Get ready wedding blog readers, there’s a new sheriff in town. The date of our vaunted nuptials is fast approaching, and there simply isn’t time for any more of this froo-froo “oh they turned our venue into a toxic waste dump” nonsense. I will now be commanding this wedding, and I intend to rule with strength and with terror.
Bowie Bride has taken the lead throughout the planning of our wedding. She has done excellent work in the creative and organizational realm. She has a coherent vision for our wedding that I love. She is wonderful and intelligent and sexy and blah blah blah she’s not in charge anymore. The time for creativity and lace and bouquets is over. Dead as disco. Now it’s time for construction, logistics, and pain.
See, BB isn’t just excellent at the creative stuff needed to make this wedding work—I’m terrible at it. Take colors, for instance. She finds certain combinations of colors that look good together, and is able to compare those combinations to one another in order to determine the “best” one. I can’t. I’m attempting to think of a color combination that works together and am drawing a complete blank. Blue, gray and yellow? Green, Orange and white? (I cheated and looked at my T-shirt and Snapple bottle, respectively, how’d I do?)
See, to me when I think of colors, I think of this:
And when somebody says to me “blue orange and white are a good/bad combination,” I think to myself “what is it about the photons at 450 nanometers wavelength instead of 600 nanometers wavelength on the spectrum of visible light? What property makes them look good together?” Which, clearly, is no way to plan a wedding.
Fortunately, wedding planning is over. Don’t worry your pretty little head, Bowie Bride, the cavalry is here. I had to smile and nod when you talked to me about design decisions, but I feel physics in my bones. Constructing light installations? No problem. Building a photo booth? Child’s play. Creating an audio setup blending I-pod, videos, live music, and spoken word? Laughable. Beer bottle chandeliers? Hanging aluminum can lanterns? Bench seating? Public transportation? Figuring out how to get all that crafty crap in and out? How to remove staples from your groomsman’s face? Stay tuned.
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