Focus On Shit That Matters.

So yeah we're getting married 4 months from today. Cue extreme ball grab-age.  As we inch closer and closer to July, I find my feelings oscillating between "We're right on track" and "We're knee-deep in shit." I will say, however, that this final stage of the planning process has been the most "exciting"... simply because we get to buy all the shit we've been researching all these months. And our vision is finally starting to come to life. BUT, now is also the time where we have to stop talkin the talk... and start walkin the walk. I have some high-ass expectations for this wedding. And why wouldn't I? It's costly. It has taken a year to plan. It's an expression of us as a couple and as creative individuals, and oh yeah, it's like the day we vow to spend our lives together. So I'd say that high expectations are in order. Although, I will say that if everything goes to shit, but we're married in the end, I'll of course be elated as ever.  But at that point I will *also* say, "Ok, why the hell did we just blow a ton of cash and jeopardize our sanity for the last year if all we wanted to do was say vows in front of our loved ones?"

Like many other engaged people planning their weddings, I too at first fell victim to the dreaded adage, "But it's our wedding, we HAVE to include [insert tradition I don't necessarily understand but think we need]."  Eventually I got tired of that phrase. And THANK BALLS because I would have driven myself insane. Truly. Because there is no fucking way you can include all the elements of a traditional wedding for 150 people in Los Angeles for under $10,000.  Sorry, not possible. We've tried. So we had to scale back in certain areas, which in turn forced us to focus on shit that actually matters. Which, quite honestly, was the BEST thing that could have happened to us during this process. The realization that you don't NEED to spend your hard-earned on a tradition you don't necessarily connect with will SET.YOU.FREE.

Here is what I have learned these past 8 months of planning. So to the freshly engaged: pay attention.  You may not like what you read next, but it may help you in the end.

1. You don't need to buy your dress 12 months before the wedding.  More likely than not, you are going to feel regret. Even if it's slight. You will feel it. Wanna know why? Because the wedding blogosphere is filled with lots n lots of pretty pictures. And unique, oh-my-balls indie designers that you've never even heard of. Or you'll be enticed by the next hot designer on Etsy. And then your favorite designers like Anthropologie will come out with a bridal line out of no where, but since you've already bought your dress, you can't even tempt yourself.  It would be too cruel. And if you're like me, your bride-style is going to surely change as you go through this life-changing process that is planning a wedding. And as a result, the ivory, heavy satin mermaid gown you've been dreaming about since you got engaged isn't exactly in line with your current dreams of how you want to look on your wedding day.  I have grappled with this dress issue for months now, and I think I am finally starting to recognize that I *definitely* should have waited to buy my gown. I bought it then because I didn't think I could get the dress I wanted for under a $1000. Then I found the Watters dress for $799.00 and jumped at the chance at buying it because I thought I wouldn't have any other viable options. Boy was I wrong. So now I am tasked with the notion of trying to sell my dress, and replace it with another. Don't worry, I have my replacement in line and it is going to be more "me" than I could have ever imagined for myself. But it's still going to be a pain in the ass to sell the original one.
2. If your budget is tight, fuck the dessert. Or wait til the last minute and pick up some pies from Costco.  If your wedding is going to be anything like ours, you may realize that the time during the reception when everyone is supposed to eat said dessert, that they will be too drunk or too busy dancing to even care, or even notice.  Fuck, I'd be happy with passing around a bowl of Skittles. At least that would be portable and dance-floor friendly. Sure, maybe you'll miss a great photo-op of you and your hunny cutting the cake. But ultimately, your sanity and your thin budget will thank you in the end.  And I promise you won't give two shits.  I could care less about the dessert right now. I told Mike to ask the front office ladies at his school to make us some homemade soul food desserts, like sweet potato pie and peach cobbler. And they'd do it for cheap. So there ya go. Dessert: DONE.
3. Don't feel like you need to provide everyone with a sit-down dinner. Sit-down formal dinner receptions have been the way of weddings for years, and therefore us soon-to-be-marrieds think we need to provide that too... even if our budget doesn't allow us to throw down that kind of cash.  We were originally in this boat... thinking we had to feed people plated dinner at a table with an assigned seat.  But in the end all we really wanted was for the food to taste good, be authentic, and showcase some local LA flavor.  So that's where the idea to get a taco truck was born.  I realize this option isn't open to everyone. But there were many options other than formal catering companies. You just have to get creative. I found an authentic Mexican joint that charges 6 bucks a person for an unlimited amount of the most delicious tacos you will ever eat. Sure, your guests will have to walk their asses over to the serving spit, but in the end who gives a fuck?  'Cause when more people are up on their feet and mingling, the better the overall party will be. And your single friends will thank you for the forced social interaction.
4. Don't feel like you need to provide everyone with chairs. For the ceremony AND for the reception. I know that sounds nuts. But listen up. You got young people coming to the wedding? They can stand, or sit in the grass. Got old people coming? They get a chair. DONE.  Not only will this encourage a more mix n mingle type of reception, it will also save you an assload of money. I decided it was more worth it to me to get 80 pretty wooden folding chairs, than 150 plastic chairs that will be used for only a portion of the whole wedding. Seriously, any time I have been to a wedding where the dinner was served buffet-style, I was barely in my seat the whole night. So for our wedding, we just got a few extra cocktail tables and are going to use the lounges already in the venue for extra seating.  And, oh yeah, hi, we're serving street food, so our guests will be eating with their hands anyway.
5. There is NO NEED FOR SAVE THE DATE CARDS.  Email your guests. Tell 'em on Facebook for fuck's sake. But goodGOD do not spend time and money on this if you don't have it. Every Save the Date card I have received in the mail in the past literally told me information I already knew. Chances are, if you're inviting these people to your wedding, they probably already know the date, or have asked you personally in advance so that they can arrange travel plans early should they need to. And lookie there, you've just saved yourself a $100+ and your guests won't even notice its absence.
6. No one gives a shit about favors.  That's all I got.
7. Quality of the booze does not matter. People like free booze, and will forgive you if it isn't high end or top shelf.  We got boxed wine that had a great rating (89 points). But since it was boxed, it was cheaper. And since it was purchased during Bevmo's 5 cent sale, it was HELLA cheaper.  I recently attended a party where we blindly drank red wines and ranked them. And surprisingly, the 2 Buck Chuck generally came in 1st or 2nd place.  But if you are totally opposed to serving boxed or Chuck for the whole night, just serve the slightly better stuff first, and pull out the cheap when everyone is too loaded to even notice.  That's our plan. Homemade delicious American Pale Ale first. Boxed wine second. And if you're feeling really dirrrty, go for the Triple Crown and whip out the shots of Popov at the very end of the night.
8. You don't need an 80-piece invitation. One sheet with all the right info will do the trick, and it will save you a balls-load of cash. And seriously no need for reply cards.  Give 'em a website they can RSVP on. Guests: INVITED.
9. If you can't afford a wedding ring to accompany your engagement ring, it's not the end of the world. Get a wedding band when you can and just keep wearing your engagement ring til then. No one will even notice. And if your budget is shaping up to be tighter than originally planned, this is one of those things you can let go of. I know it's a hard one to let go of because it's a great excuse to blow some dough on shiny pretty jewelry, but it's O.K to hold off if the current budget doesn't allow it.  I am literally waiting til the last minute to see if I can get a wedding band. Otherwise, my engagement ring is rollin solo.
10. Spend the bigger dolla on what is most important. For us, that was the venue. The original price of our venue was nearly 1/3 of the budget. But the venue choice allowed us to save costs elsewhere. For example, being able being able to bring in our own food and booze has been HUGE. There was no way we could have afforded those pre-fixed per head prices that hotels and other establishments charge.

