I don't want a conventional guest book. I definitely want some kind of memento dedicated to the guests in attendance, but it's gonna be a lil on the looney side. Hear me out.
Everyone always asks their guests to write "marriage advice" next to their names in the guestbook. So the guests generally end up writing old standby's like "Don't go to bed angry"... Or "Always go to bed angry, and talk it out in the morning after you've had time to digest." That kind of advice is all well and good, but we've been living together for 5 years... so I think we've got a handle on whether or not going to bed angry works for us or not. Every couple is different, and therefore will respond to marriage advice differently. But I do know a bit of advice that EVERY couple can get down with. And that advice, my friends, is simply this: "Have a lot of sex." And to better enable us to have lots of married sex, I thought it would be an awesome idea to ask our guests for song suggestions to go on a "Sex Mix" playlist... you know, their favorite funky grooves to fuck to. Then the next day, after the wedding has come and gone, our freshly married selves will read through the suggestions, and make an arsenal of Sex Mixes ready for our honeymoon listening pleasures.
Here are a few of my favorite Sex Mix Playlist tunes. Feel free to use them at will...
"Since I've Been Lovin' You" - Led Zeppelin
"Beast of Burden" - The Rolling Stones
"El Scorcho" - Weezer
"Sweet Jane" - The Velvet Underground
"Jealous Again" - The Black Crowes
"La La Love You" - The Pixies
"Cry to Me" - Solomon Burke
"These Arms of Mine" - Otis Redding
"I Might Be Wrong" - Radiohead
"This Must Be the Place" - Talking Heads
What are your favorite songs to get down to? What would be the #1 Sex Mix Playlist song you'd write on our guestbook?
Someone once told me that it's not "classy" to get loaded at your own wedding. I'm not even going to waste my time explaining why I think that statement is the biggest CROCK I'vc ever heard. Because if you're reading this blog, you probably are having the same, "are-u-fucking-kidding-me" reaction to that as I did.
Who the EFF is going to spend an entire YEAR planning a party for themselves and not party? Well. Not this bitch. In fact, I'm planning the entire schedule of this wedding around the booze.
Pre-ceremony & Ceremony: White Wine
Cocktail Hour: Same + Red Wine, Homebrew, Keg of PBR
Dinner: Same + Mead tasting
Toasts: Same + Champagne
First Dances: Same + Gin n Juice
Dance Party: Same + Shots of Patron
I've also heard horror stories about not having *time* to drink at your own wedding... that the couple spent most of the reception talking to their guests. Which is lovely, don't get me wrong. I will of course want to talk to as many guests as I possibly can, but I'll be double-fisting drinks while I'm doing it. And when the dance party starts, don't even *think* of starting a conversation with me... unless you can communicate in the language of DANCE. Like so:
So I have two questions for you:
How loaded do you plan on getting at your wedding? And if you're married... How loaded did you get at your wedding? On a scale of 1 to 10... 1 being "stone cold sober" and 10 being "Drunk off your balls." I'm really curious...
...a first dance suggestion. If we could pull this song off, I'd be so down.
A lyric sampling...
I never knew a luh, luh-luh, a love like this Gotta be somethin for me to write this Queen, I ain't seen you in a minute Wrote this letter, and finally decide to send it Signed sealed delivered for us to grow together Love has no limit, let's spend it slow forever
There are times.. when you'll need someone.. I will be by your side.. There is a light, that shines, special for you, and me..
How sweet is that?! I think it's a perfect song for the couple who want to
Weddings are very much centered around music. We're no exception to this...hello, Bowie.
I'm a huge music fan, and I'm bored with hearing the same-old, on-the-nose love songs played at weddings. Sorry, K-Ci & JoJo. Sorry, Savage Garden. You guys were a hit at my High School dances, but a girl's gotta draw the line somewhere.
However, and this is a big HOWEVER, I would never suggest - or think it was right - that you base your first dance song - or any love song played at your wedding - on 'how cool the song makes you look.' If you want to play K-Ci & JoJo's R&B masterpiece "All My Life" or Foreigner's mind blowing passion anthem"I Wanna Know What Love Is" go for it! Just try mixing in a few new ones, eh? ;) Thasss all I'm sayin', yo.
We already know what our first dance song is. But, for those of you who need some suggestions, here are a few. And these totally are NOT limited to first dance songs. Love songs are used throughout the whole affair: processional, recessional, during cocktail hour, while guests wait for the ceremony to start, during dinner, during the dance party, and as a last song send-off. So if you're like me and using music for every single one of these, you may get a little help from the following list:
I italicized the most offbeat choices. So just go with it, man!
