Forget Bowie Bride. Future Husband's Soulmate is His Cat.

Moe is our cat. Our fluffy, orange, Maine Coon cat, to be exact. A cat with a personality all his own. A cat who is, in the words of Savage Garden, Truly, Madly, Deeply in love with my future husband, Michael.  Moe sees my Michael as his soulmate. This ain't just a crush, yo. Moe is full on balls-in-love with Mike.  Not only do they sleep together... they SPOON each other. All night. In fact, I'd go as far as to say Mike and Moe are more soulmates than Mike and I are soulmates. Well, let me clarify.  I never believed in the word "soulmates" until I saw Mike and Moe together. As one. Human and cat. Together. As lovers. 

Mike and Moe are besties. And I would love nothing more than for Moe to be somewhat present at our wedding.  But Moe can't walk down an aisle. No fuckin way. Moe is too scared to even leave our apartment, let alone be put on parade in front of 150 people.  So it slightly saddens me that such an important little creature won't be present on our big day... Here's why:

Moe was the first "joint purchase" we made together as a couple. We didn't even live together before we bought Moe together.  So in some small way, Moe has been part of the glue that's held Michael and I together.

Moe's been through it all. A summer alone with me in my Arizona apartment. The move from Arizona to Long Beach. The first time we got engaged. The move from Long Beach to Los Angeles.  The second time we got engaged. The hard times. The good times. The sexy times. The not so sexy times...

Yo. Moe-cat's been there.  So our Little Moe-Cat Sweetheart kinda holds this special place in our loins (heart = loins in this case, just roll with it). 

But here's my question: How the foo-uck do you incorporate your cat into a wedding? You see, dog owners do that shit all the time.  Putting their sweet pitbulls in canine tuxedos. Or using their regal Great Danes as ring bearers. But hmmm... a cat... what the shit do you do with that?  

Anyone out there incorporate your kitty-cat into your actual ceremony or reception? I'm interested in live appearance stories as well as picture/video appearances. 'Cause we have to bring Moe into the matrimony mix some how. It's a MUST! So float me your suggs, loves.

 

Um, how cute are Mike and Moe? I know, "waaaaaay." Their cuteness actually makes me want to vomit sometimes.

Apparently Mike Doesn't Give a Shit About His Wedding Attire

And he made that pretty damn clear to me today while we were having, what was supposed to be, a leisurely day of eating and shopping at the LA Farmer's Market and the Grove.

First let me preface this by saying we didn't do anything for Valentine's Day.  In fact, we barely even acknowledged it. We usually at the very least manage to get in a low-key dinner, a lil' sexin, and a sweet card for Vday, but this year we were both massively hungover from the birthday party we attended the night before.  So most of the day was spent balled up on the couch watching Iron Chef reruns.  I thought to myself, no worries, we'll be all set to go tomorrow, and we'll have a lovely day together to make up for it.

And that brings us back to today at the Grove. Where my belated "Valentine's present" or rather, my "sweet gesture just because you love me" present, was for him to try on potential wedding suits, pants, vests, etc. Just to get an idea of what colors and fits he looks good in. I mean, we're 4.5 months away from the big day, we both have a day off work, so why the hell not?  That's all he had to do to make me happy... elated even! Just try on a few fuckin' pairs of pants. That's it.  I understand that Mike hates to shop. I am well aware of this. Which is why I never take him.  So like a child, I buy his clothes for him.  But shopping for what he's going to marry me in is a whole other story.  It is my belief that he is required, at the very least, to put up with shopping for this. But no. We literally spent 3 minutes in each store - giving me barely enough time to see what was even available. And not only were we in there for not enough time, but he was a jerk about it.  Antsy, agitated, child-like, and annoying as all get out. And all I wanted to say was "Hey Mike, stop acting like one of your 12 year old students, jackass!"

Was I wrong to expect that he'd give up his hatred for clothes shopping for one day? Or are you with me in thinking that wedding attire shopping should be the exception?

He knows I'm going to get the major hots for him while he's trying on these sexy suited looks...but that doesn't seem to persuade him either.  Shit, at this point I may have to trade sexual favors just to get my groom to try on the g.d. thing.  I mean, sheeesh!

via ben sherman

 

via J. Crew 

via J Crew 

via ben sherman

Anyone else have troubles suit/tux shopping with your partner?  Anybody straight up buy one for them without even trying it on?

I want Mike to look hella fly on our wedding day. But if his attitude about shopping for his wedding look continues to stay like this, goodgod I'm going to lose my shit.