Everyone's "Shit That Doesn't Matter List" is going to be different.  Our list is simply an example of what *we* were willing to give up, or scale back on.  There are many ways of doing it, that maybe won't mirror our list at all. But the point of this post is to get you to think deeper about what you're actually spending your budget on and why. 

What's on your "Shit That Doesn't Matter List"?

Adventures in Stylized E-Sessions With Mike + Britt!

I have a lil secret, sexxxy readers. My sweet Michael and I got to model in a lil photoshoot... with the fabulous and fearless Holly Steen of Cakes and Kisses Photography...  Me-oww! Holly brought along her wicked awesome art director/stylist, April Liaez de Brimer and wedding goddess creative coordinator, Wendy Ramos, (who is also our D.O.C.!)  Mike and I got to pick the concept, and what immediately came to our minds was none other than Griffith Park Observatory. We met 8 years ago in Astronomy 101. We were lab partners, and often studied outside of class together at the campus IHOP.  And since IHOP doesn't necessarily scream "stylized 1950's built-in charm," we went with a more fitting location. Part 1 of the shoot (yes, there are TWO parts. Hence the plural word in the title: adventureS) took place at the actual observatory at sunset. The place was hella crowded, but damn was the weather fine... It was a clear day in Los Angeles and we just let love rule. And by "let love rule" I mean make-out. In front of all these people. In front of a camera. But once we got over the "Oh, hi, Eastern European Bus Tour" awkwardness, we just let the kisses rip. And it was fun. There's something oddly empowering about P.D.A.'s when you don't care if anyone's looking. Here's a teaser:

Deliciousness, right? As for PART 2... we waited til the sun went down, drove our lil crew to the parking lot of The Greek, changed outfits, and brought out a whole new flavor... as Holly calls it, "A Dark Side of the Moon" flavor.  (There was literally a full moon that night, by the way. How fitting is that?) April brought this rad Alice in Wonderland 50's petticoat dress that I thankfully was able to squeeze into (those ladies in the 50's had to suck.it.in. whew!). Then each of us pointed our car lights toward set, and Holly just shot away, sorta guerrilla style in the dirt n stuff. She's down for anything. It was AWESOME. Check it:

We couldn't be more thrilled with the results. Holly, April and Wendy are a blast. They really just let us be "us." And that was super-important because it is intimidating as hell to dress up and take pictures in front of people. And that's exactly what we're going to be doing on our wedding day... so it's fantastic practice. And to top it off, it's fun... and we have these fabulous pictures of us that capture such an exciting time in our lives. Smiles all around.