Magical Feeling Kinda Love Songs: Magic in the Air - Badly Drawn Boy May This Be Love - Jimi Hendrix Lili, My One and Only - Smashing Pumpkins Is This Love? - Bob Marley
February Stars - Foo Fighters
Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Miracle - Foo Fighters
Deep, Can't Live Without You Kinda Love Songs: This Must Be The Place - Talking Heads
By Your Side - Sade
Crush - Smashing Pumpkins Yellow (piano version) - Chris Martin of Coldplay Sky Blue and Black - Jackson Browne Pictures of You - The Cure This Year's Love - David Gray
Fallen for You - Sheila Nichols Soul Love - David Bowie Heroes - David Bowie The Air That I Breathe - The Hollies Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me - Mel Carter Do You Realize? - The Flaming Lips Everlong (acoustic) - Foo Fighters
Quirky, Fun Kinda Love Songs Us - Regina Spektor In the Aeroplane Over the Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel All I Want Is You - Barry Louis Polisar
Melt With You - Nouvelle Vague
Love is Strange - Mickey & Sylvia
El Scorcho - Weezer
Only in Dreams - Weezer
This Boy - The Beatles The Man in Me - Bob Dylan Can't Take My Eyes Off of You - Lauryn Hill Sexin' on the Dance Floor, Kinda Love Songs These Arms of Mine - Otis Redding
Stay - Maurice Williams and the Zodiacs Can't Get Next You - Al Green
The Blowers Daughter - Damien Rice
Waterfall - Griffin House Colorblind - The Counting Crows
I Want You - Kings of Leon
Throw Your Arms Around Me - Mark Seymour Cry to Me - Solomon Burke House of Cards - Radiohead All I Need - Radiohead
I Want to Sex You Up - Color Me Badd (And yes, I'm serious)
Got any more to add to the list?Or how about this: Tell me your LEAST favorite love song played at weddings.That should be fun.
Here's the acoustic version of Coldplay's "Yellow." I think it would make a beautiful first dance song.
...I'm a having glass of wine (or three) and jamming out to some recent iTunes downloads for the wedding. Tonight I'm compiling my favorite jamz from the 90s, y'all. Here's a lil' samplin'.
OPP - Naughty By Nature
Sexy Mothaf*cka - Prince (Mike's grandmother's FAVORITE)
Whatta Man - En Vogue
Gonna Make You Sweat - C+C Music Factory
Freedom - George Michael
Show Me Love - Robyn
Believe - Cher (Yes. Seriously.)
Sure Shot - Beastie Boys
Bump N Grind - R. Kelly (for a lil sexin' on the d-floor)
Jump Around - House of Pain
Gin and Juice - Snoop Dogg (Why, yes! I do have bitches in the living room getting it on. And NO. They're not leaving until six in the morn'.)
Big Poppa - Notorious B.I.G.
How Do You Want it? - 2pac
Tootsie Roll - 69 Boyz (also known as the classiest act in hip-hop)
What is the policy on playing offensive music at a wedding? Now, y'all bitches know I don't gives no shits about being 'proper.' BUT seriously, can I play "Gin n Juice" or "Ain't No Fun" by Snoop Dogg at the wedding? Or is that in poor taste? And please realize if you vote 'yes,' it's only going to encourage me to play it :) I THRIVE on defiant behavior. Someone tells me not to get more tattoos, guuurrrl you know I'm gon' get 'em. In fact, I have three tats lined up that I know I already want. And as a complete side note bonus: they're gonna look hella fly against my white dress. I have one tat now...but as the story goes...once you pop you can't stop. Or is that from a Pringles commercial?
I sing and play piano. Not professionally or anything. Just for fun. Music has always been that 'other thing I can kinda do' - you know, aside from the whole day job thing. My piano has been living at my parents house since I moved out years ago... So, sadly I haven't been able to play as much as I used to. And for years I've kind of felt a part of me was missing - my musical side. So one day, I was like, "Eff this. I miss playing so much. I'm gonna go buy a keyboard."
I keep coming across these amazing piano love tunes - "Sky Blue and Black" by Jackson Browne, "Magic in the Air" by Badly Drawn Boy, "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds, etc. And I keep getting this crazy thought in my head that maybe I could...I don't know...dedicate a song to Mike...maybe during the ceremony or reception...by singing him a song whilst accompanying myself on piano...?
