Sunday, July 11, 2010

I Just Had a Complete Meltdown

Like balling my eyes out, screaming, punching the wall kind of shit. 

I cannot even fathom trying to make this post all pretty and shiny -- so I'm just going to type. Bear with me.

1. The venue: We showed up there today and they decided to permanently alter the layout of the inside without telling us. They added walls -- WALLS.  Walls that divide the dinner area.  Walls that will certainly change the layout of the tables and cocktail tables.  Secondly, we were supposed to have our guests enter the ceremony garden through venue's gallery that's right nextdoor. WELL. Surprise, surprise: They fucking sold that gallery to some other asshole, walled it up, and now there's no entrance from that building into the garden.  We have to enter through the place we will have the tables -- which also fucks up our aisle design for the ceremony. I understand this is difficult to get without a visual, but trust me, these changes to the venue -- CHANGES THAT WE WERE NOT TOLD ABOUT -- are fucking up our original plan. Oh, and did I mention that our contact at the venue -- the person who is supposedly running the show became a new person, then that person became another new person, and then THAT person became a totally different person -- AGAIN, without them telling us. And without a smooth transition between employees. I didn't know til today who our new contact was.  I don't even know who the fuck we're supposed to go to with questions or concerns. They never answered my emails. Every time I would visit the venue they didn't know I even had an appointment (which we did. every time). I am so fucking frustrated right now I could rip someone's nuts off with one swift pull.

The area we would have chosen to marry in:
Directly to the right of this area is where the guests now have to enter -- meaning we would have to have the world's shortest aisle, or we would have to make it swoop around, which could end up looking fucking ridiculous. 

Here are the options for areas we could place the "altar" (so that we can have an actual wall):
Still cool, but damn. I had my heart set om the first pic.
The other corner. The cement wall isn't my favorite... but it will do.
Minus the grill, I really dig the rustic looking grate with the vine flower backdrop on the brick.
It is a damn good thing Mike and I are having a flexible layout for the venue -- because I will tell you right now, had we NOT been able to be flexible, there would be some hell to pay.  And let's not forget they have other weddings booked there that may NOT be as flexible as we are. So if the venue wants to treat their clients who paid fucking good money to rent their space out with respect, then they need to make dam sure they TELL US WHEN THEY CHANGE SOMETHING WE ALREADY PAID FOR.

On to shit problem #2:

2. My dress. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. There are three problems I am having with it (only three you say? FML). The first is that my boobs FLY out of the dress -- just by lifting my arms.  One raise of the hand and it's hello, titties.  Which is so not cool. And I just tried out some double stick tape I got at Victoria's Secret, and that shit ain't holding in nothin. Secondly, the waist of the dress cuts into my skin more than I would like. And finally, the back of the dress at the waist bubbles up and it won't lay flat. I am livid. I am crazy out of my mind upset that I didn't take care of these problems earier, at my last fitting, but in the moment, everything about the dress felt ok. So I honestly thought it fit nicely. But now I am CERTAIN it needs to be altered. There is no way I am walking down that aisle in fear of my tits popping out. Nope. Sorry. Won't do it.

There's so much more shit that I am worried about and need to vent about, but I am exhausted, and need to not write about weddings anymore right now.

Sorry for the blogdump. Hope everyone else's wed-planning is going better than mine.
Posted by Britt Hollenbrau at 8:40 PM
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21 comments:

  1. I know this isn't much consolation, but the same thing (problem #1) happened to me... the venue changed about a million rules (without telling us, even though we had signed a previous rule sheet contract) and they cycled us through several different "venue/event managers" including a last minute switch two days before the wedding... I was infuriated but it ended up being just fine.