All photos credited to the beautiful Holly Steen of Cakes and Kisses Photography.  Thanks so much, Holly. We are so grateful for this experience.  Can't wait to show off the rest!

Stay tuned for more, lovely readers...

Announcing the Winner of the Camera Renter Package!

Thank you to everyone who entered the Camera Renter giveaway!  We have randomly chosen a winner.... AND THAT LUCKY WINNER IS:

Elizabeth Seever

Congratulations, Elizabeth!! The awesome folks at Camera Renter will be contacting you shortly to hook you up! 

But don't worry, friends. You all get a lil somethin' somethin' too... Camera Renter has generously offered a $100 OFF "Thank You" Discount to all my readers just for being awesome. Visit CameraRenter.com. Choose your package. And upon check-out enter the code: cmr100.

We will also be emailing all the entrants a very special (and very generous) "Thanks for Entering" discount, so stay tuned for that sexy email!  A huge thanks to Camera Renter, and to all my amazing readers who made this giveaway possible! I LOVE YOU!

Are You Single & Attending My Wedding? Prepare to Get Laid.

I have been wanting to share my secret weapon with you guys for a while now... And by secret weapon, I mean my partner in crime... KATE, aka Titfield Thunderbolt. She's my writing partner, my dear friend, AND quite possibly the funniest person I have ever met. She is OF COURSE part of our wedding party, Team Zissou... so I thought this would be a great place for you to meet her... AND she came up with a series for this blog that I feel EVERYONE can relate to: "How to Successfully Take Advantage of Attending a Wedding as a Single Person"... So take it away, Titfield...

The Daily Sex Crapshoot of a Single Lady: Wedding Edition

by

Titfield Thunderbolt

These days, brides have to-do lists for their to-do lists. If you don’t know already, the Bowie Bride is a bona fide robot. This almost-married lady is living the lives of three women and doesn’t skip a beat. I wonder if she actually sleeps or rather charges herself on an iPod dock while crafting homemade lanterns.

But let me tell you why Bowie Bride isn’t just Wonder Woman but a Wonder Friend. Even though on the one day she’s supposed to think only of herself and her chosen life partner, Bowie Bride has remembered to think of why her wedding is a special event for everyone. I’m specifically talking about the single friends.

Future brides and grooms, I know it’s easy to get wrapped up in the decorations, the cake, the relatives you need to keep separate, the pair of underwear that isn’t going to ride up your butt (if underwear is even on the agenda), training the dog/cat to be the ring bearer, the list goes on. But what you must not forget, is that this wonderful day of celebrating the beginning of a beautiful life partnership... is also a day your single friend can get some action. Think about it, your single friend will be looking his/her best, be a little/lot drunk, and the very nature of weddings provide built-in romance. There are endless possibilities for lovin when Patron shots and dancing under the stars are involved.

Brides & grooms: I am no way asking you to add another to-do on your list. But rather, I’m encouraging a to-do list for your single friends, and only that you divulge necessary information when asked. You, the "just married's" are guaranteed lovin’ that night. And the night after. And the night after that. Singles live in a daily sex crapshoot. We’ve got to take lady luck on a ride when she presents herself.

So my fellow Table-for-Oners, here is the first must on YOUR single to-do list:

1. Find out who is coming to the wedding. Ask the bride who’s single and who she can vouch for. Depending on your interest in pursuing or not pursuing a relationship, remember to find out where these people live and how often you’ll have to or get-to see them after the wedding.

This first step will help give you an idea of who to expect and what to get excited about. Now you can start to plan what kind of evening you want to have. Check back for addition to-do’s and my own progress with the Bowie Bride wedding. 

T.T./OUT.

What other ideas do you have for your single friends attending your wedding?  What have been some of your experiences attending a wedding single?

Want more Tits? Experience the pure awesome that is Titfield Thunderbolt's blog...Single Lady Living in the City.

Win a Pack of "Something Blue" Nippies from Bristols 6!

I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am for this giveaway.  My nipps are actually getting hard just thinking about it. But hey, that's not a problem. I don't have to worry about rocksolid titcaps when I've got Bristols 6 Nippies to cover 'em up!

Not only is Bristols 6 giving away a pack of "Something Blue" Nippies to one lucky reader to wear on their Big Day... but in addition, they are offering all of my horny readers 20% OFF merchandise from their online store! So all our boobs are winners! Simply visit Bristols6.com and enter the code "BOWIEBRIDE" upon checkout. (I'm a coupon code, holyballs!)

...AND the magic doesn't end there, kiddies. If you win this amazing prize, you and I will be NIPPLE TWINS! 'Cause I gots me a pair. A fiiiiine pair. A sequin set of delicious blue-bs that I'm just *itchin'* to slap on! We're bringing a whole new meaning to the word "twins," and it doesn't get any more magical than that, am I right?