Oh, Lord. Even just the act of typing this notion out makes me nervous... Who am I kidding? I'm barely brave enough to play Christmas carols in front of my family, for nut's sake. But then there is this other side of me that gets the biggest RUSH from performing. I was an actor all through high school and college - doing musicals, sketch, short films, plays, and speech and debate. I was actually the lead in my high school musical...haha. Even got a college scholarship for it. But I pretty much stopped after college because I didn't want to deal with the nerves anymore - which is part of the reason why I gravitated toward being a writer instead. I still do sketch every once and a while at The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, but I can't shake this irrational fear of performing. Once I get over the anticipation part, I feel fine. I'm able to immerse myself into the character and not think about it. It's the whole 'waiting to go onstage' part that psychs me out... Aren't we going to be nervous enough on our wedding day? Why would I want to throw a full-fledged musical performance in front of 120 people into the mix?
Well. I think I know why. Cuz it would be cool as hell. I would KILL to attend a wedding in which the Bride or Groom plays a song for one another. I think it takes major cajones to put yourself out there like that - especially if you don't perform for a living...um...like yours truly...
While contemplating this risky venture...I said to myself, "Britt, you're only gonna do this if you find the PERFECT song - one you can sing (well enough) AND play at the same time - and one that screams 'Mike and Britt 4-eva' when you hear it." That's fair criteria, no? Well. I *think* I found a song. One that I love. One that inspires me. One that is a love song - but the lyrics aren't 'on-the-nose' or overly sappy. One that I can play AND sing. One that reminds me how in love I am with my Michael. Shall I reveal it? I'm not sure that I really want to - because that means I have to do it then, right? Okay, okay I'll tell you one thing: the artist is Regina Spektor. The song name will be revealed if I feel confident enough to do it...I know, I'm so mean...
And hey, maybe it won't be as bad if I did it during the reception as opposed to the ceremony. I just know Mike and I will already be an emotional wreck up there saying our personal vows. Throw in a private love song performance too? Ha! Put a fork in us - WE'RE DONE.
Would you have the balls to do this? Know anyone who has? I'm also open to song suggestions if you got 'em...
Why POST-modern you ask? 'Cuz callin' it 'modern' ain't modern enough for this bitch. Thas right, son. I've scoured the pages of "Modern Bride Magazine"...and let's just say there's really not anything modern about it. I mean, are we really associating the word "modern" with articles on cake cutting etiquette??? Seriously, people. So, since I'm a little more modern than the current definition of a "modern bride," I've come up with some money-saving ideas for post-modern brides who adhere to the following criteria:
The desire to tweak or forgo traditions that are too costly or outdated.
The willingness to DIY, use friendors, and bargain with vendors.
The desire to BE YOURSELF 100% throughout this entire process.
If this sounds like you, read on, sista. Read on. Recently, one of my readers reached out to me about our venue BoxEight Studios. She loved the venue but was worried that the $3000 rental fee would put too big a dent in the $10,000 budget. Knowing that we have similar budget constraints, my reader wanted to know how we were dealing with it and what exactly we were cutting back on. So here goes:
Bowie Bride's "25 Cost Cutting Concepts for the Post-modern Bride"
1. Dress
My wedding gown AND my reception dress together set me back $1100, including cleaning and alterations. TIP: Buy a sample gown. Mine was a sample and it was HALF PRICE. I was also able to get her to knock another $100 off the dress and get her to include cleaning and alterations - never hurts to bargain.
Hit up Dolly Couture for a 50s-inspired wedding dress for UNDER $600. She does custom pieces too. If I hadn't found my dress, I would have hands down gotten this dress from Dolly.
And I'm totally re-wearing my reception dress after the wedding.
2. Transportation
Mike, me, and the entire wedding party will be taking the city bus to and from the wedding. No limos, or rented getaway cars.
TIP: We knew the venue was located near a bus stop, so we chose hotels that are on the same bus line.
To ensure your guests feel comfortable with the ever-intimidating prospect of taking public transpo, give them detailed instructions and tell them to travel in groups.
We are also going to ensure there is a line of cabs waiting in front of the venue at the end of the night.
We are thrift store shopping for vases, mason jars, figurines, old tins, retro lunchboxes, doilies, old novels, cups, cans, frames, retro concert posters, LP sleeves, etc. Then we're going to "craft" it all together with flowers made out of paper and T-shirt material, mixed with a few in season blooms bought the day of, purple baby artichokes, succulents, fruit, Polaroid pictures, white lights, candles, etc.
