Should We Allow Young Kids at This Wedding? (Seriously)

Eeek. This is something that's had me worried.  My cousin emailed me a while back, asking if he could bring his kids to the wedding. My initial reaction is YES OF COURSE, MORE THE MERRIER! But then I stop myself...because this wedding isn't shaping up to be very...um... PG. I'd say it's more PG-13 verging on R, with a post-midnight soft-NC-17 rating at this point  Certainly not PG.  Here's why:

1. Lots-o-Nude photography on the walls in the venue--->
2. The Troast Contest
3. The heavy emphasis on drinking.... hardcore drinking. Think Shots. And a Boot beer chugging contest between the bride and groom. Boxed wine, Gin n juice, homebrew, & honey wine. 
4. Uncensored music for the dance party. Including Peaches' "Fuck the Pain Away" & Snoop Dogg's "Ain't No Fun"
5. Foul language encouraged at every turn
6. Party don't end til 1:30 AM 
7. The venue is in a seedy area of downtown. There's a strip club directly across the street from it.
8. No extra money in the budget for children's entertainment... unless you count staring at the booty shaking/humping spectacle being made on the dance floor as appropriate entertainment for kids
9. The food. Not sure kids would necessarily like eating tofu and short rib tacos, but maybe...
10. And last but certainly NOT least, I like to grab my crotch on the dance floor... and I ain't gonna censor that shit on my wedding day. 

So, if you were a parent, and you saw this list, would you want to bring your children to our wedding?  Seriously.  Please. I need your help.

Or am I just being overly-cautious here?

(image)

Me in My Mom's Wedding Dress

Over XXXmas I had the pleasure of trying my Momma's wedding dress on.  She and my pops got married on New Year's Day, 1982, and planned it in 4 months. FOUR MONTHS. Yeah. I know. Insanity. I'll do a seperate post on that bit of craziness soon, but for now, let's get to the dress. My mom bought the dress at a local shop in Lake Bluff, IL for $400. No muss. No fuss. She just went in the bridal shop by herself, tried it on, and bought it. End of story. The crazy part is that while trying the dress on, my mom said I could do anything I wanted to it. Meaning I could wear it as is, cut it up, turn it into a different dress, or a purse, or a veil, or an ascot, or a dainty Speedo, or even a pair of Hammer pants - the sky's the limit!  So OF COURSE this got me thinking.  Do y'all remember when I said I'm having a second dress made for the reception? WELL, I may use the lace from this dress - because seriously - these pics don't do it justice. The lace is GORGEOUS.  It's Venetian and super detailed and I would die if I could wear it in some way. I feel bad cutting this beaut up, but Momma assured me that it was more than okay. And the fact hat she had it stored in a plastic bag all balled up through the years, makes me feel a-okay with playing with it. So thank you, Mom!  I hope this works out because I would be honored to wear a part of your wedding memories on my big day.  It would be super-spesh! (That's "special" in Hilgers-speak).

 So what do you guys think?  Any suggestions on how I could use the lace in my dress?  Here's an inspiration pic of what my reception dress is going to look like:

Photo by Renee Brazel

I Will Participate in the Father/Daughter Dance

Not because the bride is supposed to. Or because it'll be our last dance before my husband takes the reigns and becomes "responsible" for me. No. F-ck those reasons. I will dance with my father at my wedding because I love him and want him to feel special and, well honestly, WHY THE HELL WOULD I NOT DANCE WITH HIM AT MY WEDDING? The traditional meaning of the Father/Daughter dance doesn't mean jacksh-t to me. So I made up some new reasons.

I want to dance with my Father at my wedding because:

1. He has ALWAYS inspired me to create - whether it be playing an instrument, writing music, singing, screenwriting, acting, you name it. And given the fact that I work in a creative industry now and I never gave up on "the dream" of getting there, I would be lost without his encouragement and inspiration all these years.
2. He always read to me and encouraged me to love reading. So much so that he got me reading Tolkein at the age of 9. I majored in English because of him. And my love of books, writing, and reading eventually inspired me to become a professional writer. I was able to discover and fully embrace my passion for writing because of my father's encouragement, and I couldn't be more thankful for that.
3. He is THE reason for my awesome taste in music. I knew every Neil Young album by heart before I was even a teenager. Music is such a huge part of my life. My Dad also introduced me to one of the greatest prog rock bands of all time: YES. He took me to see them four times as a teen and their music has truly impacted my life and the way I view the world.
4. He's one of my favorite drinking buddies. (That's HUGE in my book lol)
5. We would pick a BOMB-ASS song to dance to. Something that has meant a great deal to he and I over the years. Did I mention how much we love music? ha.