So here's how you enter... Each person gets one entry for each step followed, for a total of up to 4 entries:

1. Visit Bristols6.com, then leave a comment in this post telling us your favorite style of "Nippies"
2. Become a fan of Bristols 6 on Facebook, OR follow @Bristols6 and/or @Nippies on Twitter
3. Enter via Twitter, by tweeting the contest like so: "I entered to win a pack of #SomethingBlue @Nippies from @Bristols6 via @BowieBride (insert contest link)"
4. Become a fan of The Bowie Bride on Facebook, become a follower of this blog, OR follow @BowieBride on Twitter

IMPORTANT: Please tell us in the comments in this post, each method by which you entered the giveaway, so that we can better track the entries. For example, if I entered the contest all four ways, I would leave a comment that said something like this: "I love the leopard heart Nippies! I followed @Nippies on Twitter, I follow Bowie Bride's Blog, AND I tweeted the contest."  That commenter would receive the full 4 entries. See, easy cheesy!

The contest closes Wednesday, March 31st at 11:59 PM (PT). I will announce the winner on April 1st! Good luck, Nippie-Lovers!  Stay perky ;)

**This contest is only open to folks residing in the US.

One last thing: There's still time to enter my giveaway from Camera Renter, prize valued at $495! GET SOME!

Don't Bring Anal Ring Toss to a Bridal Shower

I have told my wedding party that I am absolutely 100% against them throwing me a bridal shower... UNLESS they are taking me to the bar and showering me with booze.  That's a-okay, as long as I can shower them with booze in return. But the whole idea of a "me-filled ladies-fest" isn't something I'm interested in. At all. This is what I don't understand about bridal showers: WHAT THE FUCK IS THE PURPOSE OF THEM?  I'm all for getting together with my gal pals for an afternoon of bellinis and pastry, don't get me wrong. But the whole "gift giving" aspect of it has me a tad confused.  When you go to a bridal shower, are you supposed to buy the bride something off her's and her partner's actual wedding registry?  Or is this the time we're "supposed to" give the bride trashy lingerie?

I have casually attended a couple of bridal showers in the past... And I'm pretty sure I just got them something off their registry... 'Cause we're not supposed to show up to these things empty-handed (I guess?) I don't know, man.  But does that then mean I need to buy them a whole separate gift for the actual wedding? Or does giving a gift at the shower count as the actual wedding gift?

Which brings me to my next question about bridal showers: What's up with the faux-bouquet every bride makes out of the ribbons and gift wrap? Is that the purpose of a bridal shower? To gather the appropriate materials for the bride's "rehearsal bouquet"? Because at the showers I have attended, the crafting of the rehearsal bouquet from all the gift wrappings was CRUCIAL. Like "what's the fucking point of the bridal shower if I don't get my rehearsal bouquet" crucial. But in order to make said bouquet, guests need to bring GIFTS wrapped in ribbons and flowers and dainty paper... which leads me to believe that YES, bringing a gift to a bridal shower is necessary. But the question still remains... WHAT KIND OF GIFT AM I SUPPOSED TO BRING?

(image source)

I was the Maid of Honor at my best friend's wedding, and I STILL don't know the purpose of bridal showers.  For her bridal shower, I had absolutely no clue, so thankfully one of the bridesmaids took the reigns, while I stuck to planning a party more my speed: The bachelorette party, (naturally). So when I showed up to her wedding shower, I came armed with 3 gifts... 'cause I had no freaking clue on what I supposed to buy/bring/whatever. And since I was the Maid of Honor for this whole shabang, I didn't want to look like the a-hole without the right giftload in tow. So this is what I ended up gifting the bride:

Gift #1: A wine decanter off her registry.

Gift #2: Lingerie

Gift #3: Anal Ring Toss

Yes. You read right. "Anal Ring Toss."  It's basically a plastic stick you place in your butt while people toss rings on it. It's like playing a game of horseshoes with your anus.  Anyway, I thought the bridal shower needed a lil bit of humor, so Anal Ring Toss it was. WELL... I also didn't quite account for the fact that the bride's mother, FMIL, and FSIL were there to witness her opening it up. They weren't *too* amused by Anal Ring Toss... even though it was a joke, and not meant to be taken seriously (well, publicly, at least. I'm sure behind closed doors Anal Ring Toss is to be taken very seriously). The bride loved it, and got a total kick out of it, 'cause she's down like that. But ultimately I got why the presence of Anal Ring Toss at a bridal shower could be a tad off-putting to some.  So. Here is what I have learned... and please correct me if I'm wrong... 'cause I honestly still don't know what the hell I'm talking about it.  From past experience, I have learned that the most appropriate gift to bring to a bridal shower is something off the registry, and/or a selection of tasteful lingerie. And if that is what a bridal shower is supposed to be, then let's get one thing straight: I DON'T WANT ONE.

What is your definition of a bridal shower? Are you having one? If so, why? (I'm totally dead-on-balls serious. No snarkiness at play here).