    Hopefully it all gets worked out for you!
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  2. Oh doll!
    I really hope that everything works out...I cannot believe your venue did that to you though...I would have ripped ballz off right there in the venue if that happened to me...

    xo
    loveyou
    liz
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  3. holy shit, that venue nonsense is unbelievable! very cool of y'all (and smart) to be flexible, but that's just ridiculous. As for the dress, I hope you can get it all fixed up to your liking -- surely there must be a way to contain your top so you can dance (and walk) without fear. Kick ass and take names! You can dooooo itttt! thinking good thoughts for you...
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  4. Fuuuuck. I hate them for you and I will totally turn my venue hatred on your venue and kick their asses from here to the ocean. I am so sorry. This is insane and insanely stressful, but you have to believe that it's going to work out somehow and that 80% of the guests will be none the wiser. You still have amazing ceremony choices, even if they weren't your first choice (I love all those ceremony-spot photos, and you'll be so happy about the getting married part you won't notice at all). And you, luckily, have flexibility for dinner and an awesome DOC to help make dinner work, somehow. But damn, I hate them for you. And damn, cry away because this is insane.

    Also, the dress is a gorgeous dress and just needs a little fixing. Even the boobs can be dealt with and dress alterations happen at the very last second all the time. It's awful because it was supposed to be done already and you have a bazillion other things on your plate, but it will get fixed in time and will look amazing. You love the dress, and it will get fixed in time. Hold onto that.

    And for everything else, I'm sending hugs and mental gallons of mental booze to make it all better.
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  5. Hi. I am getting married in the same venue and I had a meltdown too when I recently found out too. Not acceptable. Let me know if you need to share more - we are in the same boat.

    ozzy
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  6. Breathe.

    My reception venue (restaurant) remodeled and I lost the space I had planned to have the DJ/dance floor, I renegotiated with them for less since THEY changed the contract by changing the space. Unlike other crap that happens in life, at the end of all this you'll still have the exact same outcome no matter what: You'll have a kick ass party with all of your favorite people and get to marry your dude. So again, BREATHE...it will all work out (and make them give you free shit in exchange for changing the contracted space).
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  7. Everything Becca said. It sucks so bad that your venue is doing this to you. And I would probably loose it on them for treating you so badly. But I do like your other ceremony background options and you'll figure out a way to make everything work.

    And I can imagine how frustrating this seem to be with your dress, but I promise, alterations can solve them. And alterations bigger than the ones you need can be done on short notice.

    So glass or two of wine and maybe a bath might help for now. Get some sleep tonight and face it afresh tomorrow.
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  8. i am so sorry to hear about this annoyingness with our venue dress. Hopefully you can get the dress fixed and knowing you just from reading your blog, I get the sense your wedding could be in the Walmart parking lot and it would still rock everyone's sock off

    good luck with everything!
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  9. * I meant your venue/ dress
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  10. Use your DOC! She should be able to offer good options for dealing with the venue changes (which are SHIT and totally ridiculous). I used my coordinator when I couldn't even talk to people without losing my shit. I personally love the vine/brick option. From a photo standpoint, it would be a great backdrop.

    As for the dress...I totally understand. I had to make last-minute alterations the DAY OF THE WEDDING. There were these interior straps that made the dress bunch in the back (like yours, it just wouldn't lay flat) so I ended up taking a risk and just cutting them out.

    You will look beautiful and the wedding is going to ROCK and try (emphasis on TRY because I know it's impossible) not to stress. It's going to be awesome no matter what! We can't wait!
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  11. Wow...such bullshit about the venue. And 20-some days out? Thanks, venue assholes. I will say, I do like the rustic grate thing as a backdrop. REALLY like it. And I agree w/ others, call up that DOC and have her help you. 20 days out I told my DOC that I was no longer willing to communicate w/ our venue coordinator and asked if she would. It was SO nice.

    Dress: wrangle those boobies!! Ok, in all seriousness, just get some Nippies and if your boobs pop out at least there will be a bit of sparkle! But really, I'm sure you can go back and get that figured out. And then on your wedding day you'll look gorgeous and rock the shit out of it :)

    (ps, if you need to have like 30 meltdowns between now and W day, that's totally fine and you should totally take advantage of it. This is like, the only time in your life it's allowed.)
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  12. What Karen said. Dig out your contract. Negotiate. Hammer them down, because it is so NOT acceptable that they just changed the venue like that and let you find out at the very last minute. Also, with the dress, go to the tailor and beg some last minute alterations - if they know it is for a wedding...