So for these reasons, I WILL dance with my father at my wedding. But here's my concern: What about Mom? My Mom has done so many amazing things for me and has shaped the person I am today just as much as my father has...so why doesn't she get a public display of my love for her too? SO, since The Bowie Bride is all about creating your own wedding traditions, I thought this forum would be the perfect place to discuss/share ideas on this matter.

So my first question is this: Are you doing the Father/Daughter Dance? Why or why not?

And my next question is: Are you doing anything special for Mom (or for anyone one else that has shaped you over the years) during the wedding?

Need ideas! I have a feeling a lot of my fellow brides out there want to do something special for their mothers too, so I'd love to compile some ideas and do a future post on it. So let's rock, yo!

Homemade Booze Update!

Dude. My Dad kicks assssssss.

Remember when I told you he's making homemade beer and honey wine for the wedding? WELL, he has sent me an update documenting the honey wine's fermentation process so far. And I couldn't be more excited to taste it! It's going to be the ultimate jam. He has informed me that everything is on track and will be ready to serve come July 31, 2010! It's hilarious that the mead is taking just as long to prepare for the wedding as we are! It will surely be a treat when it's ready to drink and WELL worth the wait. I can feeeeeeel it.

The name of the honey wine is this:
"Mithrandir's Blackberry Meluvor Wedding Mead"

If you can guess the Lord of the Rings reference, congratulations. You've proved yourself to be just as nerdy as I am. For those of you who ever wondered what it looks like to make honey wine, check it out:

Dad: Above I am "racking" or syphoning the mead from the primary to the secondary, leaving behind all the old yeast ans solids, called "trub." Just prior to racking, I poured the 7 lbs. of blackberries into the secondary fermenter.

Dad: Above, measuring the specific gravity with a hydrometer.

Dad: Above, gravity reading being taken.

Dad: The secondary fermenter bubbling away yesterday at 1 bbl/sec.

Dad: Close up of the new fermentation lock used when fermentation slows down: it's more sensitive than the first one. See the bubble just starting to go through the lock on it's left half?

Thank you for sending the update, Dad! Anyone out there serve homemade booze at your wedding? Was it a hit?

25 Cost Cutting Concepts for the Post-modern Bride, Part II

Miss part one? Get it here, dudes.

14. Dessert (image)

• No big expensive cake.
  
• Instead, think candy bar, cookies and milk, an assortment of Popsicles and ice cream bars, or doughnuts, or brownies, or lemon bars, or baklava, the list goes on!
• Rent an ice cream machine and have a toppings bar.
• Having a summer wedding? Snow cones!
• Rock some carnival action with candy apples, caramel corn, and cotton candy
  
• Have a friend bake 5 or 6 one-tier cakes. Place them on antique plates and decorate them with unique cake toppers.
  
• Make the dessert bar a "pot luck" - not necessarily making everyone bring a dessert, but maybe a select few you ask personally to do so...
• If you absolutely need a big cake for the purpose of pictures, then rent a fake one. Not kidding. Read here.

15. Suit/Tux (image)

• If you live in a big city like LA or NY, hit up the fashion/garment district and find a fly-ass suit or tux for half the price. Mike and I saw tuxes for sale in downtown for $99.00. A rental would cost that. Why not own it?
  
• Do the mix and match look. I'm a master at finding Internet coupon codes, so I know I can piece a great look together from multiple stores. "What? Gap has a black tailored vest on sale? And J.Crew has those grey pants for half off? What'd you say? Free Shipping on shoes from Urban? Sh*t, son!" ...I like the mix and match look because I don't want us to look too "perfect" and put together. I want us to look like us, only a little hotter. Make sense?
  
• Hit up a thrift store, find an old school suit, and get the thing tailored to perfection. I would KILL to find Mike a fly ass suit from the 70's and get it tailored to look semi-modern.
• Ask your friends and family members if they have an old suit or tux in an attic somewhere that they don't wear anymore.
  

16. Favors (image)

• Alright. I personally don't believe in giving wedding favors - especially the ones where you put both your names on a key chain or a magnet. Nobody gives a sh*t about that stuff. NO favors. Free food and booze is enough, man!
  