Holy Balls My Groom Has His Suit (Well, Almost)

And by "almost," I mean a vest and pants.  We both decided to go a tad more casual on the attire for him.  We're having a summer wedding, so making Mike wear a heavy blazer over an undershirt, a button-up, AND a vest seemed a lil bit much. At least for our tastes and comforts.  So prior to taking Mike on "the big shop," I did my research.  I made sure I was taking him to places I *knew* would sell separates. And that place, my babies, was none other that hot-as-balls designer Ben Sherman. I've had a hard-on for Ben's clothes for a while now... but I could never justify spending $100 on a shirt I knew Mike would eventually ruin while skateboarding. So naturally I have always tended to purchase his clothes at Target or at the Gap after X-mas sale.  But his wedding attire is a whole different animal. A sexy animal. A Sean Connery in Goldfinger kind of sexy animal. Therefore... my dreams of seeing Mike in head-to-toe Ben Sherman have come true. YAY!

We ventured into Ben Sherman yesterday, and it was glorious.  And all the boys who worked there were gay and fun and fashionable and totally ready to help me find something hot for my groom. All Mike had to do was sit in the "I Hate Shopping" lounge in the corner of the store and play with his iPhone the whole time.  The Ben boys and I did all the leg work. (Which I preferred, don't get me wrong).  In the end, we had an array of separates for Mike to try on. And once we got him in that dressing room... HOT DAMN he looked fly!  I knew my boy had it in him... His inner fashionista/sexpot/rock-God...

Here is the vest we bought him:

It is darkdark navy, with barely noticeable pin stripes, and slick blue piping on the sides and back.

We bought him a simple, slim cut pair of black pants at H&M. They were super cheap ($25!), fit well, and made his ass look extra sexy. So we decided to get the pants as back-ups in the event I can't find him a pair of Shermans for cheaper than $120.00 a pair... (I couldn't convince Mike to pay this much for pants... $100 on the vest was pushing it... but I made it clear to him that the vest was the most important piece and that spending the big skrilla on it was more than OK).
 
And here is what I intend on buying him... IF I can do some sale shopping magic in the next couple of months...

You liiiiike?  Well. I reeeeaaally like. I STILL have a boner from picturing Mike in full-on Sherman. Yum.  Oh and I of course will get him in the ball-hugging Ben Sherman boxer briefs to round out the look (and to get my mojo going).

What is your partner wearing for the big day?  Any grooms out there rocking a vest and pants sans jacket?  Or something totally different all together?

Male Lingerie

Things are about to get a lil sexxxy, folks. So hold onto your balls, 'cause it's gonna be one hot ride. And I ain't talkin about horses. I'm talkin about:

MALE LINGERIE

  image source

(image source)

 (image source)

We talk a lot about what the bride is going to wear underneath her wedding gown...You know, the white lace bustier, the garter, the "bride" thong, the sequin blue nipple pasties, the cleverly hidden hot pink teddy... I mean, shit, there's a whole entire industry dedicated to "what the bride will wear on her wedding night." But what about the brotha'z, yo?

Perhaps the above examples of male lingerie are going a tad too far for (some? most? many? all?) men (my man included), but I know that when I rip my groom's pants off on our wedding night, I don't wanna see the same crusty old pair of Hanes.  Hell naah. I want my man to wear some ass hugging, ball gripping, sexxxy as hell boxer briefs. Like so:

(image sources)

Can I get a me-OW?  Ben Sherman just knows how to make a man and his junk look hot, am I right, or what?  Have you and your partner discussed the wedding night undergarments? Or am I the only one who wants my man to wear some hot skivvies under his suit?  And please, PLEASE, if your man is wearing a banana hammock underneath his tux, DO TELL!

ALSO, on a completely un-balls-related note, don't forget to enter my sweet-ass giveaway from Camera Renter - prize valued at $495!

Win a Wedding Package from Camera Renter!

I've been waiting to do a giveaway on the blog for a while now... but I had yet to come across something I thought my readers could truly get down with.... UNTIL NOW.

Camera Renter is a super unique company that rents out a suite of digital cameras for your wedding. Included in the deal is a total of over 2,000 high-quality pictures, over 80 minutes of video, comes with back-up batteries, has simple instructions attached, and you’ll have the cameras for your entire wedding week. Yes, you read that right. YOUR ENTIRE WEDDING WEEK. This means that you can capture everything - bachelor party, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner, wedding day, and day after.  I truly feel Camera Renter is a unique service that could impact a wide range of engaged couples. For example:

1. The couple who can't afford professional photography/videography.
2. The couple who aren't interested in paying high prices for professional photography/videography.
3. The couple who has a photographer and/or videographer, but would love the benefit of getting 2,000 extra photos + 80 minutes of video straight from the different angles and perspectives of your wedding guests. 
4. The couple who want a green alternative to disposable wedding cameras. 

Let's face it. There are going to be awesome moments from your wedding that may not get captured on film.  And that would suck. But with Camera Renter, there's no way you will miss capturing priceless moments... like your parent's happy faces during the Maid of Honor's toast... or the moment the Best Man takes a tequila shot out of Grandma's boobs! (If I missed that, I would NOT be a happy camper).

One lucky winner will receive the following:

10 Digital Wedding Cameras

2000 Photos/80 Minutes Video

Free Shipping

100% Damage Insurance

Photo/Video Sharing Website

Unlimited Photo/Video Downloads

CD With All of Your Photos/Videos

A package worth $495.00!