    Finally, take a deep breath and calm down because your wedding day is gonna rock anyway!
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  13. Time to channel my mother and smack some heads with that crazy old concept "CUSTOMER SERVICE."

    1. Call venue. Demand to speak to manager. Explain situation. Explain unhappiness. Explain bad employee behavior. Explain that you write a wedding blog and frequently do Yelp reviews. Then say this: "We have already given a nonrefundable deposit, and frankly cannot possibly change to another venue at this point. However, this situation is unacceptable. What can you do about this to make us feel that we've made a good choice in venue, so that we can report honestly that we've had a good experience?" This should be followed by either a discount or some free booze. If it isn't, go higher in the managerial structure.

    2. Take the dress back and get it altered again. They should totally do that for you, since it doesn't fit properly. Good alterations means it fits just as well at home as in the store, simple as that.

    HANG IN THERE! xoxoxo
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  14. P.S.--NO BEGGING OR FEELING BAD ABOUT ASKING FOR THEM TO FIX THESE SITUATIONS. These are things YOU HAVE ALREADY PAID FOR.
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  15. I've got to agree with the rest of the gang. This blows and all of your anger is deserved. I would also demand additional services or at least a partial refund, even if it's not stated in the contract. And wear a suit and use big words while you do it. People simply take you more seriously.

    As for the dress, it can be altered in this time period. If you're still worried about the peep show, a halter strap should be a really easy add-on that should keep the girls in check enough to save flashing Grandpa Artie out on the dance floor.

    I'm really surprised and upset for you about the venue though... I know you've been singing their praises left right and sideways. I hope they realize what a disservice they'll be doing to their business if they don't make this right for you ASAP. And as for a spot you're not keen on, you can buy those fold out/accordian paper streamers from the dollar store or Mexican party/crap store and hang them in front of the wall (gaffer's tape is your friend here). Instant whimsy and ugly spot covering for cheaps.
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  16. Ohhh my goodness, I feel your pain on the dress part! It took us FOUR fittings to get the damn thing to fit...every time I lifted my arms, my itty bitty boobies flew out...I'm like WTF?!?!? I don't know if this would work for your dress, but if you go to the seamstress, ask for a tension thread to be put in the top; it will pull the neckline down so it sits on your skin and won't let your boobs pop out. It did the trick for mine at least!
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  17. If you're still nervous about your dress on the day, I recommend getting some topstick. It's the only thing I could count on back when I was doing dance and was always worried my boobs would fly out in the middle of a leap. Topstick is actually wig tape, meant to hold wigs and toupe's on people's bald heads but it works well on boobs. You can usually find it at beauty supply stores (Naime's, Cinema Secrets, etc).
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  18. Girrrrl, I'm so sorry... we're having similar issues with our wedding planning. People saying one thing, then completely doing another. I feel your pain. Hang in there. xoxo.
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  19. Bollocks.

    Dress I can't help with just get thee to a seamstress.

    Venue. Sort of love the cement wall, could you take some chalk to it to uber cool it up?

    Or I do love the grate, just chuck in a few flowers and it will look even more awesome.

    Tell the venue to suck it up, any change to arrangements should be at least passed on to the clients.

    Good luck sweetpea x
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  20. Oh I feel you. I finally broke down & had my 1st meltdown last night. At least they didn't up & fuckup my venue though. NOT COOL. You should def. get some kind of kickback from them. It's basically no longer venue you booked.

    I'd bring that dress back to the seamstress with the quickness & tell her to fix it.

    For the record though - I totally dig the grate & vines.
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  21. The dress can be fixed. Go back to her and figure out the options.

    Shoot the venue nonsense is insane. I kinda like that cool wire backdrop though. Sigh I wish I could do more, but come on the venue has gotta give you what you want and it can still happen! hugs lady!
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