Don't Hate Us Because We're Creative

Hi. You all have seen Lauren & JP's amazing wedding video, right?  If not, have a look at its epic awesomeness:

Lauren + JP from Matt Odom on Vimeo.

Now I know this video went viral over 3 weeks ago, and I'm a little late to the game, but I felt I needed to say my piece regarding some of the hateful and hurtful reactions the video received.    Lauren posted a slew of them on her personal blog, I Love You Much, right here.  And after reading the appalling comments she re-posted, I felt I had no choice but to write an open letter to all the haters. So to all you assholes that felt the need to take time out of your day just to be hurtful towards a loving couple who worked very hard to create a personalized, handcrafted wedding... well, quite frankly, you disgust me. And anyone who called their video a fake representation of who they are as people and what brings them joy, needs to wipe the smug look of jealousy off their faces and keep their comments to themselves.

After reading Lauren's post regarding all of the hurtful comments she received, I searched around the Internet for a few articles written about the video, and surprise, surprise, I was met with more hate.  For example, I read this quote from this site:

"So why not pay some hipster DJ to mix up and edit a video of your wedding and turn it into some weirdo music video? Sure! Because you don’t want to remember the day as it WAS. You want to remember it the way that some guy in skinny jeans mixed it in his uber hip studio (or mom’s garage) a few days after the wedding. Right?"

First of all, Person who wrote this terrible bit of snarky slop, do you know anything about Lauren and JP's handcrafted wedding?  Did you ever visit Lauren's blog?  No?  You didn't read about their wedding from the beginning like I have? That's too bad... because if you had read even a lick of her blog, you'd know that Lauren is one helluva talented artist who designed their entire wedding from start to finish. All those cranes and paper hearts? She made them. Their gorgeous invitations, and the confetti, and the rad guest book? She made all that.  Oh, and the whole design of the wedding from start to finish?  Yeah, Lauren did that too. If you read Lauren's blog, you'd also know that Lauren and JP are very creative people.  They weren't trying to be cool, or trying to look hip, or trying to make their wedding video go viral. No. That's utter bullshit. The video they made is WHO THEY ARE AND WHAT THEY LOVE.  It is their aesthetic. Their creativity. Their vision.  And if that's the way in which they choose to document their wedding, then don't hate on it because it's more creative than anything you could come up with. Just because your wedding video doesn't focus on personal creativity, as well as, showcase the joy of your wedding day, doesn't mean their video or your video is any more or less special.  And for those that negatively judged their wedding video having never even planned and executed a wedding yourself, you're just stupid and uninformed. And not to mention, why the fuck are you watching wedding videos in the first place? 

I'm sure Lauren and JP would agree with me when I say that all weddings are beautiful and special and joyful -- no matter what aesthetic a couple has or chooses to employ.  But since when did being creative and doing things different than the norm translate into "we're so much cooler than you"? Which begs me to ask the question, "What part of Lauren and JP's wedding video says, 'We're better than you?'"  Because that is the way in which many commenters reacted after viewing.  These negative viewers saw their creativity as a threat.  As if their video made them feel last in the race to be cool.  Which is not the point of what a wedding video is.  Lauren and JP are not going to look back at this video years from now just to say, "Wow. We were so edgy and hip and alternative. No one was as cool at their wedding as we were." No fucking way will they say that. Instead, they will say, "Wow. We had an amazing day filled with love and joy and the people we care about most in this world. Oh, and damn, I love this song. Let's put on that old Passion Pit record and fall in love all over again."

And for what it's worth, this is what I see when I watch their wedding video: I see passion. Love. Happiness. I see celebration at every turn. Confetti, running with glee, friends with linked arms, playful cake smashing, kissing, and dancing... lots of dancing... the sweaty-fun kind that keeps you on the dance floor for three hours straight.  It's just an added bonus that their video looks cool. And professional. And is set to a rad song. One that makes my heart leap every time I hear it. And if that reaction isn't what a wedding video should evoke, then I'm the fucking Easter Bunny.

I feel very strongly about this topic in general, actually.  Lauren and JP's video was just the catalyst to get me to write about it.  I consider our wedding similar in part to Lauren and JP's wedding, in that we too incorporated our own personal creativity into every wedding-related decision we made.  Our pictures and our wedding video haven't been made public yet, but when they are made public, I worry that we too will be hated on, and that our wedding will be described as a "hipster wedding with all the indie trimmings and no heart to back it" -- because I can see how it could appear as such to anyone who doesn't know me or my husband personally.  Don't get me wrong, everyone has a right to their opinion, but to assume we would base important decisions about our public commitment to one another on whether or not we "looked cool doing it," is just plain ridiculous.  My husband and I have wildly creative (and crazy) minds, and like fuck were we going to suppress that while planning the most personal day of our lives, and nor should anyone else.  So I wonder... will people view the creativity and "uniqueness" or our wedding as insincere?  Or as 'trying to be cool'?  The only argument I can come up with for this type of reaction would be the fact that Lauren and I have blogs that people read, and since we showcase our very personal wedding plans, pictures, videos, etc, on said blogs, people could think we based all our decisions on how 'hip' they would make us and our weddings appear in the eyes of our audience.

Here's a small example from our wedding that could get us written off as 'hipsters who think we're better than everyone else'. Our venue was an art gallery that showcased a gajillion hipster-esque naked ladies on the walls -- artwork that would certainly land our wedding on the snarky pages of HipsterRunoff.com (read their whole hateful-comment inducing post on Lauren & JP here).  When I first saw this array of nude artwork, I said, "Wow. Stunning work. And extra bonus points for built in decor!"  I certainly did not say this: "Dude. This artwork will make us look SO edgy and hip when our guests see it.  In fact, it's gonna be so hip that it will alienate them and make them feel they're not cool enough to be at our wedding. Yeah!"

Naked chicks artwork displayed on the walls of our venue means we're hip right? And that our wedding was so much more cool and meaningful and alternative because we refused to take down the edgy artwork, right? Right? (fuuuuuuck thaaaaat)

So for anyone about to give guff to me or to anyone else whose wedding dares to employ no holds barred personal expression, please... think before you react with such disgusting negativity. 'Cause we are people. People who just poured their souls into crafting a wedding from start to finish.  We're tired and emotionally drained as it is.  We don't need your bullshit too.