To enter, simply provide your email and name in the form* below:

                                                                                       

* Email
* First Name

AND! For one additional entry, you can enter on Twitter too! Just copy and paste the following sentence, and tweet it: "I entered to win a digital camera wedding package from #CameraRenter via @BowieBride"

You MUST use the hashtag #CameraRenter AND provide a link to this page in your tweet to be eligible for the additional Twitter entry. 

And last but certainly not least, a number of lucky runner's up will also receive a special offer from Camera Renter!  The contest will close Wednesday, March 24th at Midnight, so be sure to get all your entries in by then. I will likely announce the winner on either the following Thursday or Friday morning. So make sure you follow my blog to see who wins!

Good luck, everyone!

*Don't worry.  Your email will not be shared all over Internetland. It's just so we can contact the lucky winner when they get picked.

My Something Blue: Sequin Nipple Pasties

I am not superstitious.  In the least.  So I decided to only do the "something blue" thing if it fell in my lap, or if it provided an opportunity for comical relief on what is to be a very stressful wedding weekend.  And lucky for me, that happened.  So to all those looking to keep your nips intact AND fulfill the "something blue" requirement thing, check these babies out:

And P.S. I am dead-on-balls, seriously going to wear these.  I'll call them my "blue-bs."

This One Goes Out to the One I Love...

I've been pretty mean to Mike on the blog lately.  He and I have talked about this. And I have since realized that perhaps I was being a tad unfair to him.  I wouldn't want our arguments aired on a blog for everyone to read... no matter how accurately the situation was characterized. So in turn, he has a bunch of people hating on him, and he doesn't get the opportunity to defend himself. And even if he did get to, he wouldn't want to.... because he doesn't want to fight with me online. Because it's ridiculous. And childish...  And I have to agree. So that left me feeling: 1. terrible & 2. a tad conflicted...  I always want to be honest with my readers, and to be able to speak candidly about the difficulties and challenges of planning a wedding...no matter how "real" the subject is.  So whenever Mike and I have a wedding-related argument or disagreement, I immediately go to the blog because you guys are my sounding board... my community of brides and grooms who could be going through the same thing... And I find comfort in your support and advice.  But I realize now that there are some things I should keep between he and I. And if there is really an issue that WE feel should be discussed in this medium, then we will.

My Michael is an extraordinary human being. I couldn't be with anyone who wasn't. He's a mentor to his students, an inspiration to his fellow teachers... he's one of the funniest people I've ever met... He keeps me grounded... He keeps me sane... and above all, he has been nothing but a supportive partner to me for the last seven years. And if I have made him out to be anything less than that, I apologize. Yes, we will have fights and arguments over dumb things like suit shopping. But those things don't really matter to me in the grand scheme of it all. They are frustrations, yes.  But they are not large enough to negatively air here. I realize this post is a bit of a Catch-22, in that I am airing our personal issues...again. But I felt the need to apologize to him publicly. So there you have it.

Fellow bloggers: Have you had similar issues with your partner... on the subject matter of some of your posts?

A Cure For Our [stolen] S.T.D.'s

S.T. D'z Nuts!! God I wish I had a huge set of balls to tug at right now. 'Cause I'd tug 'em super hard and throw down some SERIOUS middle finger flippage at a little shipping company called UPS.  For real. I am so over UPS giving us the runaround about our stolen Save the Date cards that I am going to shit. Seriously. I might as well go ahead and grab a change of pants, because I'ma 'bout to shit 'em. They were supposed to have us sign for the package. But no. Instead, they decided to leave the package on our doorstep, so that any asshole could come up and swipe 'em. Which they did.

The news that our package of STD's was stolen off our doorstep was bad enough. THEN, this happened:  I told Mike that I was getting the runaround from UPS with trying to locate the package. Annnnd cut to two months later and this issue STILL hasn't been solved. So I say to Mike, "Hey, Mike. I say we just email these suckers, or don't send them at all."  Then he says, "No, you have to get them reprinted." Yeah, you read that right. He just said, "YOU." As in ME, not US. The person who has done e-v-e-r-t-h-i-n-g for this wedding already. Like fuck if I want to waste my time addressing and stamping 125 postcards, when we're just gonna have to turn around and do it again a month later with the actual invites. NO THANKS.

BUT. Our STD's are just too genius to not be seen by our guests. We did these STD's like this for a reason. To make a statement about marriage equality. See:

The card is more so a political leaflet parody than an STD anyway. So its purpose sole purpose isn't necessarily notifying guests of our wedding date. So in light of that, this is what is going to happen: We will get the STD's reprinted, and we will send them WITH the actual wedding invitation. That way we will still get our message out about marriage equality, and at the same time avoid extra costs/waste with sending two separate invites. I mean, by this point, everyone I am inviting to the wedding knows what the date is, so they've pretty much already saved it without getting a postcard in the mail telling them to do so.

I am currently working on the invitation design with the uber fun and fabulous ladies of Bon Moment! And I am balls-excited to see their creation! This invitation suite is going to blow our guest's minds. Can't wait!