• BUT, if you MUST have wedding favors, make them do double duty. In other words, have the favors serve a purpose in the actual wedding, then let your guests take them home as small gifts. Here are a few ideas:
  
• Have a photo booth and have the guests take the pics home. If you're doing digital, craft a website that everyone can have access to.
  
• Everyone needs a cup to drink out of, so why not give everyone a souvenir plastic cup that they can "crunk-ify". Meaning, set up a few decorating stations where they can personalize their cups with markers, stickers, glitter, etc. They can drink out of it the whole night! AND if you have kids at your wedding, this could be great way to keep them busy.
  
• Create an art wall that everyone gets to draw on and contribute to, then at the end of the night, have someone cut it into 8x10's and let everyone take a piece home to frame.
• Provide plastic Ziploc containers so your guests can take home your leftover food. (I realize this one's a little out there, but hey man, I'm not above doing this. Free food is free food).
  

17. Veil/Accessories/Garter

• I won my hair accessories, my bracelet, and my earrings in a contest put on by Southern Weddings. So enter those contests, gals. You never know when luck will be on your side...
  
• I'm not wearing a veil. I'm not paying hundreds of dollars on a piece of tulle that makes me look like a cream puff. Think of cheaper hair accessories like, feathers, flowers, headbands, etc.
  
• For your jewelry, buy something re-wearable, like a watch, or a simple long necklace.
  
• I am not wearing a garter. Creeps me out. I don't need a piece of elastic to "guard" anything - especially one that involves my hoo-ha.
  
• You can rent diamond jewelry from here for around $100 if that's your bag.
  
• Something old, something new, something borrowed...wait--Why only borrow one thing? Borrow ALL of your jewelry...Chances are your Mother, you Grandmother, or your Mom or Dad's pals will have some fly jewelry hanging about.

18. Flowers (image)

• We are going to hand make the bouts with sturdy materials like succulents, fabrics, buttons, and paper flowers. The boys aren't gonna give two sh*ts about wearing these anyway, so we're not going to blow the bank on this one. I have a few crafty friends. Needless to say, I will be using them. Kate, Anne, Alexis: I'm talkin' to you :)
  
• I found this bout on etsy for only $3.50. That's pretty reasonable. I would only buy if I couldn't make them myself for cheaper.
  
• Some peeps just want to order flowers and not have to worry about making anything. A cheaper and less stressful option would be to order your flowers from Costco. They make everything fresh, box it up and have it sent to you that day. You can get a nine piece set for $229.99.
  
• Bouquets are just "balls of pretty" - they don't necessarily have to be made of actual flowers. So rustle up some fake flowers, newspaper origami, brooches, pins, ribbons, buttons, fabrics - basically anything that's colorful or cool looking - buy a Styrofoam ball and glue and pin everything together. I want UNIQUE. So I'm gonna go for this. AND since this bouquet won't be a living bouquet, I can Brideshare it!
  

19. Photography

• We won our engagement shoot, day of wedding shoot, and day after shoot from the wonderful and talented Nicole Polk, of Polkadot Portraits :) That was obviously a big help...We are simply providing her with a plane ticket, a rental car, and hotel accommodations for the weekend. So we're getting world class photography for a mere fraction of the price.
  
• I guess my big tip here is to enter these contests and make your entry STAND OUT. There are actually a decent number of photogs out there who put on these contests - and they'd be damned if they're gonna give away free services to boring couples. People respond to creativity and unique ideas. So oooooze it!
• I'm sure you all have heard of this, but it's such a cool thing I thought I'd mention it just in case...Insanely awesome photog Dan Chen of "Chennergy Weddings" offers to shoot a free wedding a year for unique couples in financial need. All he wants from you is an email detailing you sitch. The always fab Broke-Ass-Bride won her photography from Dan and the pics were like WHOA-SAUCE AMAZING. Check 'em out here.
  
• A bride friend of mine got a HEAVILY discounted photography package from a team looking to expand their portfolio to include weddings. Have a photog you're in love with? Ask he or she if they'd be willing to shoot a wedding. I guarentee they won't charge you the normal full price.
• Reach out to your local university's photography program. They need the practice and would charge a lot less.
  

