Say you are a bride who wants a huge fairytale wedding with the Vera gown, the big cake, the banquet reception, the whole nine, you get it.
But you only have $10,000 to spend. So you desperately turn to the Internet in search of ways to afford your dream wedding for such a "teeny" price.
But almost every budget wedding blog you find offers suggestions that you would
kinda-no-offense never dream of using. You appreciate the cheaper alternative suggestions, but ultimately the vintage/DIY/furnitureinaforest/backyard/fakeflowersfiesta isn't your bag. It's fairytale wedding or bust at this point. Then one day you stumble upon this blog. This DIY-centric, not very traditional, often times odd little wedding blog. And you see the results of my 12.5K wedding. And you gasp. No, not in delight, but in horror. You frown and say something like, "That?
That is all she could get for 12.5K? How will I ever have my dream fairytale wedding without having to compromise all the traditional trimmings on a just a 10K budget?!?! HAAAAALP!"
And no, I promise you this isn't a post geared toward hating on this type of reaction to our wedding. Absolutely not. I just have to ask you all a very sincere question...
...Do you think all our vintage/DIY/furnitureinaforest/backyard BBQ/fakeflowersfiesta-type budget wedding inspiration actually depresses these brides instead of inspires them? Do they look at our blogs and think there's no hope?
No, seriously.
I feel like my husband and I saved so much money just by steering far, far away from having to include every element of a traditional white wedding. And I imagine that would be a big turn off to a champagetaste/beerbudget bride who wants a fairytale wedding.
Thoughts?
And as a follow-up... Should there be more literature on how to successfully pull off a champagne taste, fairytale type wedding on a beer budget?
As a champagetaste/beerbudget bride (Hi,my blog is Beer Budget Bride's Musings) I LOVE your blog. I think the bottle chandeliers are amazing and would've loved them at my wedding and I would've used them in the backyard afterward (I just don't have the patience to make them). I sent the DIY Boutonniere post to an engaged friend and she loves them...
ReplyDeleteMostly I loved your whole attitude during your planning process. You kept it real and were always aware of what's important. Nobody gives a shit about the centerpieces, they wanna be there with you. Your bridesmaids don't care if you spend a lot of $$ on them, they're psyched to get cool presents that you thought a lot about & mean something to them & they're just happy that they're important enough to be a part of it all & that you let them pick what they wanna wear.
We may have different styles but was I scared of you? No way. Were you inspiring? Absof**inglutely! Did I luuurve how detailed and personal every aspect of your wedding was specifically geared to you & Mike?? HELL YES!
And the girls who would be "frightened" and "Ew, no way" - can shove it. That's not "taste/budget", that's f'ing Martha-Stewart-brainwashed.
This is a really thought-provoking question and I think the answer has many parts. Full-disclosure, I had a pretty significant wedding budget thanks to my over-indulgent grandmother, so I may not be the best person to answer this, But I'll add my 2 cents anyway.
ReplyDeleteTo start, I think any bride with a practical mindset can look at your blog and the billion other "vintage/DIY/furnitureinaforest/backyard BBQ/fakeflowersfiesta-type budget wedding blogs" and not be intimidated and/or scared. Personally, I enjoy reading your blog and blogs similar to yours, but I know that I just wouldn't have a wedding like that. Everyone has their own aesthetic. However, I know that I can come to your blog, read your thoughts, see your inspiration, and apply it to *my* aesthetic and my wedding.
I do think there is a lack of "traditional wedding/small budget" inspiration, but if those brides can't get at least something out of yours and others blogs, they need to take a step back and figure out what they want and WHY they want it in the first place.
My wedding was on a total beer budget. We spent under 10k for everything. But landing a reception space for 150 people for only $200 was a huge part of that. I had the big ball gown dress, catered food, open bar, custom cake and real flowers.
ReplyDeleteI saved by designing and printing my own invitations, had guests email their RSVP's to save on postage, made my own veil and pretty much did anything I could myself.
Another big save was the flowers. My made of honor paid for my flowers as a wedding gift. So that saved quite a bit.
That all being said, I adore what you did with your wedding! I loved how untraditional it was, and the creativity was freaking insane! It showed your personality, and will be something you and your guests will never forget. No one is going to be talking about how little you spent, they are going to be talking about how they got to attend a one of a kind wedding, one where they actually had fun!
I may not be the best person to ask about this since I am a graphic designer and am making all of our own paper stuff, my fiance is an artist so he is helping with signs, the logo, etc and my family has a gazillion connections for rentals, lighting and the cake. I would say I have more of a classic wedding in mind, but I am still doing a ton of DIY projects. I would say that there is not really a great resource for these types of DIY projects so it takes a lot of searching, but it is possible!