I Won a Bouquet! But Have Mixed Feelings About It...

I won a free bouquet from a wedding event I attended. I'm not exactly sure *how* I got entered to win said bouquet, but I was happily surprised to hear my name called for free shit regardless. I mean, who wouldn't, right? But there's a BUT.  Many months ago I had resigned myself to the fact that we will NOT have any live flower bouquets. At all. I was going to make 7 bouquets by hand with various new and recycled materials. I was going to personalize all the bouquets with items that go along with each of our personalities.  I don't want to give too much away, because these "bouquets" are going to be a lil bit different... think beautiful from afar, but hilarious up close.  I got so excited about this idea, that I was totally and utterly waaay cool with not having live floral bouquets.

And then I won a bouquet. More specifically, a rose-dominated bouquet. Which is awesome don't get me wrong, but how am I going to personalize it like I had originally planned? I have my WristieLove Brooch that I wanted to adorn the handle with. And I even bought little Bowie pins to put in my homemade bouquet ball of pretty.* I was pretty balls-excited about my potential homemade ball of pretty.  But now I don't know what to do.  Do I cash in my free live flower bouquet? Or do I get the bouquet, but use it for a centerpiece instead?  Or should I go for the ultimate compromise and incorporate some of my own pieces in the flower bouquet (hoping that the company will cooperate)?

Am I a flower bouquet bride? Here's a pic of me holding one:

Photo Credit: Desi Baytan Photography

Yay? Nay? Don't give a shit?

I'm torn.

And seriously... Feel free to tell me these are an asshole's problems and that I shouldn't have any qualms about free shit, and to just be thankful I don't have to pay for my ball of pretty. Go ahead. Let me have it. I can take it.

*A bouquet is something you carry in your hands or on your person that serves as an accessory. It can be made out of whatever. It's a ball 'o pretty. That's it.

Repeat After Me: I Am A Machine

4.5 months til the wedding. And I'm runnin' out of gas. I need a power chant. Who's with me? I find that saying said chant whilst listening to something hardcore like W.A.S.P. is what is going to get me through the last haul. The homestretch. The third trimester. The no-abortion zone.* It's a scary, hectic, insane time filled with having to juggle real life shit and wedding shit.  So somewhere between work, writing, and home life, I have to make time for "homemade bouquet crafting." It's almost laughable when you say it out loud, right? *Ridiculous* ...But also important. On some level.

So I came up with a chant to help get me through this crazy time. And I think it may help you out too. So feel free to Rebel, Rebel yell it with me loud and proud. I promise it will make you feel at least a tad better...And sometimes a tad's all it takes.**

I Am A Machine

I have a fuckload on my plate right now.
And my To-Do List is a mile long.

But it will get done.

Because I am a Machine.

If I have to work from sun up til sun down,
through the night even,
I will. 

Because I give a shit. 

And, Because I am a Machine.
Work.

Career. 

School.

Partner.

Pets.

Finances.

Home. 

Family. 

Friends. 

Wedding.

I have many obligations. And many goals.

And half the time I feel like my head is going to explode.
But in the end, I am thankful to be busy.

And I know in my my heart, to the very core, that I am more than capable.
I will balance it all.
I will succeed.

Because why, bitches?

BECAUSE I AM A FUCKING MACHINE.

[INSERT LION ROAR]

W.A.S.P.

Did you say it out loud? 

Do you feel a little more badass?

*Abortion joke on a wedding blog: Too much? Even for me?
**"A Tad's All It Takes" = Awesome movie title.

If He Doesn't Care What He Marries Me In, Fine.

Then I'm putting him in this:

 

 image 

Still cool with whatever I pick, darling...?  I know ice blue isn't your color, but you said you didn't care, so, here ya go! Ain't she a beaut? Wait, what's that? Do you have to wear ghostface makeup and grow a mullet? Why, yes, dear. Yes you do. The look just wouldn't be complete without it. Kisses!

Love, B*

SUIT UPDATE:

We have not attempted to shop again. Surprise, Surprise.  And you know what? It's not like I'm dyyyying to spend my day-off shopping with a crankypants a-hole. I have shit to do. And I don't think Mike realizes that spending an afternoon of shopping with him is *just* as tortuous to me as it is to him.  And another factor in play here is the fact that suits aren't cheap.  So it's gonna take some time to try on different fits and find the right price. So here is my final plea and compromise: I will be as positive and as chill as you want to go about doing this. We can do one store at a time on different days, to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Whatever it takes. I just can't do this suit thing alone. As much as I'd like to be able to. I Can't. With a capital fuckin "C."

*GoodGodIamUptoMyEarsInWeddingAndGoingToExplodeJustFuckingCooperate

Wish Upon a Wedding [ROCKS]

Wedding Bloggers of the world are joining forces this week to raise awareness about a truly amazing organization called Wish Upon A Wedding. 

Wish Upon A Wedding aims to "produce weddings and civil union ceremonies at destinations across the USA for terminally ill individuals, regardless of sexual orientation."

