The Stay-At-Home Whatever

I have been on hiatus from work since the end of November.  And I am going nuts. A[Bride]in Sane, if you will.  The TV show I work on starts up again on February 11th, and I couldn't be more ready to be useful again.  I know that sounds a tad crazy.  Complaining about an extended vacation... but when January rolls around, and I've been home in my pajamas for the last month and a half, I start to go a little batshit crazy.  And it's not because I have nothing to do. NO. I have been hardcore wedding planning and working on my personal writing projects the whole time (I'm very lucky to be self-disciplined). But, without having to shower, physically get dressed, put make-up on, get in my car, drive 45 minutes in traffic, then sit at a desk for 11 hours or so, and drive home in an hour of traffic, I feel like I didn't earn the day.  Mike busts his ass teaching middle school in Watts everyday to come home to me, still in PJ's, sprawled out on the couch, nursing a glass of wine, and watching Oprah.  Sure, I haven't been doing that all day. I've been up since 7 AM working on blog posts, script pages, and returning 80 billion wedding related emails, but for some reason I still feel utterly useless.  And it's depressing. The fact that I can watch Oprah when it airs at 3:00PM, as opposed to taping it, or the fact that I even watch Oprah at all, depresses me. There was a whole week in LA recently where it rained and rained and it was gloomy as all get-out and I was in the worst mood and could barely get off the damn couch. It was awful. I was secretly wishing I was out there in traffic braving the weather to get to work like everyone else was. Which sounds crazy because the one thing everyone ever wants to do when it's raining out, is be at home, in their PJ's, warm and cozy, cuddled up on a couch with a blanky and a fluffy orange kitty. (Yes, I said, "blanky").

Experiencing an entire 2 months off of work has forced me to examine the role of the stay-at-home-whatever. The "whatever" can mean anything: wife, husband, father, mother, etc. We don't need to limit this discussion to just the role of a woman. Because I think we've moved past the point of women being expected to adhere to any traditional roles once married - or at least in the world of Bowie Bride anyway. The simple fact is that when you get married, you have two incomes, and a whole new set of options.  Because now you're a team. If one team member isn't pulling their weight, then the other makes up for it, and vice versa. If I was making the most money, and Mike wanted to stay at home and raise kids, ACES. He's made it clear that he's already game for that...of course...in the very, very distant future...let's not get ahead ourselves here :)  If the situation ends up being reversed, and he's making the most money, then I really don't think I can bring myself to be a stay-at-home-whatever. Yeah, sure, I may be speaking too soon, but if I can't handle two months of cleaning the house for a living where my uniform is a pair of sweats and a ripped Bowie T-shirt, then how in the hell would I survive more than that?  Whether you stay home because financially you don't need to work, or you actually *work* from home, or you don't work and are taking care of kiddos, or you don't have a job for whatever reason, I have a question for you: How the hell do you stay sane?  And I am genuinely asking this, too.  Because I could potentially write freelance if I'm not working on a TV show where I physically have to go to an office everyday. So I could be a stay-at-home whatever someday.  And that kind of freaks me out.  Being alone in your thoughts all day long with no human contact EFFS WITH YOUR MIND. Especially if you're a writer with a crazy imagination like mine, then being alone in your thoughts can be the scariest place on Earth.

So for all of you who are stay-at-home-whatevers, or are contemplating it, I'd love to hear your experience. Especially if you are the fiercely independent career-minded type...I want to hear when and why you stopped working, why you're home, and how it has affected your life/livelihood, if at all.

I'm Goin' Domestic & Takin' Names

Psych is on hiatus, so I'll be off work til the New Year. Which in turn gives me the 'job' of taking care of the house, doing the chores, running the errands, and basically being the all around Domestic Sensai Lord that I definitely am NOT. One of Mike's favorite things to tease me about is how much he's gonna LOVE seeing me be a stay-at-home wife who cooks and cleans all day long waiting for her precious hubby to come home from work. He OF COURSE is kidding, don't worry. But whenever he mentions it, I think about the times where it WAS expected of women to be domestic housewife goddesses after marriage. And, dude. It scares the sh-t out of me. I actually enjoy having a job to go to everyday where my responsibilities don't include scrubbing toilets and cooking dinner.

But today, I decided to embrace domestic life and wake up super early, head to Target, go nuts, come home, put in a load of laundry, make myself lunch (which is sadly a huge step for me), and clean, clean, clean til I could clean no more. But first I was like, if I'm gonna be forced to go all domestic 'n shiz, then I'm gonna do it my way: While jamming to the sweet sounds of Rage Against the Machine. So there I was. Kneeling at the helm of a dirty tub. My right arm fisting the air, while the left hand furiously scrubbed to the beat of "Guerrilla Radio." I truly felt like I was kicking the tub's ass. And it was awesome. BUT that 'awesome' feeling certainly did not last. By the time "Sleep Now in the Fire" came on, my knuckles were bleeding (seriously) and my arm was hurting like balls from scrubbing. I decided at that point that kicking the tub's ass wasn't something I'd like to do on a daily basis...or even on a weekly basis. (I'm so bad, I know). Housework is exhausting, man. I'm down for doing the hardcore clean once in a while, but it's just not something I could handle staring me in the face everyday. So, to my stay-at-home Mom...if you're reading...GUUUUURL, you've got skillz. I have developed a whole new kind of appreciation for the brave folk who man the household for a living.

Tomorrow's Adventure in Domesticity: Grocery shopping for dinner. Wish me luck!

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