We are purchasing most of these items secondhand or we hope to share them or sell them to another bride (more on that in Part II).
TIP: Start buying materials for your centerpieces at least 7 months before the wedding. This way you'll have a lot of time to DIY. Because that's what it's gonna take: TIME.
TIP: Not being tied down to only two or three colors will give us more options for decor. I promise none of your guests will care or even notice the difference between "robin's egg blue" and "turquoise," so why obsess over it? This way, you won't be spending extra money just so you can get perfectly matched colors.
Instead, we've chosen to have 10 colors that all compliment each other - this also provides more option for our wedding party. We are encouraging them to wear whatever they like, as long as it coordinates with said colors.
5. Music
We are using an iPod and our venue is giving us free access to their huge sound system.
TIP: If you use an iPod, hire someone or have a friend run it the whole night - with playlist and detailed instructions in hand. They'll need to know when to break for the first dances, etc.
Don't be afraid to ask friends to 'gift' a service to you. I also have a VERY talented DJ friend who's worked with the likes of Snoop and Jurassic 5...so perhaps we can get him to 'gift' us an hour of world class DJ'ing? Just to get the party started?? Wink, wink, DJ Monsta, wink, wink... :)
As for the ceremony music, we are NOT hiring live musicians. Instead, we are playing music from an iPod, and we got my sister to play our processional song on the electric guitar (obviously free).
TIP: If you're too attached to the idea of a harpist or string quartet playing you down the aisle, then hit up your local University's music program and hire someone for half the price. All aspiring creative people and performers NEED PRACTICE AND WILL DO IT FOR CHEAP.
I went to film school, so I'm going to see if any grad student in cinematography would like to shoot our wedding video for a cheaper rate.
I may also hire a student editor to put it all together.
TIP: AGAIN, there are A LOT of aspiring filmmakers all in need of PRACTICE and would totally shoot your wedding for cheap. Film students are creative so you know they will care that it looks artistic. So just call up your local college film department, or advertise on Craigslist.
We're using flight vouchers for our honeymoon (this we got lucky on).
TIP: If you have the option to get 'bumped' off a flight, TAKE IT. We volunteered to take a flight the next day because our plane was overbooked. The airline gave us $800 in flight vouchers, they put us up in a hotel, AND we got a free meal. Honeymoon airfare = PAID FOR.
For hotel options, choose to forgo the hotel all together. Stay in a rented vacation home for a week and opt to cook for yourselves for some of those nights - especially if you're in a city where fresh fish is available everywhere. I found an amazing little bungalow with an outdoor shower on the Big Island of Hawaii for less than $90/night and a 5 minute walk to the beach.
Can't afford a super-splurge or even a mini-splurge honeymoon? Reach out to friends, friends of family, co-workers, etc - maybe they have a timeshare somewhere they aren't using, or a vacation home that needs a sitter for a week. I know someone who has a great house overlooking a lake that they only live in part of the year. They prefer someone to house sit when they're away - and in exchange you get a free place to stay!
Register for your honeymoon on Traveler's Joy. It's free to set up and easy to use!
We're renting a Kogi BBQ taco truck. Only 14 bucks per person, unlimited food and soft drinks for 2 hours - and it's like a taste of LA in one bite - Korean/Mexican fusion. Who cares if it's not a plated meal!
Other cheaper food options include: Italian pasta buffet, Gourmet Pizza Delivery, a pig roast, a potluck.
Or approach a smaller hole-in-the-wall type joint and asks if they can cater. I found a teeny tiny Mexican food place who can do tacos for your whole wedding for only $6 per person!
9. Attendant Gifts
I plan on making something, or using my screenwriting background to write them a personalized, action-packed short film screenplay starring them! Personalized is always better anyway.
Here's a gift I would like as an attendant: the ability to wear whatever I effin' please!
We will be providing kegs of beer, cases of wine and champagne.
My dad is going to homebrew the rest of the beer and honey wine.
I may be convinced to buy a few bottles of Patron Tequila for shots only...you know, for the rowdy crowd. I'll hit up Costco. Get the Patron four-pack.
11. Eve of Wedding Hotel Room
Instead of having our own separate rooms, we may just stay together that night in the same room.
We can save $100-200, AND I know we're going to be superballs nervous and we are the only ones who can effectively calm each other down.
TIP: if you don't want to see each other that night, opt to split costs by sharing a room with members of the wedding party, then move into your own suite for the wedding night.