I read those words and said, "HELL YES." And then I read Michael & Florence's story and started to tear up... Michael and Florence are Wish Upon a Wedding's first recipients. Here's a piece from their amazing tale:

"Michael told Florence he’d found his other half and wanted to be her husband. When Florence was diagnosed with cancer, she worried Michael might leave. But he was always there for her, supporting her throughout the entire experience, including a double mastectomy. Michael proposed to Florence by saying “I want to make you my wife” and “make our family official”. He let her know that no matter what happens, he loves her and wants to be with her unconditionally.
 

 

Unfortunately, the wedding plans had to be pushed aside... until one fateful day...


"In December 2009, as Wish Upon a Wedding was holding one of its first board meetings, we received the following fateful email from a wedding planner named Nastasha Verkest of Tave Weddings & Events.

“I am a Professional Bridal Consultant out of the Sacramento, CA area. I volunteered at a Charity Wedding Gown Sale for Making Memories this past summer. At that event, I had an opportunity to meet an amazing Bride named Florence that unfortunately has lost both of her breasts to cancer, and is now at stage 4 cancer. She came to the event basically to “window shop” for a dress (as she had been putting off her own nuptials for obvious medical and financial reasons). When the director of the event learned Florence had Breast Cancer; Making Memories immediately decided to donate a gown of her choice to her. I was so inspired and captivated by this phenomenal woman, that I donated my services to her free of charge.”

This story honestly moved me.  It's refreshing to see an organization such as this emerge from the often shallow waters of the wedding industry. Thanks to Wish Upon A Wedding, On March 13th, 2010, Michael and Florence will get the chance to celebrate their partnership in front of the people who love them most.

If you are a wedding blogger, or a blogger who's down with this cause, then I urge you to participate in Wish Upon A Wedding Awareness Week.  You still have today and tomorrow to spread the word. Blog it, Facebook it, Tweet it, Make love to it, whatever form of communication gets you hard, USE IT.

Find more info, here.
Apply to be a Wish Granter, here.

I'm Getting Drunk at My Wedding. So Back Off.

Someone once told me that it's not "classy" to get loaded at your own wedding.  I'm not even going to waste my time explaining why I think that statement is the biggest CROCK I'vc ever heard. Because if you're reading this blog, you probably are having the same, "are-u-fucking-kidding-me" reaction to that as I did.

Who the EFF is going to spend an entire YEAR planning a party for themselves and not party? Well. Not this bitch.  In fact, I'm planning the entire schedule of this wedding around the booze.

1. Pre-ceremony & Ceremony: White Wine
2. Cocktail Hour: Same + Red Wine, Homebrew, Keg of PBR
3. Dinner: Same + Mead tasting
4. Toasts: Same + Champagne
5. First Dances: Same + Gin n Juice
6. Dance Party: Same + Shots of Patron

I've also heard horror stories about not having *time* to drink at your own wedding... that the couple spent most of the reception talking to their guests. Which is lovely, don't get me wrong. I will of course want to talk to as many guests as I possibly can, but I'll be double-fisting drinks while I'm doing it. And when the dance party starts, don't even *think* of starting a conversation with me... unless you can communicate in the language of DANCE. Like so:

So I have two questions for you:

How loaded do you plan on getting at your wedding? And if you're married... How loaded did you get at your wedding? On a scale of 1 to 10... 1 being "stone cold sober" and 10 being "Drunk off your balls." I'm really curious...

I am Faux-Sho a Faux Bob Bride

 

Hair. I've got a ton of it. Long, thick, wavy, crazyballs, big hair. I have always enjoyed wearing my hair in funky styles. I've never really been into "just wearing it down" and forgetting about it. I'm a hairdo person.  My hair is the only thing I'll blow the big bucks on beauty-wise. So naturally, I am going to focus hard on making my hair hella fly for the wedding.

Recently, I got my hair done in a faux bob updo and I fell in love with it.  Because my hair is so big and wavy, I've never been able to have an actual real bob. It would be total frizz overload, annoying as balls on the upkeep and overall not a pretty sight... Which makes me sad because I LOVE the Marylin Monroe bob and have always wanted to cut my hair like hers, but alas... the faux version will have to do....

Here are some inspiration pics for my wedding hair. I want to make it a little more whimsical, more messy, and more high-fashiony than these, but you get the idea.

 

As for the ever important veil/no veil/hair flower question.... I have decided to NOT wear a veil.  And instead I am getting a hair-piece custom made by the amazingly talented Nic from Tiaras and Fascinators.  She specializes in the most gorgeous couture pin-up, retro hair-wear. I am currently coming up with a design that would work with my faux bob... something likely made of feathers and sinamay... Below is a shot of my hair in a faux bob from an event I modeled a bridal gown at (more on that later):

So what kind of hair piece do you guys think would look good with this hairdo? And if you have time, (and love me enough to do this), check out Tiara's and Fascinators and tell me which one you think would look the best.  I'm clueless as of right now.  Below are pictures of the designer modeling her own work. Isn't she gorgeous?!  I can't wait to wear one of her designs. Let's just hope my hair looks as fly as hers does in these pics.

 

Thanks for your advice on the hair, loves!  How are you guys doing your hair for the wedding?