Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Titty Tape

My boobs are having difficulty staying in my wedding dress.  And since I dance like a crazed maniac, I need to make certain my girls don't prematurely fly out of their holster before the huzz and I head back to the hotel (haaaaay).  So I presented this question to the Twitter Universe, and I got a lot fo great suggestions. But my favorite suggestion came from @senseicorykun. He wrote:
"my g-cup wife uses the 'scotch foam mounting squares.' Listed as "permanent." Get the large, avoid the nipples."
I laughed my ass off at this tweet and immediately proceeded to google "scotch foam mounting squares".  This is what came up:
Here's what these suckers can do: "Foam Mounting Squares can be used on wood, ceramic tile, gloss and semi-gloss painted walls, glass, and refrigerators."

Well. Now they'll be used on BOOBS too. So go ahead and add that shit to your product description, Scotch.  Hopefully I will be able to "avoid" the nipples when taking these things off by the end of the night. 
Posted by Britt Hollenbrau at 10:26 AM
Labels: ,

16 comments:

  1. Hilarious!! But I bet it works... :)
    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow that is an amazing idea. I still hadn't figured out my boob situation by the wedding day. I had tried five million bras and sticky cups and everything but my dress was just too skin ass tight. My last resort was a pair of VS pasties I had but they made my nips look like UFOs under my dress. Finally, I decided to fuck it and peeled off the pasties in front of poor Daniel who was photographing me at the time. I hope he isn't scarred for life. The girls were out all night and they had a blast!
    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow, you'll have to let us know if it really works! I could have used something on my wedding day because my stupid dress was too big, and I had to make my sister tighten the corset several times. You might want to make sure you have nail polish remover of something with you...just in case these don't come off at the end of the night, ouch!
    ReplyDelete
  5. Haha, this opens up a whole new window in Scotch's marketing department! Nice.
    ReplyDelete
  6. I just died. This is hilarious.
    ReplyDelete
  7. Lucky man with a G-Cup wife :)
    ReplyDelete
  8. I've used Hollywood Fashion Tape before. Probably not quite as strong as Scotch, but it's worked for me!

    http://www.hollywoodfashiontape.com/
    ReplyDelete
  9. Don't forget to wear your Bluebs, so they don't come close to the nips!
    ReplyDelete
  10. I thought that's what they were for?
    ReplyDelete
  12. Great idea! You can also find double stick 3M foam tape like that in rolls at home depot in case you want a solid line of sticky. I haven't used it to keep me in dresses but it held my xmas motion light control box on a brick wall outside for 3 yrs without falling off... I had to pull it off when I moved.
    ReplyDelete
  13. Lol! Make sure and take something with you to help remove them though, or it could get painful
    ReplyDelete
  14. This post is hilarious. Just make sure you don't get too drunk and fall in a gutter. You may just get stuck there!
    ReplyDelete
  15. If you're serious about getting some lingerie that will hold "your girls" in (I'm a D cup and dance regularly!), check out Frederick's of Hollywood (full confession, I monitor a blog a for them), but they have awesomely cool options for rock 'n' roll brides - corseted type things etc. The blog is "Oh Yes, I Do!" Do you do contests on Bowie bride - am sure I could get you some cool stuff to give away. If not, no biggie. LOVE your blog, Bowie and your wedding sensibility!
    ReplyDelete
  16. @Kim
    thanks so much for the blog love! I would be thrilled to do a giveaway with "Oh Yes I do!" I think the blog is fabulous. Email me at bowiebride@gmail.com -- or I will find your contact info on your blog and email you. Whoever is fastest! ;)
    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)