20. Plates and Utensils (image)

• A bride friend of mine had a buffet style set-up. Her caterer didn't provide plates, napkins or utensils, so she bought "fake china" from Costco instead - basically plates and utensils that appear to look all real and classy, but are made of plastic. This made clean-up super easy. And no one even noticed or cared that they were eating on plastic.
  
• Having a smaller wedding? Thrift store shop for all your plates. Who cares if they're mismatched. I would actually prefer mismatched. Each plate has it's own special story :)
  
• Or buy a big set from Ikea, and donate them or Brideshare them, or sell them to another bride when you're done.
• Using plastic silverware? Make it look sexy by wrapping it in a napkin and tying it with ribbon or twine, then adorning it with dried flowers or rosemary.

21. Save-the-dates/Invites (image)

• We're sending simple postcards you can make online for the save the date cards - we won these as well! But regardless, they are very inexpensive and you can make your own from scratch online. We're using Digital Room.
  
• Your guests don't NEED two printed invitations to your wedding. Just email your STD's.
• Want something super cool, but way cheaper than your standard wedding invite? We're thinking of using 'ticket stub invites" - the ticket would look exactly like a Ticketmaster concert ticket, but would be personalized to fit our event. What better way to tell your guests they're in for a fun, "rock n roll" type of wedding. PLUS you can mail these inexpensively.
  
• Tell people to RSVP on your wedding website. That way you'll save on return postage. And don't pay for your wedding website, kids. There's tons of free ones. We used Wix.com.
  

22. Rehearsal Dinner (image)

• We have no idea how we're going to pay for this. I mean a full dinner for 25 people PLUS booze isn't going to be cheap if we go out. I'd prefer to go out downtown for the rehearsal, but I had another idea in case we need a back up:
  
• Both our families live out of state so they would have to get a hotel anyway - so I'm going to suggest to my family or Mike's family to rent a house with a BBQ and a big backyard near downtown. That way, we can just buy a case of wine, grill up some dogs, or order in some pizzas for the rehearsal dinner. I don't need fancy. I just want FUN.
  
• And as an added BONUS, you can use the rented house for the day after BBQ.
• OR, hit up a happy hour. Have your ceremony rehearsal early - like 4:00pm, then head out to Happy Hour at 5:00pm (most usually last from 4-7pm). I know a great place downtown that has a happy hour with food AND booze options - even on Saturdays and Sundays. When happy hour ends, head out to a bar afterward where everyone will pay for their own drinks, but the party won't stop!
  
• Consider a cheap place that has has authentic flare - or somewhere that is a 'taste of your city'. We're considering a place called Phillipes - it's a cheap beef dip sandwich place that is TO DIE FOR. Just think of hole in the wall places that your guests would be excited to try. I always take my out of town peeps to Korean BBQ, or Zankou Chicken (Armenian). Both big hits every time.
  
• Or head to a place that is BYOB. Usually these types of places haven't obtained their liquor license yet. So what better way to get the booze for cheap than by bringing in your own two buck Chuck? Knowing my friends and family, the alcohol budget will make up for half the bill...so this would be a help fo' sho'.
  

23. Wedding rings (image)

• We're getting Mike a ring on etsy.com for under $50 made out of stainless steal or titanium. Mike doesn't need platinum or white gold - he would ruin it in a year's time anyway!
  
• Girls proposing to their guys (myself included): buy a titanium ring set on etsy. Use the thinner ring for the proposal and the thicker for the wedding. Women opt to wear two rings, why not let the dudes in on some double ring-age? This set costs $90.00. Not too bad for something you're gonna wear for your whole life.
  
• No ring for me. My beautiful heirloom engagement ring is enough bling (unless I can find an etsy gem for under $50).

24. Additional Entertainment (image)

• Have a dance battle - fun AND hilarious.
  
• Some peeps just don't dance, so keep them in on the fun by setting up different inexpensive activities.
• Set up cocktail tables in another section of the venue so people can mix and mingle when they're not dining or dancing. We're using the garden area for people to chill, chat and get fresh air.
  
• Make a homemade photo booth with props. Ask a friend to be in charge of the digital camera.
  
• Build a crunk cup station, as mentioned earlier.
  
• Set up an old fashioned game of cornhole or darts.
  
• I have a lot film friends, so I was going to ask them to film a funny video to show at the wedding. I'll just use iMovie to edit it all together.
• Have a wine tasting table. Buy ten good bottles (or save up some bottles you've been gifted over the years), and let your guests sample them. Some friends of mine did this at their wedding and it was a big hit.
  