Some hotels may even offer you a free room if a decent number of your wedding guests are staying in the same hotel. Just ask them. Can't hurt.
If you're close enough, stay at home - or have one of you stay home for that night. Nothing is more comfy than home.
Hire 'production assistants' through Craigslist to set up, break down and clean up your wedding.
Trade Day-of Coordinating services with another bride. A fellow bride KNOWS how important it is for everything to run smoothly, so who better to trust with the master schedule? I would LOVE to take advantage of this - both having a fellow bride do it for me, and me do it for her! It would be an honor.
I may also reach out to my former film school to see if any students need some easy extra cash - especially since our wedding will be during the summer months when students have more free time (and are running out of money!)
We are having a friend of the family perform the ceremony for free.
TIP: If you're officiant is out of state, avoid the state fees by saying you have specific religious needs that require your chosen officiant. (I realize many wouldn't dare do this, but we're not religious, so we may go for it).
I knew this would happen. I buy my wedding dress and I have worries that I won't be able to dance as hard as I want to in it because it's tight at the knees... THIS IS A MAJOR PROBLEM FOR ME, KIDS. Big. Huge. I need to dance without a care in the world at this wedding. Dancing like an all-out jackass is probably one of my favorite things to do in the world. Hell, I dance in my living room... by myself... on a Tuesday. So there's no way in hell I'm going to sacrifice dancing like there's no tomorrow for a dress... So I'm hoping that it's just me worrying for nothing.
But just in case, the point of this post is to draw your attention to the little off-white dress to your right.
Wouldn't this be the perfect dancing dress for the reception? I could more than JAM in this little number - and it's super cute and totally something I would wear (and wear again). I'm way too tempted to buy it right now... So someone needs to stop me before I start entering my credit card numbers. However, I will also be taking votes of encouragement as a means to NOT feel bad for buying a second dress :)
Oh, yeah. The dress is $288.00... Not too bad but still pricey enough to say 'no'. What do you guys think?
To help you further decide, here's a pic of the back:
Having an offbeat, magical, whimsical, outdoor ceremony with an alt-rock feel? Then I suggest you use this song to walk down the aisle to:
Tonight, Tonight by The Smashing Pumpkins
We've all heard it before, but listen to it again while imagining yourself fluttering down the aisle, madly in love, with stars in your eyes and feathers in your hair, on the verge of tears because everything around you is SO. DAMN. AWESOME. If we hadn't already picked our processional song, I would SO go for this tune. It's just breathtaking. And it's from one of my favorite albums of all time. Do you guys remember buying Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness when it first came out? You know, the double CD that you begged Mom and Dad to buy for you because it was twice the price of a normal CD? Yeah, that one. And I love it. Oh so dearly.
Here is the video. I'm sure you guys all remember seeing it on MTV for the first time in the 90s, back when MTV actually played music...
I mean, just read the lyrics for the last part of the song...the last words you and your guests will hear before the actual ceremony starts...
We'll crucify the insincere tonight We'll make things right, we'll feel it all tonight We'll find a way to offer up the night tonight The indescribable moments of your life tonight The impossible is possible tonight Believe in me as I believe in you, tonight
How mega-rad is THAT?
"The impossible is possible tonight!" is going to be my motto for this entire wedding process, btw. I mean, putting together a wedding with 120 guests on a small budget with all DIY decor is going to be HARD. When we first started planning this wedding, the word "impossible" was a mainstay in my vocabulary. So it's the little things like this song that encourage me to believe that everything is going to work out - and that even if it seems impossible, we'll MAKE it possible because A.) Mike and I make an amazing team and B.) we've since grown our much-needed WEDDINGS BALLS. And those, my friends, are some big-ass balls (slightly hairy, with a porcelain feel). ANNNNND I just took that one too far...
Get more of my dirty mouth over at Wedding Chicks, playas!
Holy hell it's been a long-ass week. I need me some Bowie to start the weekend off right. I know you all do too. To kick off "Bowie Time Fridays" (B-T-F), I leave you with my absolute favorite Bowie tribute song, sung by the one and only Flight of the Conchords. For those of you who haven't seen this, WATCH NOW. It's way too hilarious to pass up.
"Hey Bowie, do you have one really funky space suit, or do you have several cha-changes?"
Duuuuude, I so want the McJaggernauts to play our wedding. Actually, I'd be just as happy if only the key-tar player could show up. How rad is that? Who plays the effing key-tar? If you do, I want to meet you. Possibly take you out to dinner. Pick your brain a little bit. Cool? Yeaaah.
