are what get me hard, what get my blood pumping when I'm writing them.  Not the "Oh fuck, I'm going to get railed in the comments for this post, and have to spend the whole day defending myself, I can just feeeel it" kind of posts. And looking back, perhaps I should have shut my opinionated mouth and just stuck to the funny... probably would have saved me lots of heartache, brainspace, and time spent arguing and defending myself.*  Alas... You live and learn, no? Le sigh... but the good kind of le sigh.

And one last thing: For the record, having a "strong female voice" or being "slightly left of center" in this industry doesn't necessarily mean you are a bitch, or hate on those who are more or less traditional than you. So please stop perceiving us that way. 'Cause if this industry doesn't lighten up and adopt a serious fuckin sense of humor in the next year, then I'm out. Like Ryan Seacrest OUT. Lance Bass OUT even. All I'm syain.

*Not to say those discussion haven't shaped me, and taught me valuable wedding and life lessons--because they 100%, hands down did.