• We're going to have a mead tasting station. Since a lot of people have never tasted mead before, we're going to make sample sizes available at a small table. I'm sure my dad will be stationed here for a time...well he made it, who better to talk about that him!

25. Chairs (image)

• Make your chairs work double-duty. My bride friend used the same chairs for the ceremony AND the reception. After the ceremony was over, they had their MC tell all the guests to bring their own chairs into the reception area. It worked out perfectly.
  
• Use benches instead of chairs for a rustic look. Benches can do double duty too - just get long tables instead of circular.
• Since our wedding party will all stand on ONE side as opposed to being split up, our wedding party will be sitting/standing up at the "altar" in a lounge-y area we create - think a vintage looking couch surrounding by old hat boxes, a phonograph, and whatever else we can find! After the ceremony, we will use the couch for the lounge area in the garden.
  

25 Cost Cutting Concepts for the Post-modern Bride, Part I

Why POST-modern you ask? 'Cuz callin' it 'modern' ain't modern enough for this bitch. Thas right, son. I've scoured the pages of "Modern Bride Magazine"...and let's just say there's really not anything modern about it. I mean, are we really associating the word "modern" with articles on cake cutting etiquette??? Seriously, people. So, since I'm a little more modern than the current definition of a "modern bride," I've come up with some money-saving ideas for post-modern brides who adhere to the following criteria:

1. The desire to tweak or forgo traditions that are too costly or outdated.
2. The willingness to DIY, use friendors, and bargain with vendors.
   
3. The desire to BE YOURSELF 100% throughout this entire process.
   

If this sounds like you, read on, sista. Read on.

Recently, one of my readers reached out to me about our venue BoxEight Studios. She loved the venue but was worried that the $3000 rental fee would put too big a dent in the $10,000 budget. Knowing that we have similar budget constraints, my reader wanted to know how we were dealing with it and what exactly we were cutting back on. So here goes:

Bowie Bride's
"25 Cost Cutting Concepts for the Post-modern Bride"

1. Dress

• My wedding gown AND my reception dress together set me back $1100, including cleaning and alterations. TIP: Buy a sample gown. Mine was a sample and it was HALF PRICE. I was also able to get her to knock another $100 off the dress and get her to include cleaning and alterations - never hurts to bargain.
  
• Buy a white/cream/off-white dress off the rack. Nordstrom, Jovani, eDressMe, BCBG, Bluefly, ABS, and Net-a-porter are some great options.
  
• Hit up Dolly Couture for a 50s-inspired wedding dress for UNDER $600. She does custom pieces too. If I hadn't found my dress, I would have hands down gotten this dress from Dolly.
  
• I plan to sell my ceremony dress on Oncewed or Preowned Wedding Dresses after the wedding for half of what I paid.
• And I'm totally re-wearing my reception dress after the wedding.
  

2. Transportation

• Mike, me, and the entire wedding party will be taking the city bus to and from the wedding. No limos, or rented getaway cars.
  
• TIP: We knew the venue was located near a bus stop, so we chose hotels that are on the same bus line.
  
• To ensure your guests feel comfortable with the ever-intimidating prospect of taking public transpo, give them detailed instructions and tell them to travel in groups.
  
• We are also going to ensure there is a line of cabs waiting in front of the venue at the end of the night.

3. Centerpieces (image source)

• We are thrift store shopping for vases, mason jars, figurines, old tins, retro lunchboxes, doilies, old novels, cups, cans, frames, retro concert posters, LP sleeves, etc. Then we're going to "craft" it all together with flowers made out of paper and T-shirt material, mixed with a few in season blooms bought the day of, purple baby artichokes, succulents, fruit, Polaroid pictures, white lights, candles, etc.
  
• We are purchasing most of these items secondhand or we hope to share them or sell them to another bride (more on that in Part II).
• TIP: Start buying materials for your centerpieces at least 7 months before the wedding. This way you'll have a lot of time to DIY. Because that's what it's gonna take: TIME.
  

4. Color Scheme (image source)

• Will be nearly non-existent.
• TIP: Not being tied down to only two or three colors will give us more options for decor. I promise none of your guests will care or even notice the difference between "robin's egg blue" and "turquoise," so why obsess over it? This way, you won't be spending extra money just so you can get perfectly matched colors.
  