ReplyDeleteNo offense to anyone, but I am so sick of the blogs that only feature the vintage/backyard/forest/shabby chic weddings. While I think they are creative and cute and would be a fun wedding to go to, that is not what I personally would like for our wedding and just wish there was a bit of variety.
Britt, your blog doesn't scare me...I loved every minute of your wedding, especially the Kogi tacos, YUM! :)
I don't think anyone would be scared away, you had an awesome wedding and were so creative with how you saved money - I think it would only inspire them to do the same!
ReplyDeleteBritt, our weddings could not be more different. I'm having a very traditional wedding (church ceremony, reception at a banquet hall) and I love the hell out of your blog. I admit, when I found this blog, I was a little...taken aback. Your wedding plans were definitely something I'd never seen before. But I couldn't stop reading. You're a great writer and you and Mike had such amazing and creative ideas. I've never seen two people who were more obviously meant to marry each other.
ReplyDeleteI think any bride who has a sense of humor and an open mind would adore your blog, no matter what her wedding style is. And really, why would you want humorless and close-minded people reading here, anyway?
Hmm...REALLY good question.
ReplyDeleteI actually think that mainstream traditional wedding websites and magazines give lots of ideas on how to have a budget traditional fairytale wedding. They seem to talk LESS about having a casual taco truck reception and MORE about getting your Vera ballgown at half price during a Kleinfeld's blowout sale, for example.
When you think about it, there are only 2 ways to save $ on a wedding, and they both involve one or both of the following ways thinking creatively:
(1) Research and bargain hunt your butt off.
(2) Challenge traditional thinking about what a wedding should be.
Again, I think that traditional wedding media focuses mostly on item #1, so I don't quite feel like the kind of bride you're talking about doesn't have any resources. BUT their resources are primarily on the racks and on not online like those of the indie/ casual brides.
A great question, though. I hope traditional brides chime on this topic.
This is an interesting question. I never quite thought of it that way! Since I was a never-step-foot-in-a-princess-dress bride, hated overly arranged flowers and traditional wedding cake all the budget blogs fit my tastes nicely. I think it is totally doable though. I helped my friend throw a somewhat traditional wedding this past weekend - there was a princess dress but there were some vintage elements as well - all for under 12K. The budget-friendy, traditional bride won't be able to get that real Vera Wang but there are certainly fine designers with similar styles under $1000. And maybe she can't afford the country-side villa for 300 people but maybe a small, french restaurant for 65? Totally doable. This blog and those similar might not be the same aesthetic but they certainly lay down some thoughtful guidelines about how to have a personal wedding without spending a ridiculous amount of money.
ReplyDeleteInspiration is the key and it can come from all over. Would I want your beer bottle chandeliers? Not on your life. But the idea was sharp and interesting and YOU. What if it inspired a bride to use the ever-popular Mason Jar instead? Or wine bottles - or whatever? It's the inspiration in and of itself that I think pushes our blogs along.
ReplyDeleteInspiration is what it is - no matter the cost. I think for creative folks, it comes easier - how to budget-i-fy a pricey look. Others need help, so I say just do your thing. You never know, you might inspire a fairy tale seeking bride to turn it down a notch or twelve.
champagne brides with beer budgets need to be SMACKED into reality.
ReplyDeletea truly successful wedding is a trial and error process of testing your limitations (both mentally and financially) AND showing your personality. that said... if you can't do both, suck it up and pay up, i sayz.
You can absolutely do both without paying through the nose. I was a champagne bride with a beer budget out of necessity. My ex's family were the country club living in the hills set (and so were their guests), while my family was a lower-middle-class family with a recently laid off dad and a public-school-teacher mom. My fiance and I were in college and our families both of traditional mindsets, so my parents were footing the bill.
ReplyDeleteMy mom and I worked very hard to create a beautiful wedding that wouldn't look "budget," "diy," or "handcrafted," (so that I wouldn't offend the inlaws) but would be.
We scrimped and crafted and bargained-shopped our hearts out. We chose a date around a holiday so that the church and the ballroom at the historic hotel would be already decorated for the holiday to save money on flowers and decor. I picked the cheapest dress I could find that didn't look cheap. It looked like I was wearing my grandmother's dress, which everyone loved.
My mom and I made all of the decorations, favors, and the cake decorations. We went with a buffet dinner instead of a served dinner, and served drinks instead of an open bar.