• Instead, we've chosen to have 10 colors that all compliment each other - this also provides more option for our wedding party. We are encouraging them to wear whatever they like, as long as it coordinates with said colors.
  

5. Music

• We are using an iPod and our venue is giving us free access to their huge sound system.
• TIP: If you use an iPod, hire someone or have a friend run it the whole night - with playlist and detailed instructions in hand. They'll need to know when to break for the first dances, etc.
• Don't be afraid to ask friends to 'gift' a service to you. I also have a VERY talented DJ friend who's worked with the likes of Snoop and Jurassic 5...so perhaps we can get him to 'gift' us an hour of world class DJ'ing? Just to get the party started?? Wink, wink, DJ Monsta, wink, wink... :)
  
• As for the ceremony music, we are NOT hiring live musicians. Instead, we are playing music from an iPod, and we got my sister to play our processional song on the electric guitar (obviously free).
  
• TIP: If you're too attached to the idea of a harpist or string quartet playing you down the aisle, then hit up your local University's music program and hire someone for half the price. All aspiring creative people and performers NEED PRACTICE AND WILL DO IT FOR CHEAP.
  

6. Videographer (image source)

• I went to film school, so I'm going to see if any grad student in cinematography would like to shoot our wedding video for a cheaper rate.
• I may also hire a student editor to put it all together.
  
• TIP: AGAIN, there are A LOT of aspiring filmmakers all in need of PRACTICE and would totally shoot your wedding for cheap. Film students are creative so you know they will care that it looks artistic. So just call up your local college film department, or advertise on Craigslist.

7. Honeymoon (image source)

• We're using flight vouchers for our honeymoon (this we got lucky on).
  
• TIP: If you have the option to get 'bumped' off a flight, TAKE IT. We volunteered to take a flight the next day because our plane was overbooked. The airline gave us $800 in flight vouchers, they put us up in a hotel, AND we got a free meal. Honeymoon airfare = PAID FOR.
  
• For hotel options, choose to forgo the hotel all together. Stay in a rented vacation home for a week and opt to cook for yourselves for some of those nights - especially if you're in a city where fresh fish is available everywhere. I found an amazing little bungalow with an outdoor shower on the Big Island of Hawaii for less than $90/night and a 5 minute walk to the beach.
  
• Can't afford a super-splurge or even a mini-splurge honeymoon? Reach out to friends, friends of family, co-workers, etc - maybe they have a timeshare somewhere they aren't using, or a vacation home that needs a sitter for a week. I know someone who has a great house overlooking a lake that they only live in part of the year. They prefer someone to house sit when they're away - and in exchange you get a free place to stay!
• Register for your honeymoon on Traveler's Joy. It's free to set up and easy to use!
  

8. Food (image source)

• We're renting a Kogi BBQ taco truck. Only 14 bucks per person, unlimited food and soft drinks for 2 hours - and it's like a taste of LA in one bite - Korean/Mexican fusion. Who cares if it's not a plated meal!
  
• Other cheaper food options include: Italian pasta buffet, Gourmet Pizza Delivery, a pig roast, a potluck.
  
• Or approach a smaller hole-in-the-wall type joint and asks if they can cater. I found a teeny tiny Mexican food place who can do tacos for your whole wedding for only $6 per person!
  

9. Attendant Gifts

• I plan on making something, or using my screenwriting background to write them a personalized, action-packed short film screenplay starring them! Personalized is always better anyway.
  
• Here's a gift I would like as an attendant: the ability to wear whatever I effin' please!
  

10. Booze (image source)

• We decided to cut back by doing BYOB.
  
• We will be providing kegs of beer, cases of wine and champagne.
• My dad is going to homebrew the rest of the beer and honey wine.
  
• I may be convinced to buy a few bottles of Patron Tequila for shots only...you know, for the rowdy crowd. I'll hit up Costco. Get the Patron four-pack.
  

11. Eve of Wedding Hotel Room

• Instead of having our own separate rooms, we may just stay together that night in the same room.
  
• We can save $100-200, AND I know we're going to be superballs nervous and we are the only ones who can effectively calm each other down.
  
• TIP: if you don't want to see each other that night, opt to split costs by sharing a room with members of the wedding party, then move into your own suite for the wedding night.
  
• Some hotels may even offer you a free room if a decent number of your wedding guests are staying in the same hotel. Just ask them. Can't hurt.
• If you're close enough, stay at home - or have one of you stay home for that night. Nothing is more comfy than home.
  

12. Day of Assistants (source)

• Hire 'production assistants' through Craigslist to set up, break down and clean up your wedding.
• Trade Day-of Coordinating services with another bride. A fellow bride KNOWS how important it is for everything to run smoothly, so who better to trust with the master schedule? I would LOVE to take advantage of this - both having a fellow bride do it for me, and me do it for her! It would be an honor.
• I may also reach out to my former film school to see if any students need some easy extra cash - especially since our wedding will be during the summer months when students have more free time (and are running out of money!)
  

13. Officiant (image source)

• We are having a friend of the family perform the ceremony for free.
• TIP: If you're officiant is out of state, avoid the state fees by saying you have specific religious needs that require your chosen officiant. (I realize many wouldn't dare do this, but we're not religious, so we may go for it).

Stayed tuned for #14-25...

Wedding Dress.......CHECK!!!!

Dear MIKE, a.k.a. Bowie Groom,
DO NOT READ THIS POST, MAN.
LIKE SERIOUSLY.
STOP.
READING.
NOW.

Love, B

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh. My. Nuts. I can't believe it. I found my dress!

I was not planning on buying anything at all. I mean, the wedding's a year away! But when I put it on, it just...oh my...it was like "WHOA." I gots-to-get. First, I'll give you the back story. So as mentioned previously, I went gown shopping for the first time with my mom and two sisters while they were in town visiting me. First, we went to a quaint little sample dress shop in my neighborhood called The Glamour Closet.

ATTN: ALL LADIES WHO WANT A DESIGNER GOWN - I'M TALKIN' REAL-DEAL VERA WANG and CAROLINA HERRERA STUFF HERE - FOR UNDER $2500, go to The Glamour Closet. They have locations in LA and the Bay Area. They had a beautiful selection of absolutely stunning gowns - ballroom, sheath, trumpet, mermaid, short, you name it! This is how it works: You go in, no appointment necessary. They let you try on 6 gowns at a time. You go through the store and pick them out yourself, then the consultant brings them to the dressing room for you to try on. I truly did like all the gowns I tried on, but none of them were really "the one," nor were they really in my price range... I'm going for under a $1000 here. They had a short dress that was 300 bucks - I'm pretty sure that was the cheapest. But the major price ranges were $1500 to $3000. But for the dresses you're getting, it's well worth it. And you get to take the gown home with you that day! The consultant also had an interesting idea. She suggested that a bride who wants a short dress could shorten a ball gown they have on the floor. I thought that was a cool idea. Overall, I'd say this shop was excellent. Very sweet, no-pressure kind of consultants who let you come back to their store as much as you want. They get new inventory every month. So it's like a new shop every time you go back! Here are a few beauties I tried on at the Glamour Closet (they let you take pictures too):

Dress by Rosa Clara
I dug this one. Not really something I would have seen myself wearing, but glad I tried it on. It was the first dress I tried on that I was like, "Ooh, I likey."

Dress by Vera Wang
So, so beautiful, but there was too much going on. And it was way too heavy and hot for a summer wedding in SoCal. I loved the unique dusty rose color of it, though.

NEXT, we went to Lili Bridals. Let's aptly title this bridal shop, "The One Where the Cast of 'Friends' Bought their Fake Wedding Gowns".

The ladies of 'Friends' got the gowns worn in this photo at Lili Bridals

Pretty rad, huh? I LOVED this place. The second we got there, my wonderful, no-pressure consultant instructed me to go start looking and pick out whatever I wanted to try on. I immediately showed her the dress I came there to try on. She was pretty sure they had it and went in the back to check.

Having fun at a bridal shop. Who knew!

I browsed the dresses - they were even having a sample sale going that day! I ended up trying on 3 gowns off the sale rack (one of which ended up being MY dress!) Lili Bridals is where I discovered my true love affair with gown designer "Watters." I'm a curvy gal with hips, boob and ass. So finding a dress that accentuates these traits rather than blows them up, is difficult.... UNTIL I DISCOVERED WATTERS! Curvy girls get your sweet curvy asses to a place that sells Watters gowns. They even have HOT gowns for under a thousand bones. Something for every budget. Here are some of the dresses I tried on at Lili Bridals:

Watters, Style: Cancun
I actually really loved this dress. Super fun, easy to dance in, boob enhancing, just plain cute dress. Ultimately, I didn't want to pay $800 for a dress with waaaay less fabric.

Watters, Style: Cordoba
This is similar to the one I bought, but not as detailed. I liked the bust of this dress very much. The bottom of it wasn't as cool as mine though and it didn't have the 'sass-factor' I was looking for.

I tried on a few other 'meh' dresses not worth posting. So I won't let you guys wait any longer to see my beauty. Without further ado.............Here is my dress:

Watters, Style 9052b
It hugs the curves and bust just right and it has SASS. The criss-cross detail on the bodice, the trumpet bottom, the sweetheart neckline - everything on this dress just WORKS. When I had it on, I felt amazing. But most of all, I felt like I could kick a little ass while in it. So I'm going with no veil, just flowers in the hair. Hot and simple. Fresh and fun. Rock and roll.

Here are the reasons I knew the dress had to be mine:

1. When Mike and I first started planning this wedding, I was very nervous about the dress situation. Everything I liked was WAY out of our budget. BUT, there was this one dress that I saw on the Watters website that I absolutely LOVED. And it was cheaper than everything else I saw (about $1500). Still a little too rich for the old wallet's blood, but it gave me hope that I could find a stunning, couture dress for less.
   
2. The only bridal shop in Southern California that had this Watters dress I've been lusting after was Lili Bridals in Tarzana, CA. So there was only one shot that this dress would be available to me.
3. I printed out the pic of the dress and gave it to my consultant. She had it in-store. Eeep!
   
4. When she brought the dress out, it was just as beautiful as I had imagined it to be. Then, I saw IT - attached to the bust of the gown - a shiny, red tag hung. Yes, you read right - there was a RED TAG! Meaning it was on SALE!!!!!!!!!!
5. Not only was it on sale, but it was HALF OFF. The dress that was originally $1500 was now $799. I immediately got nervous because I knew right there I was going to have to make a decision to buy that day. I couldn't order the dress, I had to buy the sample and there was only ONE. Pressssssss-ure
   
6. I put the dress on and WOW. Like, whoa-sauce-wow to the miz-ax bananas.
   
7. The dress was in my size range - a 10 that needs to be taken in to an 8 (so that means I'm like a size 6 'n stuff. ah yeaaah, son!)
8. The sale was ending that day.
9. My consultant cut me a deal on top of the sale. She sold me the dress for $699, with free cleaning, pressing, and only charged me $150 for all the alterations.
10. SO the grand total for my designer wedding dress + tax + alterations + cleaning + pressing came to $930!
11. AND I had the money to pay for it straight out, so it didn't actually come from our wedding budget. More for the honeymoon!
12. And last but not least, my mom and my sisters were there to see me try it on. It really was a special moment for me to have them there. I truly thought I was going to be out in LA wedding gown shopping all by my lonesome. What a treat it was.

At Lili with my lay-daaaays.

So for those glorious 12 reasons, I bought the dress. Good choice? I'm not panicking yet...so I'm gonna go with YES!!

Today's Excitement!

My Mom, my sister Kim, and my sister Cass are flying into town in less than 3 hours!!! My family lives in Phoenix, so we don't get to see each other as much as I'd like. I couldn't be more excited - especially since my mom has yet to see the LA apartment I've been living in for the last two years!

From left: Kim, Cass, Me, Mom
We all have a different hair color in this pic! Ha!

And guess what???

They're taking me wedding dress shopping...for the first time...eeep! Not sure if that's an excited "eeep" or a scared "eeep"... I'm a huge fan of fashion and I generally do like to shop, but dude, wedding dresses are a whole other bag.

I think I'm going to go into the first appointment with a total open mind. I'll even try on a poofy, white monstrosity of a ballgown just to say I went for it. Not saying it's going to look good...at...all...BUT I'm open.

Good lord thasssss some poof
(source)

All three of my ladies are staying at our one bedroom apartment. Mike will be leaving for Idaho on Friday to visit with his family so he won't 'have to' endure our girly weekend of wedding dress talk and loud, giggly laughter.

SoCal Brides: stay tuned for a future post on how it all went! I'll be checking out Lili Bridals in Tarzana, CA. From their website, they seem like an affordable place with unique gowns. ALSO, for the M-O-B, they're having a sample sale RIGHT NOW. So get on it! I'm gonna get my hot Momma to try on a few... Hopefully I'll get some pics to post too!